"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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First "real" date with girl (question)

thejollywag

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I recently got out of a serious, long-term relationship. While I'm not quite over it, I feel pretty good about things. For the first month or so after the breakup, I dated rather frantically (had to get over the ex, you know). I went out with ten or so pleasant enough women, had sex with a couple of them, but didn't really feel a connection with any of them.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago, I met a girl about my age (I'm 27, she's 25). I bought her a beer and we had a nice enough conversation for about an hour. She was tall and slim and pretty, and well-spoken, but for whatever reason, I didn't feel like making a move, so I basically told her that she seemed interesting, that we should do it again, and shook her hand. She looked a bit surprised, but said "So I'll call you sometime?" I said "Sure, whatever," and left. I kind of kicked myself as I drove home, but I figured it's okay not to win any time. About a week later, she sent me a text asking if I wanted to do drinks over the next week. I was out of town, so about a week later, after I got home, I called her, got her voicemail, and left a message saying that she should let me take her out on a date on X day." She left a message with me a couple days later, saying she'd love to go out with me, can't do it on X day, but days Y and Z would work. I left another message recommending the day, and sent me a text saying that would work and included her address.

This is quite lengthy, so I apologize. My question is, my MO usually consists of asking a girl out on the initial meet and greet, sending her off with a cheek kiss (to indicate polite romantic interest), and then kissing on the first real date. It's a lame system but it works for me. I didn't kiss this girl on the cheek, so I'm wondering whether I should just go straight for a kiss on this date. I'd like to think the fact that agreed to an explicit date means that she has some interest in me, so I'm tempted to just go for it.

Any thoughts?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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scrouds

Master Don Juan
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Sam has great advice here.

The only thing I will add is to never fear the kiss. When it feels right, go for it. My off the cuff advice is to do it when it "feels" right. But you need to have both experience and confidence to pull that off. That comes with practice. Practice means sometimes you do it right, and sometimes you bomb it out. Either way you learn. So never fear the learning experience.
 
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