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MoreThanSmooth

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I've noticed recently that every time I go out and post photos of my evening I get a few girls messaging me telling they can't wait to hang out with me. Then I go to arrange it and 99% of the time it never happens.

Few weeks later I go out again and these same girls are messaging me again. WTF? I get they like the social proof or whatever but I really don't get this on-off "we should hang out" nonsense when it doesn't go anywhere. They're not gaining anything by messaging me and they're not making me orbit because I really don't care if we hang out or not...so their net "win" is nothing but trying to grab my attention like this. What are they playing at?

There's one girl now who kissed me last time we hung out, and every year she's like "Come to my birthday please, I really wanna see you xxx" but I only see her maybe twice a year. The rest of the year she's asking me out but it never happens even when I make an effort, and this has gone on about 3 years now.

Are some people genuinely just useless at hanging out, or are these girls playing some kind of Lord Baelish-esque intrigue that I just don't get? Because if I messaged a girl for 3 years asking to hang out and then just didn't do it they would probably think I'd gone insane.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I've noticed recently that every time I go out and post photos of my evening I get a few girls messaging me telling they can't wait to hang out with me. Then I go to arrange it and 99% of the time it never happens.

Few weeks later I go out again and these same girls are messaging me again. WTF? I get they like the social proof or whatever but I really don't get this on-off "we should hang out" nonsense when it doesn't go anywhere. They're not gaining anything by messaging me and they're not making me orbit because I really don't care if we hang out or not...so their net "win" is nothing but trying to grab my attention like this. What are they playing at?

There's one girl now who kissed me last time we hung out, and every year she's like "Come to my birthday please, I really wanna see you xxx" but I only see her maybe twice a year. The rest of the year she's asking me out but it never happens even when I make an effort, and this has gone on about 3 years now.

Are some people genuinely just useless at hanging out, or are these girls playing some kind of Lord Baelish-esque intrigue that I just don't get? Because if I messaged a girl for 3 years asking to hang out and then just didn't do it they would probably think I'd gone insane.
The game they play is this validation game. They just like knowing they can have you. They string several dudes along like this.
 

backseatjuan

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Similar to what this video says, it's nothing but validation. I would post more pics of you with hot chicks and ignore anything coming your way.


It's like they see you with HB8 and she is a fcking 7, and in her little mind if she gets you interested that means she's a fcking 10. Neg her, ask her if she goes to gym often. Did she ever consider doing a boob job. Why her booty's flat?
 

nismo-4

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The women that did you this actually won because all they wanted was to know you wanted to go out with them.

Start going Mode 1. As in you have no desire to be platonic friends and only want women who actually go out. I don't do that weak-ass simp bulls**t. Tell them this. They'll either move on because they want a beta or go along with your program.
 

Glassguy

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Next time just tell them that they arent really your type and that "you're too good of friends to date".

"Yeah I dont know......I normally dont date blondes....".

You will mind fvck even the hamster as it runs crazily inside her head.......and then she will chase like crazy.

This is the same thing as the availability trap. As soon as she knows that you WILL go out with her, she doesnt want anything to do with it.

Its a spin off of her low to mild interest. If it was higher she would jump all over the offer to go out with you. So just mind fvck women like this and walk away. You will raise your SMV and they will be back.
 

Glassguy

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Let me add this- if you do what I just said ^^^^^^^, she may get mad and become the victim. She will do that if she had NO interest in ever going out with you to begin with. Who cares....deuces.

If her interest is at least a 5 or 6, she will be back and she will all of a sudden become available.
 

nicksaiz65

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The game they play is this validation game. They just like knowing they can have you. They string several dudes along like this.
How do you avoid getting strung along/played/used like this? Two Strikes Rule is the best I can think of.

The Availability Trap?
 

Robert28

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Let me add this- if you do what I just said ^^^^^^^, she may get mad and become the victim. She will do that if she had NO interest in ever going out with you to begin with. Who cares....deuces.

If her interest is at least a 5 or 6, she will be back and she will all of a sudden become available.
A lot of guys are afraid to make women mad. I had one blow me off and we had been dating. Totally didn’t hear from her the Friday we were supposed to do something even though she’d accepted earlier in the week. She texts me the day after and claims she was mad at me over some **** I did 3 weeks ago and I didn’t even do what she was accusing me of, and damn sure wasn’t going to apologize for it. I just said “you didn’t respect me enough to text me and tell me you didn’t want to hangout and it’s not my problem you wait 3 weeks to bring this crap up now. If you had a problem with me you should have asked me then.” We fought for awhile but I had enough and told her to hit the bricks. She did a total 180 and apologized TO ME.
 

Poonani Maker

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I read all of little-known but highly excellent (though stilted learned sentence structure exacting the dialect of the time) Inglis Fletcher's 1940s through 1950s Carolina series depicting Real Colonial American history 1600s through 1700s, though on the whole, fiction (as women authors write best fiction not non-fiction), and in those novels is how stories/movies all plays and entertainment USED to be before 1960s CHANGE to the Stanley characters of "A Streetcar Named Desire." From then on the Hero of movies/plays/books became brooding NEGATIVE rapist, Dark instead of men of character or something for all men to strive for, you know, the valor, the sword, the sacrifice, the Honorable, trustworthy, Good and familial. It's an intentional destruction of Our Way of Life, starting mid-1960s, maybe earlier. In those Carolina series, you see females yearning over the male of her interest or affection or longing to see and be with for YEARS. It would be long spells of never seeing the man she wants (out of maybe 3 or 4 "interests" in her LIFEtime - like since 15 or 16 years old until her mid to late 20s and then after than, um, she's an old maid if she hasn't woo'd the man she only wants, it's OVER - in the books the older women are always telling them they're "too young" but they snap back and resist and say "I'm 16!" and something like "Mary found her beau when she was 17!" or something like that). So the men of their focus were on horseback and/or sailboat and times between visits or crossing each others' paths usually unintentionally, but sometimes intentionally, were few and far between, and events held much more gravity or they made up in their minds greater weight to the events, news, and gossip. This facebook thing, this instagram stuff, is a dime a dozen "reporting" and not "word-of-mouth" gossip that hold no weight. We no longer have the town talk or familial mail carrier of what's what and what's going on and Adam's goings and doings that his yearning love interest is asking about or overhearing at dinner tables, or out at the barn, or while riding a horse, doing chores, or hearing news from the family doctor who makes a house call from over 50 miles away on horseback.
 

Kotaix

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observe what women do and not what they say. They're just looking for validation. If she doesn't want to meet you, she's not interested.
 
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