first dates do's and dont's

[pete101]

so i met this facebook HB in the end but she didn't meet me where we were suppose to and was late.. (i gave her grief about it though..) and had already bought herself a drink at the place i was planning to take her from where we were meeting. so i didn't get to make the first impression i wanted.

i dont really know why but i didn't get a good vibe from her.. closed off body language crossed arms etc.. i guess maybe she just didn't like the look of me compared to my pics.

anyway i tried my best stuff but wasn't really C+F enough.. did a few neg hits and a bit of kino but not really much response from her apart from laughing.

is it bad to prearrange the next meeting towards the end of the date?

towards the end it was going better but still felt like i needed to get to know her better and her likewise with me as it was first time meeting a stranger.

i suggested we meet sometime towards the end of the week but i said i would call.. i really should have told her to contact me if she was interested?

i feel like i made the wrong move by trying to prearrange the next date whereas i should have left her wondering whether i'd call her again after today.. now she knows im interested for def i guess the games over?

my plan is not to call her when i said i would this weekend and just leave it for a few days to see..

 

[DonGorgon]

if you know the date failed , learn what you did wrong and move on...

 

[pete101]

if you know the date failed , learn what you did wrong and move on...

well what did i do wrong?

im not sure what i do right and wrong..

i tried to make the arrangements for the next date in mind to flake on her.. but i realise now maybe it woulda been better to just have left it and make her wonder.

 

[Bible_Belt]

i should have left her wondering whether i'd call her again after today.. now she knows im interested for def i guess the games over?

Yes, always keep her wondering. But you live and learn. Next time you won't make the same mistake. I would not call this girl until she contacts you.


had already bought herself a drink at the place i was planning to take her from where we were meeting. so i didn't get to make the first impression i wanted.

This is not a job interview. Stop trying so hard. That's a red flag. Buying a drink for a girl you have not seen yet is like showing up at her door with flowers. All you should really care about is having a fun time for yourself. Ironically, that will make the best kind of impression on her.

 

[pete101]

i should have left her wondering whether i'd call her again after today.. now she knows im interested for def i guess the games over?

Yes, always keep her wondering. But you live and learn. Next time you won't make the same mistake. I would not call this girl until she contacts you.


had already bought herself a drink at the place i was planning to take her from where we were meeting. so i didn't get to make the first impression i wanted.

This is not a job interview. Stop trying so hard. That's a red flag. Buying a drink for a girl you have not seen yet is like showing up at her door with flowers. All you should really care about is having a fun time for yourself. Ironically, that will make the best kind of impression on her.

i told her i'd call her on saturday so obviously i probably shouldn't and flake a bit and keep her guessing.

is responding on facebook out of the question also?

 

[tick37]

Dude, stop! Don't pursue her anymore. Start reading and work on yourself because you're not ready for her or anyone else. Read the books offered on this site (i.e. Book of Pook and the DJ Bible). Second, try to get your hands on a book called "The Dating Wizard". You need to change first.

 

[tick37]

If you don't listen to me, you will be stuck in the vicious cycle of wanting and impatiently waiting. Soon you'll be down a dead end street of depression. You're living life as a pawn. Learn to treat yourself as the king, bro.

 

[ezily]

Yeah tick is right. You need to work on yourself some. But I wouldn't give up on this girl in the meantime. Don't call her this weekend and for the love of God DON'T SEND A FACEBOOK MESSAGE. If she sends you one then it's OK to reply. But do not send one. I repeat do not send one. It is probably the most AFC lame thing I can think of doing. Trust me.

But yeah, don't call this weekend. Wait until maybe mid next week. Also, don't contact her at all. No texts, no nothing. Let her contact you. I'd say call Monday but no later than Tuesday. Don't make her wait too long.

I don't think you blew it. She was perhaps nervous about meeting someone in person whom she met online. So don't take all this stuff personally.

also, you need to change your mindset a little. You have oneitis I fear. You really don't want to be waiting impatiently for every move you or her make. Be confident and secure with yourself. Women like that. and that's how DJs act.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

Definitely sounds like oneitis. I seem to keep falling into that, too. I took an extended break from pick up to work on inner game and thought I had it down pretty solid only to find myself falling back into my old AFC ways once I found somebody I liked. I did some horribly AFC shìt on Saturday that almost cost me my job.

So yeah, I'd recommend just taking a break and working on your inner game for awhile. The same women will still be there when you're done. And you might not even want them then when you realize you can do better.

 

[sexy_kuta]

so i met this facebook HB in the end but she didn't meet me where we were suppose to and was late.. (i gave her grief about it though..) and had already bought herself a drink at the place i was planning to take her from where we were meeting. so i didn't get to make the first impression i wanted.

i dont really know why but i didn't get a good vibe from her.. closed off body language crossed arms etc.. i guess maybe she just didn't like the look of me compared to my pics.

anyway i tried my best stuff but wasn't really C+F enough.. did a few neg hits and a bit of kino but not really much response from her apart from laughing.

is it bad to prearrange the next meeting towards the end of the date?

towards the end it was going better but still felt like i needed to get to know her better and her likewise with me as it was first time meeting a stranger.

i suggested we meet sometime towards the end of the week but i said i would call.. i really should have told her to contact me if she was interested?

i feel like i made the wrong move by trying to prearrange the next date whereas i should have left her wondering whether i'd call her again after today.. now she knows im interested for def i guess the games over?

my plan is not to call her when i said i would this weekend and just leave it for a few days to see..

you shouldnt have gave her grief on first impression.

you didnt do much wrong or right,
call her in a few days, be like hows it going, lets get together,
dont talk about last date, its done, in the past

start again, if shes boring, just leave, screw waitin for the date to end, just leave. i hate shy b1tches or *****es who got no personality
more fish in the pond

 

[nightcrawler]

I've never been on a date ( )

but I always got the impression that on a date you should simply be yourself...shouldn't be too hard.

