Flaked out on!

[oatmealandtuna]

Hey people, I just got what I think is a lame-o excuse for cancelling my date today but I want to get your input on it.

Here's all the dirt:

I got the number of a chick who works at my gym (Front Desk). Based on previous conversations I know about her interest in Jet Li movies and suggested that we see Hero sometime. She expressed what I thought was a great deal of interest and gave me her number without hesitation.

A few days later I call and try to set up a date. She says that on Monday she should be free after 5:30 after work, of course she prefaced this with "er, I think I get off at 5:30...yeah, that's right, 5:30." She requested that I call her on Monday though because she'd be drinking on Sunday and might get totally trashed. And again, during this conversation she seemed enthusiastic and said she's "totally down."

I call on Monday and she says "you won't believe this...I close tonight! etc etc etc." After all this she says I don't even have your number so I couldn't call you, etc etc, how about you give it to me. I give it to her and tell her that she should call me when she knows her schedule for the rest of the week. She agrees.

Okay guys, opinions? I dropped the ball in her court and I'll just leave it at that. If she doesn't call I'll know why, but I just want to see what everyone else thinks about this.

Thanks!

-Oatmeal

 

[DJ_Dork]

You're right. The ball is in her court and the excuse is lame. Doesn't seem like she's really interested in you...throw her number away.

 

[oatmealandtuna]

Yeah, I seem to be getting conflicting messages about her interest level. At first she seemed so into it all, I was quite surprised and now I don't know what to think.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Could be a legitimate reason, although I would of gave her my number and then say I'll call you some other time. That way the ball is still in your court.


You wait 3-5 days then you call again to set up another date.

I say, give it a week and call her back. If she pulls the same thing and doesn't counter offer, tell her "Well, you got my number so when you know you are free call me." then throw her number away and NEXT.

 

[Ken785]

you should come in and workout during her shift. dont start any conversations w/ her. if she says hey, say hey back and just go on about your business. dont pay that h0e no attention.

 

[oatmealandtuna]

Dee-Zy - Just out of curiosity, is there anything inherently better about leaving the ball in my court? It was my intention to drop it in hers to get a final reading on her IL.

Ken785 - Interesting advice. I already workout during her shift normally, I'll give it a shot. I was originally going to give her a hard time about being flakey (in a ****y way of course), etc, but maybe not paying much attention to her would be a better tactic.

 

[Fatality]

Originally posted by DJ_Dork
You're right. The ball is in her court and the excuse is lame. Doesn't seem like she's really interested in you...throw her number away.

How isn't she interested? Are you saying that she doesn't really have to close? Sometimes things do come up.

Keep us posted oatmeal

 

[oatmealandtuna]

Bump for Dee-Zy and Ken785.

I will see her tomorrow morning, I'll let you all know how it goes.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by oatmealandtuna
Dee-Zy - Just out of curiosity, is there anything inherently better about leaving the ball in my court? It was my intention to drop it in hers to get a final reading on her IL.

Ken785 - Interesting advice. I already workout during her shift normally, I'll give it a shot. I was originally going to give her a hard time about being flakey (in a ****y way of course), etc, but maybe not paying much attention to her would be a better tactic.

Control.

If you still want this chick, you need to keep the control - you only throw the ball in her court when you don't care anymore (i.e nexting). Cuz most girls won't call back - so it's not a great indicator of IL. Some will be interested but still won't call back (It's messed up I know)


It's more complicated than that, but I'm dead tired right now - I gotta hop to bed.

keep me updated.

 

[xblitz44x]

I agree. Call her. What if ::gasp: she's telling the TRUTH! : )

Ok, picture this scenario...What if you were supposed to meet up with just a good *friend* that night (guy or girl), and it turns out they couldn't make it because they had to work late? Are you going to get all bent out of shape and think "Uh oh, maybe they dont' want to be friends anymore, maybe their interest in me being a friend isn't there". Of course not. Shyt comes up sometimes. So why is it any different when it's with a girl that we LIKE?

It's because when we're dealing with a girl that we are sexually compelled to, all of our insecurity comes rising to the surface without us even realizing it. So, instead of us seeing regular, normal actions, we're seeing a picture distorted by our own issues that are being brought to the surface. That's why if you meet a chick at a club and she says "I'm going to the bathroom", we automatically start thinking "Is she really? Maybe she's not interested, maybe she's just trying to lose me?" or if a girl has to call and reschedule a date we start coming up with all types of warped shyt that, if we were dealing with a friend, we'd just brush off.

There is a chance that she IS blowing you off too, but right now you really DON'T know. So to not call on purpose is not the most constructive way to handle it. Really, what do you have to lose by calling again?

-Blitz

 

[JJMcLure]

I rank girls who work in gyms almost side by side with barmaids and waitresses in the oversupplied with male attention category (and potential attenton wh0re).

I didn't like the way she asked you to call to confirm. And wow, it turned out she actually did flake on you that night when you called. Surprise! And if you hadn't called she would have been able to say she didn't have your number to let you know when you got stood up.

So she broke the date, whether her excuse was genuine or not, it isn't going to hurt you to call her up in a week and ask her out again. Or even do it next time you see her. But don't expect her to call you, she is a chick after all (and you can expect she has quite a few options in her job).

 

[squirrels]

Don't ever put yourself in a "call to confirm" position. You're a busy guy. You've got more to do with your time than wait until the night-of to see if she decides she can go somewhere. Tell her if she's not sure if she can make it, schedule it for another day when she's sure she IS.

ESPECIALLY for that sh!t. "Oh, I might be drunk off my ass Sunday so I don't know if I can keep a commitment." What kind of excuse is that?? You're a real keeper there, babe.

If I were you, I wouldn't have gotten off the phone without a counter-offer, or at least an enthusiastic acceptance of another time and place you two can meet, preferably sometime soon. If she gives you hesitation, just get off the phone and chuck her.

BTW, did you call her on her cellphone? Very few cells DON'T have caller ID in this day and age.

 

[DJ_Dork]

dude, just take my advice and throw the number away. when someone is interested in you, they will make time for you and if they have to flake out, they always make up another day where you two can get to know each other.

 

[oatmealandtuna]

DJ_Dork was totally right. Just FYI, I NEXTed that ****. Thanks fellas.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

I disagree. I think that this girl was telling you the truth. You put the ball in her court, which is good. However, I wouldn't throw this possible relationship away. Wait 5 days for her to call you, then call her back. That's just what I'd do, but what do I know?

 

[fanatizmu]

if you just want to cancel a date just say 'hey girl i am not going out because i will be washing my hair' like they do!!! LOL believe me turning down a girl gives you a sense of power that you never imagined... some girls actually give their telephone number easily and then turn guys down because it makes them feel like in control...try it you will become a much better don juan after.. turn a girl down

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by oatmealandtuna
DJ_Dork was totally right. Just FYI, I NEXTed that ****. Thanks fellas.

Without taking a last swing?


Congradulation, you just saved yourself a few months of sex.

 

[oatmealandtuna]

No, you guys misunderstand. I actually made several other attempts, all of which resulted in excuse after excuse after excuse. So yeah, I took a last swing...and another, and another. A time comes when you have to say enough is enough. I could give you all the details but it's too aggravating to obsess over now.

 

[bp1974]

Asking twice is usually enough to tell. If you don't manage to get together in two times of you asking her and once of giving her your number, then she's definitely not interested.