Follow up date


New Member
Apr 14, 2019
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Hi everyone, new to the forum but wanted to make an account after reading the Rational Male and putting stuff into practice.

Here's a recent dating situation I'd like to seek constructive criticism from my fellow Don Juan's here on this forum and see how I can solidify this prospect as a plate:

Met a 26 year old lady about 8 months ago on the job who was showing me her companies building in NYC that they needed work done on. I ended up connecting with this lady during the meeting by finding out she likes to travel as well and had been to the same Spanish cities I was traveling to about 2 months later. After the meeting I wanted to continue the conversation by grabbing coffee which she shot me down and said she had a boyfriend but proceeded to talk to me for an hour outside the building. We ended up talking about traveling, countries, etcetc which we ended the conversation on a very positive note. Turns on shes Ukrainian and had moved to NYC when she was 4, and it turned out I also knew her Father from a building hes the manager of (The same one she lives) I could also care less shes taken, this was someone I wanted to pursue.

2 months later on the day I leave to Spain she signs my contract, finds me on Whatsapp and sends me the longest list of things to do in Spain. I found this to be incredibly calculated and impressive for remembering when I was leaving. We ended up texting while I was in Spain and I actually did a lot of the things she recommended which in part - made my trip by trying different things. I appreciated and thought her list was cool.

6 months later with only professional emails between us regarding the work being done happening she met me at the building were working on together after I reached out because I couldn't get in but let me know in advance she wouldn't have keys to get in? She shows up and we were flirting for the next 2 hours, including talking about traveling. I played my cards well. After completing the walk through of the building she asked if I wanted to get coffee around the corner. Another hour of just flirting and getting to know one another and making one another laugh. I didn't once ask about the bf situation, didnt even care. This was followed up by 2 more fast coffee dates during work hours which she met me on, said she told her father about me and wish she didnt have to return to work and could continue spending time with me. Bold lines I thought, but I didn't want to overanalyze. I felt I have to play my cards smart because shes a customer that I have to maintain a working relationship with. But I'd like to take it further that a professional relationship obv.

A week later, I said f*ck it asked what she was doing after work which she said she was busy only to message me 10 minutes later to see if I wanted to get a drink. We did, we went to a super classy hotel with a ****tail bar and got drunk where she asked me a lot about relationships and I was able to keep her laughing the entire time. Said I wasn't looking for anything serious and she agreed. This date went fantastic and there was a lot of vibe between us. Walked her home but I wasn't allowed in since her father runs the building. No kiss no nothing.

2 days later we got coffee again and she let me know she actually broke up with her boyfriend a month prior. This to me, put me in the clear even more to pursue her but also made me think to be careful. Flirted the entire coffee date again.

Follow up date - 2 days later and last I had seen her. I double dated to a Knicks game which went super well and was followed up by drinks with only us. We ended up on a couch at the NoMad hotel bar where we talked traveling, art, and etc. She let me know she was into me which resulted in us kissing. I'm in. Got a cab and drove to her place where I wasn't allowed in because of her father once again. (Truth be told, he's my customer too and I would rather bring her to my place) Got a text saying thank you for a great night and was texted the entire next day which sadly was about her ex who is blocked on everything and is a psycho and wont leave her alone. This was a red flag to me, but one I didn't want to let bother me if I wanted to sleep with this girl - Things got cold when I've invited her out again. I've gotten "I'm busy all day" "I have to study" "I have class" All cold texts but things which shes actually doing. It's been 3 weeks now and she won't come grab a drink again or go out for coffee? The ex isnt back in the situation but I'm curious if I should let it cool off since that situation might be bothering her? I'm keeping my tables open and rotating other plates but would like to keep this one going.

Anyways - need some help on keeping this prospect alive and to get it further and to the next level. Advice? Constructive criticism? Let it begin.
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Master Don Juan
Nov 17, 2014
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From the Heart and Soul, of a Woman
Do not reach out to her. Let her wonder about you. Your absence will further build her curiosity and thus further build her attraction as well. When it rises enough she will reach out, one way or another. When she does, do not chit chat. Straight up invite her out for drinks or better yet over to yours, so you two can "catch up."


Master Don Juan
Jan 4, 2012
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She kept giving you green lights and kept trying to press the accelerator pedal for you but you kept putting the car in park and pressing the brakes.

Dude, you went on all these dates and barely kissed her a few times? She lost interest because she wants to find someone who wants to fvck her and can do it while she is still alive. At your rate she will have died from old age before you get around to it.

She loves sex...she knows you love sex...the fact you havent tried anything in her mind shows her you are scared to make a move...women dont want a scared little boy, they want a man. So you couldn't go to her place...why not your place? Why not get a room somewhere? Why not take her to the bathroom somewhere? Literally do something!

You only get so many chances to escalate with a woman...once you dont do it they just lose interest because they expect a man knows how to lead them to sex...when they realize you don't its a very unattractive trait...