Flaking after a First Date

[Agent9]

Ok, so I'm a long time reader of the forums and decided to start posting threads. I'm not hopeless and I get a first date with what is usually an 8 about every month. However, I have hit a plateau. I can never seem to take it past a first date. I'm becoming mister million first dates and when I call a girl a couple days after a date, I get the voicemail and never a call back.

This is getting old and I want to take it the next level. It is frustrating and the girl will usually be smiling and laughing most of the time. Whether I go for the make out or not seems to be irrelevant. Lately, I have been trying to open up more and talk about my dreams, goals, and aspirations as well as try to get her to do the same. I don't know if it is just me but I feel like this is the toughest step to get past. Any thoughts?

 

[Kailex]

Can you give us a detailed example??? I can't really make a judgement based on general knowledge.

What was your last date like? What happened during the date? Where did you go? Was there kino? More and more questions... so, please answer?

 

[Agent9]

Can you give us a detailed example??? I can't really make a judgement based on general knowledge.

What was your last date like? What happened during the date? Where did you go? Was there kino? More and more questions... so, please answer?

We just went for drinks after work. I thought it went well the conversation was flowing and natural, I avoided talking about boring subjects. It was only like an hour. A little bit of kino I should have tried more. For me it doesn't seem to matter whether or not I do a short date or long date, elaborate or not, I get the same result. I know I need to work on my kino but that can't be the only thing.

 

[DMSR76]

Sounds like you may be coming across too "friendly". I've struggled with this problem in the past as well.

You mentioned something to the affect of sharing your dreams with these women, which is a no-no on a first meeting. She should be qualifying herself to you, not the other way around. Allow mystery to work in your favor. Don't be a 'nice guy' to people who haven't earned right to experience that side of your persona.

Flakes happen. Some women are doing you a big favor by ending contact early. There are a lot of damaged goods out there, and in some cases you're better off not dealing with them. Also, keep these first meetings (don't consider them dates) as inexpensive as possible. You won't be nearly as frustrated if nothing comes of it. Make your expectations known through action (eg., kino) and let the chips fall where they may.