First Post, coupled with a great new girl!

[100cagefighter]

Ok, I joined this board so I could (hopefully) get some good down to earth advice about women. I have no desire to pick up 'a lot' of women, because I am quite happy with my current situation. I don't pick up a lot of women, nor do I have the desire to. I am happy with everything about my life, I would just like to meet some quality women who can enhance certain aspects of my life.

To start off I did meet one, ironically through the internet. She goes to the same college I go to and is a cheerleader. We talked over the 'net a couple of times to start off, she liked my advice and the way I made her feel (she said so) and she does have a boyfriend who she says "she knows she needs to break up with." Well, I have made no romantic attempts to this point, keeping it on somewhat of a friendship level, as I like her a lot, but I would rather be friends than nothing at all, although I am romantically interested in her. She decided about a week ago that we should talk on the phone, so we did for about 4 hours. It was one of the greatest conversations that I have ever had with a woman.

About 2 days later she asked me to meet her somewhere because she wanted to meet me in person. So I did, and she was a '10' totally gorgeous, so not only is she great personality wise, but also looks wise. I rode in her car with her and she commented on my physique ( I am an athlete) and that I should be a cheerleader with her and it would be fun (she is a cheerleader at school). Before I got out of the car and we went on our ways she said we should get together and hang out sometime. Now I feel like I'd really like to have a relationship with her.

The problem is that was on Thursday (May 1) and now it is May 6 and we haven't talked again. So I am wondering if she dropped the idea for some reason (her 'boyfriend' comes to mind) or if she may be waiting for me to do something. Maybe I'm being too impatient?

What do you all think? Should I pursue or not? Where do you think I stand? Any opinions would be appreciated.

 

[100cagefighter]

TTT!

Come on, I know it's long, but let me know what you think??

 

[Slickster]

Okay...

1. DO NOT become a cheerleader with her! That is not only dumb as far as the relationship goes but its gay too.

2. She has a boyfriend. If she wants to hang with you and things seem to be heading in a romantic direction what does this tell you about her? She's flaky as a box of cereal. This is not a good personality trait. Sorry bro. If she loses the boyfriend fine. But you shouldn't be getting your hopes up cuz you may be being placed in the friendzone or the back burner. Two places you don't want to be.

3. You've seen her once and you already have ONEITIS!

4. You haven't spoke to her for a while. Then thats probably the best thing you have going for you right now.


Personally I don't think you should pursue her for the above reason #2. You are not handling this very DJ- like at all. Give your head a shake bro. If you want her then get your sh*t together first.

 

[echo1212]

----------------------

OK-since you are a newbie here I'll be gentle, but you screwed up in so many ways and you are the classic afc.

1. You went after a girl with a boyfriend when there are so many single women out there, then you compounded your mistake by settling into the friendship zone, listening to her problems with her bf and what not.--Wrong.
2. Then you talked to the girl for 4 hours on the phone, again, wrong. Talk her up a bit, set up a date. Move on.
3. Next, she asked you to be a cheerleader and you actually went along with the idea??? OMG This girl has already put you into the friends zone, you just dont know it. Any girl that would talk to a guy about becoming a "cheerleader", doesnt think of you in any way romantic. You should have totally been ****y funny when she made that suggestion. Something like "I dont think thats really my style, but how about you come over to my place in your little cheerleader outfit and show me some of your moves". Cmon, cheerleading? Women dont respect that or just think your gay.
5. You put her on a pedastal by calling her a "10"-and by doig so Im sure you acted "nice" around her. No woman that I know of is a ten lookwise, and I doubt very seriously if she is as pretty as ohhhhh, denise richards or someone-who I consider about a 9. Girls like that have been treated like gold and fawned over there entire lives, you need to stand out, be different. Be a gentleman, but be ****y funny and neg hit her.

Call her up once, set up a date is she is interested, and be ****y funny, be a man, and dont fawn all over her.

 

[100cagefighter]

Ok, I have a few questions, then.

What exactly is oneitis?

My best friend said I may have fallen in the friendship zone, and if I did, I did, there is nothing I can do about it.

As far as her being a 10, she is in my book, whether she is by anyone else's account I do not know, to me it is merely an opinion. But, as my friends said, she is SLAMMIN'.

I am definitely NOT planning on being a cheerleader with her (ironically her boyfriend IS). In fact I told her this when we talked. I almost said something like what you recommended, I said it wasn't my thing, I prefer sports where you can win because I am competitive. Also she is a virginesque type of girl, so I don't know how asking her to put on he outfit and showing me some moves would have worked out. But then, one of my friends said "So is Britney Spears."

