Flirting

[B0redandl0nely]

I did a sort of double date with a girl and her friend brought a guy that was more charismatic than me and she was talking to him and I was paranoid she was flirting

 

[Fzatf]

A little bit of cross-flirting can happen. Don't let it bother you, just step up your game to keep up. As long as you're flirting you're still in the picture.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

See I can't deal with that. I'm tempted to ask her

 

[B0redandl0nely]

Plus having Asperger's ****s with my game

 

[Fzatf]

Asking her about it won't help you. Just focus on keeping things fun and see if she's interested in doing something with just you. If you can't deal with another guy around, just keep dates between you and the girl you're interested in.

I don't know a lot about aspergers, but work with what you got and improve your game even if sometimes you have a part of you working against you. Do the best with what you got and try not to focus too much on where you mess up. Treat it as a learning experience for next time.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

Asking her about it won't help you. Just focus on keeping things fun and see if she's interested in doing something with just you. If you can't deal with another guy around, just keep dates between you and the girl you're interested in.

I don't know a lot about aspergers, but work with what you got and improve your game even if sometimes you have a part of you working against you. Do the best with what you got and try not to focus too much on where you mess up. Treat it as a learning experience for next time.

Yeah you're right bro but I'm ****ed in the head from so many failures and I don't know if I'm ever coming back...

 

[Fzatf]

It's not easy to come back from failures, but without those failures you wouldn't improve. Just take it day by day and be patient with yourself.

 

[user43770]

I did a sort of double date with a girl and her friend brought a guy that was more charismatic than me and she was talking to him and I was paranoid she was flirting

That's the best way to learn game - watch it in action.

We've all had to take second seat at some point. Don't let it hurt your feelings.

Next time, you'll be better at over-talking. You'll be better at not caring.

Eventually, you'll be better at talking up other chicks nearby when you feel awkward. Or just leaving altogether.

You'll grow into it. As long as you keep trying.

 

[zekko]

If you're going out with another couple, it's only natural that you all interact with each other. If you have Asbergers, chances are you might have more trouble socializing in groups than 1 on 1. Like Fzatf says, if you can't deal with this sort of thing, maybe it's better to keep things to just you and her, or at least keep the group stuff to a minimum. Unless you're wanting to practice getting better at a group situations.

Also agree with Fzatf that bringing it up to her does you no good. Sounds like you have a negative attitude about yourself so try not to be too emotionally invested in this girl (or any girl), you could get badly hurt if there's a breakup.

 

[ubercat]

As is often my way I'd suggest a bit of both.

Work on your group skills at Meetup groups where you're going along to share an activity like sports or drinks or whatever. It's going to be easier to develop social skills where you're not actively competing for some girl and your ego s on the line

If it's a girl you're actively chasing keep the first few dates one on one until you're banging her on the regular. I'm really not a fan of introducing girls into your world too quickly I'd say minimum of 6 months.

I want a girl to be adding to my life not causing drama.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

Well I'm at a distinct disadvantage because I'm Aspergers. I might have game but it doesn't come out because of my biological makeup.

 

[ubercat]

So I work in. IT and often with and in software development teams. I ve met dozens of Aspergers guys who have good careers attractive wives and a couple of kids. I guess nobody told them that they were doomed. Or maybe the next time you tell yourself that you are hopeless you should tell that little voice to shut the fuk up and get on with some ACTION. You are not doomed kid and you've got plenty of time to turn it around and plenty of people here on your side.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

No I don't and I want the girl I had back and not everyone with aspergers is functional like the guys you mentioned trust me I've done much research. I don't want aspergers and I hate my life. I'm 26 with no friends and no career don't tell me about what I can do cause so far I haven't done ****

 

[B0redandl0nely]

I cannot hold a conversation. I can't do anything

 

[B0redandl0nely]

There's no reason why I should have lost this girl other than my faulty wiring. NO REASON and I don't want anybody else

 

[ubercat]

Right so you go out looking for the Aspergers research that allows you to justify your excuses. How about looking at the functional Aspergers guys trying to work out how to be more like that.

I'm just a little curious. Who can stop you putting on your trainers and going for a run every morning? Who can stop you joining a chess club for a bit of company. Who can stop you smiling and saying hi to people in the street as you walk past them. Who is that guy?

 

[B0redandl0nely]

I don't identify with someone who comes across as socially awkward and jumps at the sound of fireworks being set off close to me. If I didn't have this condition id be on this forum talking about normal problems. You guys don't have what I have so until ur in my shoes you cant say anything

 

[B0redandl0nely]

Flirting is just flirting

I’ve been called a flirt by women all of my adult life

I flirt with women I shouldn’t even be flirting with.......and they flirt right back. It doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t mean it’s gonna lead to anything

It’s fun and keeps your wit sharp

I have the intelligence and charisma to flirt but it doesn't matter cause autism gets in the way