"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Follow up Field Report - Tell me what went wrong.

The_Wolf

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Back Ground- 3 years ago me and this girl, N, were friends, and on a "dare" got a bit sexual. Basically didn't hang out for the next 3 years...just talked every several months to keep in touch. 2 weeks ago I text her saying I'm leaving for the Army and want to say Goodbye.

So we get together this Friday. (she asked if we can grab a bit together).
It was snowing really hard here, but I still managed to go over her house by train. 2 stops away from her station, she texted me saying "D (her friend) is going to join us, ok?" I didn't replied, but knew it was going to hurt me. I get off the train and meet them 2. (Btw, I went to school with her friend for 4 years, never really liked her, she always has attitude, you know that type? always complains and cries...but we were on good notes, even though I don't like her). So N asks me if I drink, I of course say yes. We get some beers (each got a 6 pack...) and go to her house to watch a few movies.

When I saw them 2, gave them both a hug, chit chated a bit, tried to act out what I learned in theory these few weeks on this nice forum...
So we set the Tv and all, and watch a movie. But guess what? I get stuck sitting on the outside of the couch ( N, then the friend, then me) which really bummed me out. Not close to N at all (which I was trying to "game") and I got this girl stuck between us.

We drank a little, but not enough..I thought these 2 were really gonna drink and maybe we'll have some fun, but at most they both drank 3 beers (even thought they are known to drink a lot...). When sitting next to the friend I tried a bit of kino...it worked partially, her ass was resting on my fore-hand for a few minutes, then she would shift her position, and then touch me again. Really confusing and annoying actually.

So my only chance was trying to be funny, which I did, and we had a good laughs all together, but there was still tension, you know what I mean? Alone in her house, with a friend that I don't like, and this girl I didn't see in 3 years.

Overall I got some good responses from her, ("wow you've grown!"). But I still think her friend fvcked it all up basically.

So we watched 2 movies, then they walked me to the train, hugs goodbye, keep in touch kind of sh!t, and that's all.

Any thoughts on this? I know its a bit long..but I'm not sure what I could have done better..Acting funnier? it felt weird. Sitting by N? had to way to get to her...I am pretty bummed b/c I hoped it will be just the 2 of us and I would know how to take it from there.

To sum it up-
Minimal Kino.
I was funny- even got some sex jokes in there.
Awkward situation made the whole night a bit weird..
(I still think having English as a 2nd lang hurt me here...they were both home grown american girls).


Looking forward for the harsh comments, bring them on, that's the only way I'm gonna learn.

Thanks guys.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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GloriouslyInsane

Master Don Juan
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First of all she brought her friend just in case you tried anything "funny" so i think you were screwed/fzed all along.Don't try to date girls you already know,approach new girls with a clean slate.
 

The_Wolf

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Snow Plowman said:
You didn't close, you did nothing to really escalate in the end it was your fault nothing happened. So what if she brought a friend to come hangout, you should've still been escalating.

This will sound AFC'ish, but when its one-on-one, I would know how to escalate. But for this dynamic, where there are 2 girls, and one is giving a bad vibe to the whole night, how would I escalate?

I just want to know for future situations, though I think I am done with this specific girl (I'm moving away from the country anyway..back to Israel). And of course, I value your opinion :)
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Snow Plowman

Master Don Juan
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Basically your pumping both there BT but your doing mose of the teasing on your target and creating more sexual tension with her. You can also kino both but kino the target more intimate than the friend.

So say if you were play fighting you'd probably shove the friend and slap her arm a bit. But for your target you'd probably pick her up in a bear hug and ROCK BOTTOM! her on the table. but seriously you get the point.

Also kino could be discreet also, away from the eyes of the friend. Say she went to the kitchen to get something and you and your target were in the room for like 5 seconds. You could quickly go for the kiss and all. She can't be judged because her friend didn't see and even if she does she approves because you still were pumping the friends BT and it wasn't like she is bored out her mind while the target is getting all the fun and attention.

You could've also made her join the fun, by playing a game where all 3 of you could be apart.
 
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