"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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First post, seeking advice

Cancerian

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Derek Flint said:
Make women earn your weekend time.

New Years?

I'm sure she already has plans, but she has done nothing at this point to earn your time on such a special night.

Unless I'm already banging a chick, there is no way she gets my weekend time or especially a night like NYE
Part of me thinks that I should have waited until after NYE to ask her out.


You're overanalyzing. Reading waaaay too much into her actions and words.
Thats what I thought.

It also sounds like you've got a case of one-itis for this woman as well.
Not exactly. I do like her quite a bit, but not enough to avoid flirting with and dating other women. Quite honestly, even if I manage to date this woman, I would be surprised if a LTR happens. If I'm lucky, neither one of these chicks will be looking for a commitment right away...:up:

Start dating/bangin other women. If you don't, you'll focus too much on this one woman, and you'll come off as needy and creepy to her.
Which is why she'll know of the goodtimes I'm having without her. I flirt with her, but I have asked her out only once, and have only attempted to call once since then. Also, she flirts with me quite a bit herself.

Regardless, I would forget about dating a woman at work, regardless of how much "pull" you have at the job.

No woman is worth losing your job over, and if you make her feel uncomfortable, she might file a suit against your company and you'll be gone in a flash, no matter how valuable you are to the company and no matter if you're right.
When I asked her out, I wasn't aware of any rules against dating co-workers. I never read those rule books they give you when you start a job. I have her number, and I'm probably going to be working elsewhere sometime in January.

As far as her filing a suit...she isn't the type.

The fact that she told you she had plans, and told a co-worker that there is company policy against dating co-workers showed her lack of interest, and she didn't return your call.

3 strikes and you're out.

She is speaking loud and clear, but you ain't hearing it.

It was her way of saying "Thanks, but no thanks"

Women don't have the balls to directly reject someone, especially co-workers, so they dance around the issue.

Not to mention, you are putting her in a difficult position where you are asking her to risk her job in order to go on a date with you.

There are millions of hot women out there. Get out there and meet them and seduce them.
I know that the "thanks but no thanks" scenario is a possibility. Actually, she mentioned having plans for either Friday or Saturday (depending on which night her friends wanted to go out), before I asked her out. I still think that she would have told her co-worker exactly how she felt about the situation. I'll see what happens. For now, the ball is in her court, and I'll guage how she is towards me this week. If I go into work and find out that she was laid off, I'll wait a couple of days and call her. Meanwhile, I'll try to make plans with this other woman that I've been flirting with.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Derek Flint

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"She isn't the type..."

Don't assume anything, especially when it comes to money, and especially with someone you don't know that well.

I'd wait until after you have left this job before proceeding with her, and not just for the reason above.
 

Cancerian

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Cod3r said:
Definitely sounds like the beginnings of one-itis...

Do something better with your time, also someone made an important point. You want to spend NYE with her ?? That's ludacrious, not only to me, but also to the woman...

She's got to be thinking, "wat kind of shmuck would spend NYE with me ?". Girls like to be your second, third, fourth priority... NYE is to be spent with someone special or friends, I would never spend such time with anyone I was dating less than 6 months...


-Cod3r
Well I haven't asked her about NYE! It was just a thought.

I also forget how people feel about certain "holidays". They are just regular days to me, except that I don't have to go to work.
 

Cancerian

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Derek Flint said:
Yep, and that's where that "creepy" vibe kicks in.

She starts to wonder, what kind of guy she has never even kissed or been out on a date with wants to spend NYE with her, and doesn't he have friends/other girls or plans on that night?

Smells of desperation and creepyness.
I know people who asked women out for NYE and have scored. Normally I would just let my kids stay up to watch the ball drop, but just today my ex and I agreed that she could have the kids on NYE, thus leaving me without plans at the moment.
 

Cancerian

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Derek Flint said:
"She isn't the type..."

Don't assume anything, especially when it comes to money, and especially with someone you don't know that well.

I'd wait until after you have left this job before proceeding with her, and not just for the reason above.
Thats the likely scenario. In the meantime, I'll just go out and meet more women.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Cancerian

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Update, here is how today went:

She didn't get laid off (yet), since she is still there. I went about my work, feeling tired as h3ll today. We talked in passing, she laughed a few times, nothing that I would consider to be a big deal.

Towards the end, I was getting ready to leave, and this much older woman was like "Where is that kid? He can help us with these boxes". The woman I've been talking about laughs and says "Did you hear that? She called you a kid!" I was like "Kid!?!?" She said something I can't exactly remember that was basically "defending" me. A few minutes later, I'm holding a heavy box while they are talking (and in my way). I say "pardon me" and the older woman didn't hear me or just ignored me. The chick tells the older woman that I'm waiting with a box, and to move. She then jokes a bit and says "Yeah, develop those muscles!" Then she playfully squeezed my bicep (kino on her part?).

I then leave and give the female co-worker/friend a ride home, and on the way she tells me that the chick stopped by her place over the weekend and they were talking about me a little bit (you know how women like to talk!). I guess the chick was saying that she felt bad for not giving me an answer about going out, and that she missed my call, and that she's been busy (with the move and what not). She was saying that "it felt good" (meaning that I asked her out and flirt with her-sunshine girl behavior?). It seems like she is still debating it because of the work-rules-thing.

I still plan on meeting more women in the meantime, and will wait to ask her out again. If and when I do, it will be the last time, though I will keep in touch for a bit, since maybe someday we can at least hook up for sex.
 
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