First Date

[Epicwinguy]

I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 15 and kind of gave up on the game until pretty recently.

So today I have a coffee date scheduled with a girl who I never really met but my friend I guess told her about me. Problem is I don't really have a lot of experience except for a little bit from middle school (which we all know is clumsy and not how it should be.)

How should a first coffee date go with a girl? I am 23 and she is 19 if that makes a difference.

 

[Ratiocinative]

Coffee, chat, build rapport. Go for walk, hold hands, build rapport. Go do something fun, grab snacks, laugh, build more rapport, kiss. Take her out for a late dinner, and drinks if you were over 21, build more rapport. Go back to your truck, make out, and escalate from there.

You'll probably screw up since it's your first time, but don't sweat it. Keep practicing, learn to read body language, learn to read personalities and signs of personality disorders. It can be overwhelming at first, but give it time and keep practicing and soon you'll look back and think how easy it really is.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Treat em all the same. Keep this date under an hour. Ask her open ended questions about her. As long as you listen, you'll get follow up opportunities. Let her do all the talking. Eventually she'll make a comment about doing all the talking. This means you're doing everything right. DO NOT TOUCH HER, unless she initiates physical contact.

You can try to go for the kiss close, just a peck. Coffee dates have a high degree of rejection but thats okay. She will think about the kiss attempt for a week after the date, which is the point. Nothing says "I want you" clearer to a woman than direct action.

 

[AttackFormation]

DO NOT TOUCH HER, unless she initiates physical contact.

Huh? what the fvck? this is exactly the opposite of what might be the second most important thing to do other than letting her talk. It's good not just for itself but for finding out where her interest is so you can manage your time.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Huh? what the fvck? this is exactly the opposite of what might be the second most important thing to do other than letting her talk.

No, you're completely wrong. If she wants physical contact, she will find a way to touch you.

 

[AttackFormation]

No, you're completely wrong. If she wants physical contact, she will find a way to touch you.

Theoretical answer: I don't really care what she wants at any given time, because that want can change and I'm there for a purpose - to fvck her. If she doesn't want to yet, I'll make her want to until she does or doesn't. This also contradicts taking charge of not just the interaction, but your life.

Practical answer: If you're supposed to wait for her, why has not doing so and instead being physically proactive worked consistently for not just me but I would guess most guys on here?

 

[EyeBRollin]

I bet any amount of money my close rate is higher. I don't **** up. If your touch her before she's ready, guess what? You're out. It's a poor risk vs. reward. When she initiates contact, the timing for that particular girl is right.

I can tell you're not much of a salesman. You're making the same rookie mistakes AFCs make.

 

[devilkingx2]

\Practical answer: If you're supposed to wait for her, why has not doing so and instead being physically proactive worked consistently for not just me but I would guess most guys on here?

if you ask 10 different guys how they get girls you'll get 10 completely different answers (unless you know 10 guys who are so similar that they're like basically the same guy in different colors)

i'd imagine that not touching a girl until she touches you is one of those techniques where you wait for her to demonstrate high interest, whereas touching her first is a test of her interest

the former means you'll rarely get rejected, but the downside is that you'll only ever bang highly interested girls

the latter means you'll get rejected and have things not work out far more often, but you may end up turning lukewarm girls into bangs in addition to the high interest ones

 

[EyeBRollin]

the latter means you'll get rejected and have things not work out far more often, but you may end up turning lukewarm girls into bangs in addition to the high interest ones

No, it works the other way around. You'll get more lukewarm girls by doing everything right. High interest girls stick around even if you do a lot wrong (like groping a chick you just met 30 minutes ago) because they have high interest.

 

[Konada]

No, it works the other way around. You'll get more lukewarm girls by doing everything right. High interest girls stick around even if you do a lot wrong (like groping a chick you just met 30 minutes ago) because they have high interest.

OP has many problems to fix and one of those as a inexperienced dude is being comfortable with touch. Even if the girl gives him signals, he's probably gonna fvck it up by being a pu$$y and not reciprocate accordingly. Get that out of the way first and he can start thinking about dialing it back.

 

[EyeBRollin]

OP has many problems to fix and one of those as a inexperienced dude is being comfortable with touch. .

Even if that's true, women help you when they like you. Touch is hardly a crucial display of "leading." No chick is going to complain that you didn't initiate touch on the first two dates, especially if you go for the kiss close.

 

[marmel75]

Huh? what the fvck? this is exactly the opposite of what might be the second most important thing to do other than letting her talk. It's good not just for itself but for finding out where her interest is so you can manage your time.

Once again, a person not understanding context. This guy has next to zero experience with women, he doesn't have the necessary skills, smoothness or confidence to come anywhere close to pulling this off and making it look natural. That takes time to get down properly over many dates.

At this juncture he just needs to focus on the ultra basic things in a date, his head likely is already swimming and he will likely be nervous as well.