B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I did a sort of double date with a girl and her friend brought a guy that was more charismatic than me and she was talking to him and I was paranoid she was flirting
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Flirting
- Thread starter B0redandl0nely
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
See I can't deal with that. I'm tempted to ask her
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
Plus having Asperger's ****s with my game
Asking her about it won't help you. Just focus on keeping things fun and see if she's interested in doing something with just you. If you can't deal with another guy around, just keep dates between you and the girl you're interested in.
I don't know a lot about aspergers, but work with what you got and improve your game even if sometimes you have a part of you working against you. Do the best with what you got and try not to focus too much on where you mess up. Treat it as a learning experience for next time.
I don't know a lot about aspergers, but work with what you got and improve your game even if sometimes you have a part of you working against you. Do the best with what you got and try not to focus too much on where you mess up. Treat it as a learning experience for next time.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
Yeah you're right bro but I'm ****ed in the head from so many failures and I don't know if I'm ever coming back...
U
user43770
Guest
That's the best way to learn game - watch it in action.
We've all had to take second seat at some point. Don't let it hurt your feelings.
Next time, you'll be better at over-talking. You'll be better at not caring.
Eventually, you'll be better at talking up other chicks nearby when you feel awkward. Or just leaving altogether.
You'll grow into it. As long as you keep trying.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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If you're going out with another couple, it's only natural that you all interact with each other. If you have Asbergers, chances are you might have more trouble socializing in groups than 1 on 1. Like Fzatf says, if you can't deal with this sort of thing, maybe it's better to keep things to just you and her, or at least keep the group stuff to a minimum. Unless you're wanting to practice getting better at a group situations.
Also agree with Fzatf that bringing it up to her does you no good. Sounds like you have a negative attitude about yourself so try not to be too emotionally invested in this girl (or any girl), you could get badly hurt if there's a breakup.
Also agree with Fzatf that bringing it up to her does you no good. Sounds like you have a negative attitude about yourself so try not to be too emotionally invested in this girl (or any girl), you could get badly hurt if there's a breakup.
As is often my way I'd suggest a bit of both.
Work on your group skills at Meetup groups where you're going along to share an activity like sports or drinks or whatever. It's going to be easier to develop social skills where you're not actively competing for some girl and your ego s on the line
If it's a girl you're actively chasing keep the first few dates one on one until you're banging her on the regular. I'm really not a fan of introducing girls into your world too quickly I'd say minimum of 6 months.
I want a girl to be adding to my life not causing drama.
Work on your group skills at Meetup groups where you're going along to share an activity like sports or drinks or whatever. It's going to be easier to develop social skills where you're not actively competing for some girl and your ego s on the line
If it's a girl you're actively chasing keep the first few dates one on one until you're banging her on the regular. I'm really not a fan of introducing girls into your world too quickly I'd say minimum of 6 months.
I want a girl to be adding to my life not causing drama.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
Well I'm at a distinct disadvantage because I'm Aspergers. I might have game but it doesn't come out because of my biological makeup.
So I work in. IT and often with and in software development teams. I ve met dozens of Aspergers guys who have good careers attractive wives and a couple of kids. I guess nobody told them that they were doomed. Or maybe the next time you tell yourself that you are hopeless you should tell that little voice to shut the fuk up and get on with some ACTION. You are not doomed kid and you've got plenty of time to turn it around and plenty of people here on your side.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
No I don't and I want the girl I had back and not everyone with aspergers is functional like the guys you mentioned trust me I've done much research. I don't want aspergers and I hate my life. I'm 26 with no friends and no career don't tell me about what I can do cause so far I haven't done ****
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I cannot hold a conversation. I can't do anything
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
There's no reason why I should have lost this girl other than my faulty wiring. NO REASON and I don't want anybody else
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Right so you go out looking for the Aspergers research that allows you to justify your excuses. How about looking at the functional Aspergers guys trying to work out how to be more like that.
I'm just a little curious. Who can stop you putting on your trainers and going for a run every morning? Who can stop you joining a chess club for a bit of company. Who can stop you smiling and saying hi to people in the street as you walk past them. Who is that guy?
I'm just a little curious. Who can stop you putting on your trainers and going for a run every morning? Who can stop you joining a chess club for a bit of company. Who can stop you smiling and saying hi to people in the street as you walk past them. Who is that guy?
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I don't identify with someone who comes across as socially awkward and jumps at the sound of fireworks being set off close to me. If I didn't have this condition id be on this forum talking about normal problems. You guys don't have what I have so until ur in my shoes you cant say anything
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I have the intelligence and charisma to flirt but it doesn't matter cause autism gets in the way