On another note, I think I got a date with a girl tomorrow. I'm not sure if its a date or not since she only wants a friend, but perhaps it could turn into a date?

Anyways I'm taking her bowling...good idea?

 

[MacAvoy]

Yeah tick is right. You need to work on yourself some. But I wouldn't give up on this girl in the meantime. Don't call her this weekend and for the love of God DON'T SEND A FACEBOOK MESSAGE. If she sends you one then it's OK to reply. But do not send one. I repeat do not send one. It is probably the most AFC lame thing I can think of doing. Trust me.

But yeah, don't call this weekend. Wait until maybe mid next week. Also, don't contact her at all. No texts, no nothing. Let her contact you. I'd say call Monday but no later than Tuesday. Don't make her wait too long.

I don't think you blew it. She was perhaps nervous about meeting someone in person whom she met online. So don't take all this stuff personally.

also, you need to change your mindset a little. You have oneitis I fear. You really don't want to be waiting impatiently for every move you or her make. Be confident and secure with yourself. Women like that. and that's how DJs act.

Perfect advice!

 

[tick37]

Yeah tick is right. You need to work on yourself some. But I wouldn't give up on this girl in the meantime. Don't call her this weekend and for the love of God DON'T SEND A FACEBOOK MESSAGE. If she sends you one then it's OK to reply. But do not send one. I repeat do not send one. It is probably the most AFC lame thing I can think of doing. Trust me.

But yeah, don't call this weekend. Wait until maybe mid next week. Also, don't contact her at all. No texts, no nothing. Let her contact you. I'd say call Monday but no later than Tuesday. Don't make her wait too long.

I don't think you blew it. She was perhaps nervous about meeting someone in person whom she met online. So don't take all this stuff personally.

also, you need to change your mindset a little. You have oneitis I fear. You really don't want to be waiting impatiently for every move you or her make. Be confident and secure with yourself. Women like that. and that's how DJs act.

I think this is great information, but until he figures out why he should do this or that, he'll constantly be posting nagging threads. He's always wondering when to go left or right and when to jump or squat. He needs to study and find out.

 

[pete101]

which books/literature on here would you recommend i should read that would give me advice about how to behave on actual dates?

i think a problem im having with her is that she's new to town and doesn't know many people so i guess is a bit lonley.. the conversation kept switching to her somewhat complaining/confiding in me telling me silly stories and i could see she was enforcing this LJBF thing on me and i didn't know how to steer away the convo from this stuff.. what do you normally say?

i threw in a few things about us kissing and busting her balls a bit about her shoes being ugly to interrupt the LJBF crap im getting sucked into but i think she needs a friend more than a bf so im dealing with a girl who isn't looking despite being single

i tried numerous kino but she just wasn't having any of it..

 

[pete101]

also if you are C+F and she doesn't laugh and responds with a 'yeah yeah whatever.. you wish' not in a rude way but more in a dismissive way.. how do you respond to stuff like this?

 

[tick37]

Well, if you have confidence with women, you'll act natural, but you seem to put yourself beneath women and act in a supplicating manner. It's more about knowing that you are the best thing they could get and acting in that way when you're around women. You're doing them a favor by letting them get a piece of you.

 

[pete101]

Well, if you have confidence with women, you'll act natural, but you seem to put yourself beneath women and act in a supplicating manner. It's more about knowing that you are the best thing they could get and acting in that way when you're around women. You're doing them a favor by letting them get a piece of you.

doesn't that come across as quite arrogant if you act that way and could repel them if she looks at you and thinks that you think too much of yourself?

 

[tick37]

I said "confident" with women. Women are a non issue if you're confident with them. Arrogance is something totally different. It's as if you feel like you're God's gift to women, and you're to good for them. You don't act too good, but you act as if you know you can get a woman at any time and any place. I know I can. They may not always be 8s and up, but I CAN get a woman any time I want.

 

[Nighthawk]

also if you are C+F and she doesn't laugh and responds with a 'yeah yeah whatever.. you wish' not in a rude way but more in a dismissive way.. how do you respond to stuff like this?

NEXT!

 

[pete101]

Yeah tick is right. You need to work on yourself some. But I wouldn't give up on this girl in the meantime. Don't call her this weekend and for the love of God DON'T SEND A FACEBOOK MESSAGE. If she sends you one then it's OK to reply. But do not send one. I repeat do not send one. It is probably the most AFC lame thing I can think of doing. Trust me.

But yeah, don't call this weekend. Wait until maybe mid next week. Also, don't contact her at all. No texts, no nothing. Let her contact you. I'd say call Monday but no later than Tuesday. Don't make her wait too long.

I don't think you blew it. She was perhaps nervous about meeting someone in person whom she met online.

well she did send me a facebook message prior to us meeting but i did not see it till after our date.. i replied, i presume that is a bad move?

no response from her but i didnt ask any questions anyway.. just answered her question in the reply and said some C+F stuff about our meeting that day.

if she doesn't contact me which im not expecting then i guess i could do the flaking thing a bit as she's expecting a call from me this saturday for our supposed meet on sunday. should i just wait till monday and send a text saying sorry i didn't call her on saturday and that i was busy and not forgotten her?