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First date went well. Call vs text

BJP1991

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Had a good first date last night. Hit a couple bars on the same street near my place. Played pool, couple beers. Good convo and her initiating touching a few times throughout. She wasn’t ready to come back to my place to play pool there (the bar was busy at the pool tables and my building had one). I tried sort of a two steps forward, one step back approach, but I didn’t push much further than that. It was a first date from OLD, so probably just some sort of ASD on her part - no big deal.

Made out pretty heavily leaving the bar, then I drove her back to her car. Didn’t kiss again when she got out, but overall everything else was indication of a good first date.

Recently with other women, I’ve had some moderate success with calling them after a first date, vs texting them. Some women seem more reciprocative of it, some not so much (figure those ones have lower interest).

When would you initiate again for a next date and would you go for a call if the first date went well with good kino and heavy making out?
 

backseatjuan

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When you would call that girl after good first date, and would you call or text her so that she responds?

Call her or text her Wednesday, if by that type she don't contact you. Can't make it this time around, etc, means she's playing pool with another dude. Get several of dates like these going with different women so you wouldn't ask these questions and instead be busy. Now you have to wait, instead of being busy. The btch should contact you, but you did validate her on your date, so maybe not. If she does like you she would go for second date without bs.
 

BJP1991

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When you would call that girl after good first date, and would you call or text her so that she responds?

Call her or text her Wednesday, if by that type she don't contact you. Can't make it this time around, etc, means she's playing pool with another dude. Get several of dates like these going with different women so you wouldn't ask these questions and instead be busy. Now you have to wait, instead of being busy. The btch should contact you, but you did validate her on your date, so maybe not. If she does like you she would go for second date without bs.
See, I’ve had mixed results with waiting that long (5 days). I feel like sometimes it’s enough for a girl to think you are gameplaying or they just lose interest, or more likely went on 2-3 other dates with 2-3 other dudes by that point. However, this does not mean I would ever go texting them next day or, worse, the same night. That was early BJP1991 game back in college and it’s totally nonsensical if I know I AM the prize/grand catch.

Obviously the ideal situation is her hitting me up after the date, but I have found that sometimes a good feminine-woman won’t do that, even if she had an awesome time on the date. For example, 2-3 plates I had last winter did exactly that. We would either makeout heavily on the date, or even result in having sex the first date. Then they wouldn’t initiate contact for a few days and when I reach out to them, they were more than happy to accept and make plans for a next date.

I suppose the kiss is a good indicator. When I went for it, she smiled and kissed me passionately, pulling my body into hers the whole time.

In the past, I used to struggle with over-liking a girl early on, and holding back after a good first date helped me keep frame and stop over-liking her so much. I’ve come along way in that respect, but still always looking to improve my game.
 

BJP1991

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Also, by kissing her you’re saying I validated her?

I do fall into the category of “go for a first date kiss”, as those dates usually have a higher percentage of landing a second date, vs when I don’t go for the kiss.

I know AMS says never do it, and I think with a specific type of woman I agree (I.e. status-chasing women or a true hb9-10). I like AMS’s stuff, but I like to weigh all strategies into consideration (I.e. a little AMS, a little CW, a little Tripp, a little Todd V, etc). I think it’s all about building up your own “game”, and they all offer good tools to guide a man
 
U

user43770

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I think you're overthinking it a bit. It sounds like you both had a fun time, and the kiss means she's into you. A call or text would be fine.

I typically send a text after a day or two, but that's just personal preference really. Though I have met a bunch of chicks that prefer to text early on.
 

biggoal

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The HB7 I met on OLD and went out with today texted me about 3 hours after our date thanking me for lunch. I was going to text her first, tonight.
 

BJP1991

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The HB7 I met on OLD and went out with today texted me about 3 hours after our date thanking me for lunch. I was going to text her first, tonight.
Why are you taking women to lunch dates?
 

biggoal

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Why are you taking women to lunch dates?
We were going to do the morning hiking but couldn't due to all the standing water and that. So we walked around a bit and then went to lunch.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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When would you initiate again for a next date and would you go for a call if the first date went well with good kino and heavy making out?
I am old school. Prior to the #metoo era of false accusations, I would never text or call after smash. Now, I do and I screenshot the happy text msg after I crush.

The **** is a good date? Went well?

Went well means I beat it rotten. Worst case scenario, she swallowed.

You are over thinking about it. Smash. Her grace period is 3 outings max. Smash or next.

I don't call if I have not hit it yet. Attention is currency. Less is more.
 

Dash Riprock

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Obviously the ideal situation is her hitting me up after the date, but I have found that sometimes a good feminine-woman won’t do that, even if she had an awesome time on the date.
This is always bad advice and I read it a lot. Another example of some guys being way too far down the Red Pill rabbit hole.

Unless the girl is less than a ~HB6, 99% chances are she won't hit you up after the date. They don't have to to. Most have many options. Some do to say thank you by text immediately after the date, but even that is rare. Welcome to 2019.

It's the man's job and role to lead and pursue (not chase). You call/text her, you make the plan, you show her a good time. Repeat. Making or waiting for her to contact you is allowing her to take the lead, unless that's what you like/want.

Don't sit around like a boorish SIMP and get p*issed when she doesn't reach out. TAKE what you want. If you're not getting the results or response you want, you cut them, and next batter up.
 