I'm a pretty busy person because I want to go to the Pan Am Games in Brazilian Jiu-jitsu and Judo next year. I have no desire to be a cheerleader, but the amount of time I spend on my sports lends me little time for pursuing girls.

I am not a womanizer, but I don't know how to get my '**** together' on this. I consider myself reasonably attractive and I have an excellent body to my advantage. I definitely like this girl because she is very different from a lot of women I have ever met.

 

[Slickster]

ONEITIS: An affliction suffered by many AFC's.

Symptoms: Obsessive behaviour towards ONE chick in particular.
All other women cease to exist. All focus is directed on her and only her.

Don't worry man. Everyone has had it. And with a little treatment it will go away.

The fact that her boyfriend is a cheer leader is probably the reason she knows she has to get rid of him. How can you respect a male cheerleader?

Getting your sh*t together? Have you read the DJ Bible? Thats a start.

Good luck at the Pan Am Games. Cool

 

[100cagefighter]

Well, I don't think I have oneitis, I definitely like this girl, but I am also not obsessed with her, although it may sound that way. If I was obsessed I would have called her by now.

One other thing is SHE initiated everything, I just kind of sat back and enjoyed the ride.

No, I have not read the DJ bible. I have read only a few articles on this site.

Any advice would be appreciated, though.

What I'm really asking is this, I guess, if I want to take this to the next level, what should I do and what should I not do?

 

[Slickster]

You're looking for the easy route.

You haven't started reading the Bible. Highly recommended. I suggest reading "Be a Man" and "Kill that Desperation" both written by a guy named Pook. Most of everything in the Bible is good advice but those two posts are a great place to start.

Pook is a very inspirational writer.

To get anywhere with this chick you are going to have to make it clear that you are not interested in being just friends. Don't tell her that.

You have to show her through your actions. Ask for her number, make a short phone call and make a date. Make sure the date is focused on fun (get out and DO something, no movies or dinner yet). No pressures of relationships or anything serious. Then comes the Kiss test. Go for a kiss at the right time. It will tell volumes about her Interest in you. Any rejection on her part should be handled gracefully by you. Don't let her know that it bothers you at all. Smile and say thanks for the fun and walk away.

Remember she has a boyfriend so if she's showing interest in you then she better be getting rid of him pronto. If she doesn't then get the hell out.

 

[Slickster]

Getting her number:

"I've enjoyed talking with you. Why don't you give me your # and we can chat sometime."

(Secret is you're not asking, you're telling her to give you the #)


Making the date:

Have something fun in mind. Don't ask. Tell her you're planning on doing _______ on such and such a time, and if she wants to come along then great. If she says no or makes any excuses without offering a different time or option then she's not interested. Move on gracefully.

Thats a start.

Things you shouldn't do:

1. Don't act needy
2. No compliments about her looks
3. Don't let her think that she's your only option.
4. Don't act jealous about her boyfriend.


Things you should do:

Be the most happy go lucky, positive, spontaneous, fun-lovin, exciting, interesting, passionate, guy you can be.

 

[100cagefighter]

Well, I already have her number (she asked me if I wanted it when she called me). I only called her once, returning a call she gave me while I was at work, which was the time she suggested we meet. At the end of the meeting she stated that we should get together sometime and hang out, but never made a specific date, I just said sure, we should, it'll be fun. -Just trying to clarify things.

Bad part is, I had a tournament this weekend and I broke my nose, so I had to have it straightened and I currently have a splint on it, which comes off on Friday (hopefully the swelling is down, too) I don't want her to see me like this, so I don't want to call her just yet.

My friend ( who gets a lot of 10s) told me to tell her that I'm meeting some friends out, and see if she wants to meet up with us. He says that would be a good way to go, then see what happens from there.

I've wondered myself whether she really wants to get rid of he boyfriend as much as she says she does.

I hope this clears up some stuff. Thanks for the advice.

 

[Slickster]

By the way I edited my last post so hopefully you'll check that out.

Your buddies idea about going out with friends isn't very good. It still puts you in friend zone. She has to believe you are interested in her romantically.

Its good that you have this martial arts thing going for you. Tell her about your passion. Chicks love that sh*t. If she believes that you are a man with a passion who doesn't need a woman around to make himself complete. Well she'll eat that up.

I wouldn't worry about your nose either. If I were you I'd tell her all about it. Show her that it doesn't bother you at all. It shows confidence. She'll probably want to see it. She'll eat that up too

You might be right about her and her boyfriend. You will be the only one able to gauge that. Just act like you don't really give a damn. You're going to be having a great time with or without her.
The time you're spending together is all about fun. No relationship stuff comes up ever. If she wants a relationship with you then she has to bring it up. If you ever feel like she is stringing you along or keeping you on the backburner cuz she has a boyfriend then just distance yourself from her. Stop calling etc. When you do talk to her again. Well you've been having the best time of your life. Chances are if she's on the fence with this other guy then she'll be all over you.

