"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
first date
- Thread starter nosmirk
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
what to talk about ???
ffs your going to a concert ,talk about the guys playing , talk about what your last concert was , talk about lots of things.... read the dj bible....
talk about anything.. well not anything but just start a convo and see if she gets interested, if she doesn't seem interested it's probably because your being defensive/nervousnosmirk said:
if you do find yourself nervous just take a deep breath - LOOK AT HER and ask her what she's thinking about
Kings_royalty
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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Ask her about her day and 'listen' to what she says. You can pick anything she says and turn it nto a fun topic.
nvictor
Senior Don Juan
"Your hair makes you look like a powerpuff girl" Now that's making fun of her."How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.