BJP1991

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I personally do not initiate at all after the first meet. I let them text or call first. If she's into you you WILL hear from here.
I am brutal with this area. I don't go there. If she don't text after rapport. I let them drop.
But i seriously think when you text after that first date "hey" bla bla it puts the whole frame in a bad place. But these worked for me. Initiating did not.

Sorta what happened. She hit me up 2 days after the date to ask me about some stuff I had planned for the weekend. Exchanged a text or two and lined up our next date for later in the week.

This girl seems to have good interest, but man does she take her time to reply. 4-8 hours to respond sometimes. Could be some bs gameplaying on her part, because she seems more than enthused to accept the next date.

What’s your opinion on a girl who shows high-interest, accepts all your date offers, initiates you first after a date, but takes ages to reply? I’ve seen it before and usually over the course of 2-3 dates they quit the act and start replying at a more normal rate, but even before this current girl and I met the first time she was like that too.
 

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I also wait for them to reach out to me. If she does, then I know her interest is high. Call, text, fax. It doesn’t really matter if she has interest. Contact her and set up a date.
 

BJP1991

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Some are slow texters. Doesnt matter if your getting the respect of your time and she's going on dates with you.
Let her wonder whether or not you liked her. The hotter they are the more they will be sensitive to this. The girl I'm with now i remember i wouldn't here from her for days in the beginning.
I remember i let her stew so much she blew up my phone on week after i iced the situation for a couple weeks. Was hilariously predictable.
Every situation may need tweaked accordingly but i am highly reluctant to contact first after that first meet. Especially if she's showing low interest during the meet. Its frame suicide at that point.
About what I figured as well. As long as she’s keen on going out again and accepts my date offers, then it’s not a big deal really. I’ve seen it before too, where a girl will just wait and wait and wait to text you back, but when they do they’re always willing and ready to see me again.

For context, I also never ever text or call unless my goal is to setup the next date. I worry some guys might read this thread and say “stop texting her so much”, well - that’s never the case for me. I realize some people claim you can use the phone to get her hamster wheel spinning or whatnot, but I legitimately think that only works with specific girls who either have stupidly high interest or they’re the kind who text 24/7 regardless of who it is to. I think it’s a mute-strategy. Attraction is created and built in-person, not on the phone. You can’t have sex on the phone or in texting, at least I’ve never found a way to. Phone-sex isn’t real sex.
 

biggoal

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This is always bad advice and I read it a lot. Another example of some guys being way too far down the Red Pill rabbit hole.

Unless the girl is less than a ~HB6, 99% chances are she won't hit you up after the date. They don't have to to. Most have many options. Some do to say thank you by text immediately after the date, but even that is rare. Welcome to 2019.

It's the man's job and role to lead and pursue (not chase). You call/text her, you make the plan, you show her a good time. Repeat. Making or waiting for her to contact you is allowing her to take the lead, unless that's what you like/want.

Don't sit around like a boorish SIMP and get p*issed when she doesn't reach out. TAKE what you want. If you're not getting the results or response you want, you cut them, and next batter up.
The one sat.texted me 3 hours after the date thanking me for lunch and that and chatted a bit. Texted a little on sunday too. Taking a break today and I won't text her. If I dont hear anything today should I text her tomorrow night asking if she wants to go out sunday? I dont want to seem persistant hence why today I'm not contacting her.
 

AttackFormation

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DJ mindset here. By far the most insight on this thread in my opinion. I'm GLAD that you have issues waiting 5 days to contact. Horrible advise that most guys are still inexplicably giving these days: wait at least 3 days or 5 days or better yet don't respond at all. Bad advice in my opinion.
I agree with what Espi says and I'll add a different take onto it. If all you wanted was to optimize the odds of you entering her pvssy again, and you have no options or other things to spend energy on, go ahead and obsess over when to text her. If however you want to cut out obsessive overthinking from your life and live as you feel like, then you should simply message her again whenever you feel like it. This is a kind of "no game"-game I guess it could be called, where you simply do what you want to do without fear or apology and if they don't like what you do then you aren't compatible and that's it. Obviously there is a limit to everything so you still can't spam her phone with needy or weak texts as soon as you part, but you get the point.

Personally I have found that the higher a girl's interest, the more effective this kind of approach is (at cutting through sh!t) and the lower a girl's interest, the lower the odds that anything will "work" and the more energy you have to put in anyway. So it suits me very well personally.
 
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BJP1991

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Espi/AF - awesome posts. Thank you for added insight.

This girl got back to me again today, about 14 hours after I last texted her, so I think she’s pulling a little bs gameplaying but who cares. I’m seeing her again later in the week and there’s no need to even have a text convo at this point
 

RickTheToad

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Pretty simple dude. Call a few days later and set something up. If I really think we hit it off, I'd invite her to my place to smash, but second date is hit or miss. Depends on how high her interest levels are. Smash def. by 3rd or 4th.
 

BJP1991

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Pretty simple dude. Call a few days later and set something up. If I really think we hit it off, I'd invite her to my place to smash, but second date is hit or miss. Depends on how high her interest levels are. Smash def. by 3rd or 4th.
Normally what I do. In this particular case, she hit me up 1.5 days after the first date.
 
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