 

[100cagefighter]

Thanks for the advice, man, I appreciate it. Where can i find this Dj Bible?


Any other advice you have would be appreciated, too.

 

[Slickster]

No problem bro.

There are many here who can give better advice than that. I think I covered the basics though.

The DJ bible link should be right at the top of the page to the right of the girl in the blue skirt.

Watch out though it can be very addictive reading.

Remember its not just about reading the Bible but you have to get out there and practice what you've learned.

Good luck

 

[100cagefighter]

Any other advice?

 

[( . )( . )]

yeah read that stuff

 

[WatchMeWalk]

and do her up the butt.

 

[A1SteakSauce]

not real DJ advice but

I can't help thinking she wants you to replace the curent BF and that's why she mentioned being a cheerleader. So while it does seem gay to us guys, maybe it is her idea of how her BF ought to be. I'm not saying you're gonna do it, Brazilian Ju-Jitsu sounds far more impressive to me, but I wouldn't neg hit on that one or do any c&f as they call it. I might even let it linger as a distance possibility in case it's part of her fantasy. Women are weird.

I also have noticed that 10s always pursue their man they don't let men pursue them. So it seems good to me that she went after you. 10s are insecure that it's all about their looks but you had an internet / phone connection and got lucky. Whatever you said made her want to meet you so that is good.

And of course 10s always have a BF so they check out the alternatives until it's a sure deal and then they make their move. They don't dump a guy first and risk it like normal girls. That is one reason they are a pain in the ass. Their world is different.

So I would just let her keep pursuing you and work hard at it while you don't give it too much effort. THe long convo is the reward if you get what you want from her but not otherwise. But do NOT let her dump anything on you at any time or talk about other guys especially the BF. That is the deadly LJBF zone and stay far away from there. If you play it right you could get a hot cheerleader GF for awhile

A1

 

[PortugueseMeatball]

Sir,


You are pathetic.

So you don't want "a lot" of girls in your life. That's fine, really it is. Few guys know what they want. I see no reason to change that.

But what you're doing about this girl here is pathetic.

So she has a boyfriend "she knows needs to break up with". Fine, that's her problem (don't let her know that, but understand this... keep your yap shut). So she "knows" she needs to break up with him; that's not to say that she will! Young women (and men also) are reputed for doing different from what they say. They say the "pollitical correct" so they're not viewed by others as socially unfit; but when we turn our backs to do something else, they're just as crazy as the next Jane.

Realize this also: you want to be friends with her or do you want to fvck her? You're not fvcking your friends are you? I hope not.

Also, you say you've not made any romantic advance on her so far. Well, I've news for ya: you don't stand a chance. You're in her "just friends" file, which means: "you'll never, fvcking ever get a itsy-bitsy, minute, infinitesimal chance of bonking me or otherwise get physically intimate, unless I'm seriously drunk and unable to use my judgment."

"What to do? What to do?!" you ask?

First, start reading the DJ bible in this site. It's not a "lay guide" or the solution for your problems; its sole purpose is to upon up your eyes for the mistakes you (and everyone else who once arrived as this site) did.

Second, realize you've blown it with this girl by playing shrink with her. Did you get payed by the our?! I don't think so. Am I being too stern? I have too; I've been there, done that, had to grow a thick skin around my heart to protect it.

The only relationship you'll have with this girl is her spilling out her guts about her boyfriend, how she "ought to break up with him", you telling her that she really should, her getting back to him over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, him fvcking her again and again and again and again and again and again, him leaving her time and again, time and again, time and again, her crying her about it to you, feeling sorry for herself, and going back to him because deep inside she believes that she can change him for the better, and life once more closes the circle and everything repeats. And you my friend, don't get a go in the merry-go-round... While she's getting bonked by him, you'll have your lonely hand on fridays and saturday nights, running around between your computer keyboard and your prick, while she's getting the real deal from real jerks.

YOU WANT TO BECOME A CHEERLEADER?! Next thing you know, she'll want you to use a tutu, get breast implants and fix you up with the gay friend for her boyfriend. WAKE THE FVCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sir, you are pathetic.

But you need no longer to be. You will change NOW! for the better.

 

[PortugueseMeatball]

100cagefighter

sorry for being too stern, but you really need a wake-up call.


The "DJ bible" is here: http://sucs.org/~nicholas/djb/index.php

 

[Charm]

Read the bible before you ask any more questions. It will answer many you haven't even asked yet.