"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

First dates

flowtheory

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,672
Reaction score
1,406
Age
37
Location
So Cal
When you guys go on first dates and grab drinks, do you generally foot the whole bill? Or split?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Billtx49

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
5,989
Reaction score
5,410
Location
DFW
Depends on your preferences if its a proper first date. If I invite, I pay, but I’m generous and dgaf. If you ever want to probe for a split though, when ordering the first set tell her I’ll get the first round, you get the next with a grin and watch the look on her face…
 
Last edited:

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,150
Reaction score
5,057
Age
35
Location
Eye of the storm
Unless she goes first I pay first, if it doesn't become too expensive (drinks are expensive as fvck in Norway compared to almost anywhere), in that case I split. If I don't like her I split for sure.

If pay for the first date I consider it common courtesy to pay next time. All in all it has to be equal.

If there is no second date and I paid, well, sh!t happens. I'm not so poor that I really suffer from that. Chances must be taken regardless in dating.

I will never pay if she demands or expects it, that's rude.
 

MoreThanSmooth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Messages
1,019
Reaction score
791
Age
35
I split pretty much every time.

1. If she's looking for a free drink/meal and doesn't care about you at all, it will immediately be obvious before the date starts and you won't waste your time.
2. It establishes that you're equals.
3. It means you're not "paying" for her time, so she doesn't start seeing you as a magpie that has to bring her presents just to spend time with her.
4. I've had girls actually be turned off by me paying because they think it shows a lack of assertion (lol). Or because they think it's chauvinistic and not feminist to do that (lol). Or they get awkward because they actually wanted to go halves...
 

flowtheory

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,672
Reaction score
1,406
Age
37
Location
So Cal
I’ve usually been the one to always pay. Especially in my blue pilled days. I’ve tried a few different tactics. But the girl always seems to expect me to pick up the tab (which can not always be the easiest as I don’t have a lot of spending money bewteen paydays). Plus bills can add up if you go on 3-5 dates a week.

So, Along with my non confirming of dates this week, I will be implementing the ‘split bills’ when I do drinks with the women.. I usually go for a walk on first dates now just to avoid bills.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

guru1000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
5,299
Reaction score
4,338
I’ve usually been the one to always pay. Especially in my blue pilled days. I’ve tried a few different tactics. But the girl always seems to expect me to pick up the tab (which can not always be the easiest as I don’t have a lot of spending money bewteen paydays). Plus bills can add up if you go on 3-5 dates a week.

So, Along with my non confirming of dates this week, I will be implementing the ‘split bills’ when I do drinks with the women.. I usually go for a walk on first dates now just to avoid bills.
Ya, ask her to open the car door, the bar door, and put on your jacket for you as well. Tell her that she can defer to you 50% of the time, and you will defer to her 50% like a gay couple. Tell her, you will do 50% of the cooking and 50% of the cleaning while you wear a tight apron, and that you can only have sex two weeks out of the month because one week she'll bleed and the other week you'll bleed.

50%-50% , eh?
 

feelmybicep

New Member
Joined
Nov 18, 2017
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
Always split. I would feel as if she's making me a favor by being with me if I pay.
 

flowtheory

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,672
Reaction score
1,406
Age
37
Location
So Cal
Ya, ask her to open the car door, the bar door, and put on your jacket for you as well. Tell her that she can defer to you 50% of the time, and you will defer to her 50% like a gay couple. Tell her, you will do 50% of the cooking and 50% of the cleaning while you wear a tight apron, and that you can only have sex two weeks out of the month because one week she'll bleed and the other week you'll bleed.

50%-50% , eh?
Hahah.. easy.
I’m just curious what most do here. And as much as I know it’s best for the guy to grab the bill concerning drinks and outings, it’s not completely viable to do when money isn’t in abundance at the given time. If each drink tab comes out to 30 dollars on a date, and you have 2-6 dates in one week.. that can add up fast.

And I’m simply curious to see how the veterans handle the bill protocol when seeing a woman time and time again.

I know always picking the bill up too and doing all the leg work would be a poor way to screen her interest too.
 

R.U.G.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
1,797
Reaction score
1,218
If I like the woman, I pay. If I couldn't care less, split. Could be my age though. This is NYC, so the women here are stuck up and entitled to the nth degree. It's crazy. I hear it's a lot better in Dallas.
 
Top