"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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flame me!

JSH

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then how the **** could you post them without them being starred out, i think somebody had an epileptic fit with his finger on the * button.

OR

maybe its because you are magic.

:D
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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gav

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motherfvck - a ten letter verb as demonstrated in jay and silent bob's song
 

JSH

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i thought of mother**** but thought that only the **** would be censored, time to test it out. I think that person was lazy and jsut typed in stars.
 

JSH

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proved right
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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WaRpEd

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b!tch
 

Master Homer

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No one likes you, no one will ever like you, ever. You where a mistake the day you born. You'll never amount to anything you filthy bum. Get out of the gene pool. You aren't worthy of posting in Don Juan Discussion Forum. Oh my god don't cry you *****. Just do yourself a favor and go away.
 

Matt Man

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you couldnt get a girl even if you can read her mind, ya ****ing LOSER.





bit hard aint it:D
 
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