Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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First time experiencing LMR. Help!

OC Speedball

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I have this girl that is high interest. One of the highest interest girls I have ever gone after. I'm not going to go into all the details, because this isn't a field report. (Just ask me if you need any specific details on behaviors or whatever, and I'll respond). Anyways, this girl invited me to her friend's party. When I got there her friends were like, "Oh my gosh! You're Speedball? She's been talking about you!" My target asked me to take shots with her, so I did. I won over her friends- they were high fiving me, taking shots with me, talking with me, etc. I hadn't drank all semester, but I recently finished finals, so I decided to celebrate a little.

It was a lot of fun, but I got drunk; something I shouldn't have done, because her sister came up to me and stuck her tongue down my throat (I guess she liked me). It took me a few seconds to realize it was her because of my slowed reaction time, but when I did I immediately pushed her off me. My target didn't see this but I was worried she would find out.

During the party my target put her feet up on my lap, and I started massaging them while talking to people at the party. Later in the night, after everyone left or went to bed, we ended up sitting on the couch together alone. She was sitting up against me. We started talking about music, and I had my arm around her waist and I was rubbing her thigh and butt while talking. I can't remember how long I did this for, because I was drunk. We were probably talking for 30 minutes and every few minutes I would slowly start to put my hand in her pants...she would pull it away every time, but she never moved. She continued to sit up against me and we continued to talk. I finally got it far enough in to touch her vag, but she pulled it away once I did. I remember stroking her hair behind her ear at one point. Later in the time we were sitting together I said, "Lay back and spread your legs." She did, and I slopilly proceeded to try to go down on her. She laughed and pushed my head away before I could get her pants off. After that I said, "Ok, I'm going to bed," and then took my shirt off, laid back and immediately passed out. She went to bed upstairs.

Here's the thing- I don't remember if I even kissed her! I was too drunk and sloppy to even remember to kiss her/make out with her first. I tried to go straight to sex instead. The next morning we talked like nothing happened, she was still cool and there was no awkwardness. I went on like it was just another day. A couple days later I texted her to meet up but she had to go to her friend's graduation. The convo was flirty and fun.

Anyways, I would like some veterans advice on this. What did I do worng? Did she hold out simply because I was way too drunk? Is she holding out because she doesn't want to be seen as a slut and maybe wants something more? Should I have kissed her first?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ARrocket

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Making out with her should get her turned on pretty good. Which, of course, makes it easier to get her out of her clothes.

And yeah, it's easier when you're not completely sh!tfaced.
 

OC Speedball

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BUMP! One response? Are you guys seriously all virgins or what? Lol

Thanks ARrocket.
 

Masculinity

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Kino escalation is linear. There is no rule stating you must take a certain amount of time to have sex with a girl. However, most of you will agree that you must get her comfortable with touching, kissing, and them making out, sex, etc.

I think you will be fine--just escalate more smoothly next time. Another piece of advice: don't go down on girl you don't know--STI's, baby.

Keep being money,

-Robyn
 

OnTheWayUp

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Robyn923b said:
Kino escalation is linear. There is no rule stating you must take a certain amount of time to have sex with a girl. However, most of you will agree that you must get her comfortable with touching, kissing, and them making out, sex, etc.

I think you will be fine--just escalate more smoothly next time. Another piece of advice: don't go down on girl you don't know--STI's, baby.

Keep being money,

-Robyn
This. I would add that you shouldn't go down on a girl until a) you know her and b) she has gone down on you. Why reward her without her putting in any work? I think you're on the right lines, OP, just make out/ grope/ rub yourself against her body before escalating to oral.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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