Well, I went on a 'first date' with a girl for the first time since taking advice from this forum, and generally reframing myself and wow, what a difference it made.
It really is about not caring at all.
I don't even think the techniques taught on here in themselves are what works..
When you find yourself not caring about the outcomes of going out with women, C&F happens naturally, passing women's tests comes naturally, and overall, life is easier.
Went out with a girl I met on the internets, for lunch. I posted about our C&F conversation and how I established that she was already down a few points, and if she wanted an A, she'd better bring it to the table.
Well, we go out for dinner and I'm being somewhat aloof, a little disconnected, and she absolutely refuses to let me pay, because she 'owes me' lol. I realized something that I haven't paid attention to for a long time. It seems to get pushed to the side when I'm seeking a 'real' LTR. I am genuinely a very funny person. My friends know that, girls that I know that I would never date know that, but women that I go out with for the intentions of dating, that sense of humor is lost somewhere along the way. Probably somewhere between me kissing her ass and trying not to offend.
After dinner, we walked around for a bit (We were at an outdoor mall, and I started kino-ing her, playfully pushing / small of back / etc.) and it was all going well.
Well, I walk her back to her car, feeling pretty good, go in for the k-close, she went for it....then I walked back to my car...I was halfway home and she was already calling me telling me what an awesome time she had and can't wait to do it again.
Haven't set up a second date yet, because I am legitimately busy right now...moreso than I've been in a long time. Moving into a new house, taking care of school paperwork, golfing more often, a bunch of 'me' stuff....
This woman probably isn't LTR material, we didn't have a ton of stuff in common, but for the first 27 years of my life I've made the mistake of only looking for an LTR and missing the fun that leads up to the LTR...without realizing that I need to let the fun happen first, and the LTR will follow. I'm pretty sure that to women I'm pursuing, up to this point in time, I've came across as boring and serious because I go into interview mode. Now that I see what happens when I just let things happen, it's time for me to keep stepping up my game.
It really is about not caring at all.
I don't even think the techniques taught on here in themselves are what works..
When you find yourself not caring about the outcomes of going out with women, C&F happens naturally, passing women's tests comes naturally, and overall, life is easier.
Went out with a girl I met on the internets, for lunch. I posted about our C&F conversation and how I established that she was already down a few points, and if she wanted an A, she'd better bring it to the table.
Well, we go out for dinner and I'm being somewhat aloof, a little disconnected, and she absolutely refuses to let me pay, because she 'owes me' lol. I realized something that I haven't paid attention to for a long time. It seems to get pushed to the side when I'm seeking a 'real' LTR. I am genuinely a very funny person. My friends know that, girls that I know that I would never date know that, but women that I go out with for the intentions of dating, that sense of humor is lost somewhere along the way. Probably somewhere between me kissing her ass and trying not to offend.
After dinner, we walked around for a bit (We were at an outdoor mall, and I started kino-ing her, playfully pushing / small of back / etc.) and it was all going well.
Well, I walk her back to her car, feeling pretty good, go in for the k-close, she went for it....then I walked back to my car...I was halfway home and she was already calling me telling me what an awesome time she had and can't wait to do it again.
Haven't set up a second date yet, because I am legitimately busy right now...moreso than I've been in a long time. Moving into a new house, taking care of school paperwork, golfing more often, a bunch of 'me' stuff....
This woman probably isn't LTR material, we didn't have a ton of stuff in common, but for the first 27 years of my life I've made the mistake of only looking for an LTR and missing the fun that leads up to the LTR...without realizing that I need to let the fun happen first, and the LTR will follow. I'm pretty sure that to women I'm pursuing, up to this point in time, I've came across as boring and serious because I go into interview mode. Now that I see what happens when I just let things happen, it's time for me to keep stepping up my game.