"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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First time experiencing LMR. Help!

OC Speedball

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I have this girl that is high interest. One of the highest interest girls I have ever gone after. I'm not going to go into all the details, because this isn't a field report. (Just ask me if you need any specific details on behaviors or whatever, and I'll respond). Anyways, this girl invited me to her friend's party. When I got there her friends were like, "Oh my gosh! You're Speedball? She's been talking about you!" My target asked me to take shots with her, so I did. I won over her friends- they were high fiving me, taking shots with me, talking with me, etc. I hadn't drank all semester, but I recently finished finals, so I decided to celebrate a little.

It was a lot of fun, but I got drunk; something I shouldn't have done, because her sister came up to me and stuck her tongue down my throat (I guess she liked me). It took me a few seconds to realize it was her because of my slowed reaction time, but when I did I immediately pushed her off me. My target didn't see this but I was worried she would find out.

During the party my target put her feet up on my lap, and I started massaging them while talking to people at the party. Later in the night, after everyone left or went to bed, we ended up sitting on the couch together alone. She was sitting up against me. We started talking about music, and I had my arm around her waist and I was rubbing her thigh and butt while talking. I can't remember how long I did this for, because I was drunk. We were probably talking for 30 minutes and every few minutes I would slowly start to put my hand in her pants...she would pull it away every time, but she never moved. She continued to sit up against me and we continued to talk. I finally got it far enough in to touch her vag, but she pulled it away once I did. I remember stroking her hair behind her ear at one point. Later in the time we were sitting together I said, "Lay back and spread your legs." She did, and I slopilly proceeded to try to go down on her. She laughed and pushed my head away before I could get her pants off. After that I said, "Ok, I'm going to bed," and then took my shirt off, laid back and immediately passed out. She went to bed upstairs.

Here's the thing- I don't remember if I even kissed her! I was too drunk and sloppy to even remember to kiss her/make out with her first. I tried to go straight to sex instead. The next morning we talked like nothing happened, she was still cool and there was no awkwardness. I went on like it was just another day. A couple days later I texted her to meet up but she had to go to her friend's graduation. The convo was flirty and fun.

Anyways, I would like some veterans advice on this. What did I do worng? Did she hold out simply because I was way too drunk? Is she holding out because she doesn't want to be seen as a slut and maybe wants something more? Should I have kissed her first?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ARrocket

Master Don Juan
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Making out with her should get her turned on pretty good. Which, of course, makes it easier to get her out of her clothes.

And yeah, it's easier when you're not completely sh!tfaced.
 

OC Speedball

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BUMP! One response? Are you guys seriously all virgins or what? Lol

Thanks ARrocket.
 

Masculinity

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Kino escalation is linear. There is no rule stating you must take a certain amount of time to have sex with a girl. However, most of you will agree that you must get her comfortable with touching, kissing, and them making out, sex, etc.

I think you will be fine--just escalate more smoothly next time. Another piece of advice: don't go down on girl you don't know--STI's, baby.

Keep being money,

-Robyn
 

OnTheWayUp

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Robyn923b said:
Kino escalation is linear. There is no rule stating you must take a certain amount of time to have sex with a girl. However, most of you will agree that you must get her comfortable with touching, kissing, and them making out, sex, etc.

I think you will be fine--just escalate more smoothly next time. Another piece of advice: don't go down on girl you don't know--STI's, baby.

Keep being money,

-Robyn
This. I would add that you shouldn't go down on a girl until a) you know her and b) she has gone down on you. Why reward her without her putting in any work? I think you're on the right lines, OP, just make out/ grope/ rub yourself against her body before escalating to oral.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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