First date went well. Call vs text

Espi

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My personal thought on this:

When I'm meeting a chick for the first time and she's laughing, touching, twirling hair, I KNOW that I'm at the top of my game and that I will very likely get another meetup, so it won't matter when I call or text again.

I DO NOT, however, wait for them to text or call me.

Over the years, I suspect I've left lots of good pvussy on the table, thinking I can go ghost because a chick seemed really into me. I am convinced that waiting too long to follow up (i.e. more than 2 days) is just as bad as seeming too eager. Both can KILL interest. Both can REPEL women.

I would never call or text the same day but I often will text or call the next day...2 days max.

When I'm at the top of my game I am damn-near irresistable, particularly on first dates, and the ones who are highly interested will, during and/or at the end of a first date, suggest meeting up again. They almost always make it easy for me.

In my opinion, analyzing when I should again make contact, or waiting for her to contact me, means I'm doubting myself. If she were really into me, the date will end with a kiss and her leaving things open for another date: "Maybe I'll get to see you again" or "We should do it again." THAT is what makes questions like the one being posed in this thread an absolute no-brainer.

We all get that gut feeling on first dates when we just KNOW they're into us. And my gut is ALWAYS right, by the way. Not saying that I always get a second meetup, though. Attraction is fleeting and flaking most commonly occurs between dates 1 and 2. I have fvucked several on the first date yet even a few of those women went ghost on me after I followed up a day or two later.
 
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Espi

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DJ mindset here. By far the most insight on this thread in my opinion. I'm GLAD that you have issues waiting 5 days to contact.

Horrible advice that most guys are still inexplicably giving these days: wait at least 3 days or 5 days or better yet don't respond at all. Bad advice in my opinion.

See, I’ve had mixed results with waiting that long (5 days). I feel like sometimes it’s enough for a girl to think you are gameplaying or they just lose interest, or more likely went on 2-3 other dates with 2-3 other dudes by that point. However, this does not mean I would ever go texting them next day or, worse, the same night. That was early BJP1991 game back in college and it’s totally nonsensical if I know I AM the prize/grand catch.

Obviously the ideal situation is her hitting me up after the date, but I have found that sometimes a good feminine-woman won’t do that, even if she had an awesome time on the date. For example, 2-3 plates I had last winter did exactly that. We would either makeout heavily on the date, or even result in having sex the first date. Then they wouldn’t initiate contact for a few days and when I reach out to them, they were more than happy to accept and make plans for a next date.

I suppose the kiss is a good indicator. When I went for it, she smiled and kissed me passionately, pulling my body into hers the whole time.

In the past, I used to struggle with over-liking a girl early on, and holding back after a good first date helped me keep frame and stop over-liking her so much. I’ve come along way in that respect, but still always looking to improve my game.
 

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DJ mindset here. By far the most insight on this thread in my opinion. I'm GLAD that you have issues waiting 5 days to contact. Horrible advise that most guys are still inexplicably giving these days: wait at least 3 days or 5 days or better yet don't respond at all. Bad advice in my opinion.
I agree with what Espi says and I'll add a different take onto it. If all you wanted was to optimize the odds of you entering her pvssy again, and you have no options or other things to spend energy on, go ahead and obsess over when to text her. If however you want to cut out obsessive overthinking from your life and live as you feel like, then you should simply message her again whenever you feel like it. This is a kind of "no game"-game I guess it could be called, where you simply do what you want to do without fear or apology and if they don't like what you do then you aren't compatible and that's it. Obviously there is a limit to everything so you still can't spam her phone with needy or weak texts as soon as you part, but you get the point.

Personally I have found that the higher a girl's interest, the more effective this kind of approach is (at cutting through sh!t) and the lower a girl's interest, the lower the odds that anything will "work" and the more energy you have to put in anyway. So it suits me very well personally.
 
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BJP1991

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Espi/AF - awesome posts. Thank you for added insight.

This girl got back to me again today, about 14 hours after I last texted her, so I think she’s pulling a little bs gameplaying but who cares. I’m seeing her again later in the week and there’s no need to even have a text convo at this point
 

RickTheToad

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Pretty simple dude. Call a few days later and set something up. If I really think we hit it off, I'd invite her to my place to smash, but second date is hit or miss. Depends on how high her interest levels are. Smash def. by 3rd or 4th.
 
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BJP1991

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Pretty simple dude. Call a few days later and set something up. If I really think we hit it off, I'd invite her to my place to smash, but second date is hit or miss. Depends on how high her interest levels are. Smash def. by 3rd or 4th.
Normally what I do. In this particular case, she hit me up 1.5 days after the first date.
 

Espi

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Strictly my opinion here (lots of emojis but keep an open mind):

If "later in the week" means you've indeed confirmed a specific day, place and time, and it's THURS or FRI, then text her WEDS at around 4 pm:

"Hi Gorgeous just thinking about you ;) ;) looking forward to seeing you ____ night ;) ;)"

When she responds, and unless she texts a question, BRIEFLY text back (immediately or within a few hours either way you're good).

Here's what I would text back:

;) ;)

Again: that's all I would text back:

;) ;)

However, when your text requires answering take a few minutes to respond, and even then, keep your answer short and brief and don't volley-question back:

"Yes Hon I had a great day thank you and I hope you're having a good one as well ;) ;)"

Espi/AF - awesome posts. Thank you for added insight.

This girl got back to me again today, about 14 hours after I last texted her, so I think she’s pulling a little bs gameplaying but who cares. I’m seeing her again later in the week and there’s no need to even have a text convo at this point
 
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RickTheToad

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Normally what I do. In this particular case, she hit me up 1.5 days after the first date.
That's a good sign. Setup something for Friday at your place or her's and see how she reacts. If she says too soon, meet up for an activity and then drinks; preferably close to your place or hers.
 

Espi

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Highly interested ones will contact you first
Not 100% convinced they all will.

I prefer proactive versus reactive. I couldn't care less about testing or knowing their interest level.

The only thing that matters is my interest in them.

I never discern or analyze IOIs. And I never wait /expect them to contact me.
 
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I normally don't text, I'd call when I feel like doing so, no time frame.

Normally after the 1st date, it's always the girl who would initiate texts, thanking me for the dinner, drinks and etc.

1st date as a rule, I never seek to fvck, I seek to know her a little better, understand her passions etc and then see if there's anything special about her other then the superficial appearance girls generally puts on.

It carries on from there.
 

BJP1991

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That's a good sign. Setup something for Friday at your place or her's and see how she reacts. If she says too soon, meet up for an activity and then drinks; preferably close to your place or hers.
Setting up something for next week, as we both are out of town this weekend.

I think I’ll do something fun and drinks this time around. On the first date she was a bit apprehensive about going back to my place on a first date, despite heavy making out, so I think that’s just some first date ASD going on. Not a big deal on a very first date.

I figure I’ll take her out again this time around and then if I like her enough to have a third date, we will make dinner at my place.

This girl just takes her time responding. Likely playing hard-to-get a little bit, which I’ve seen in other women before who actually ended up having pretty high interest and it showed on our second dates and beyond. I’ll take her initiating after the first date as the positive indication here that she has good interest.
 

RickTheToad

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Setting up something for next week, as we both are out of town this weekend.

I think I’ll do something fun and drinks this time around. On the first date she was a bit apprehensive about going back to my place on a first date, despite heavy making out, so I think that’s just some first date ASD going on. Not a big deal on a very first date.

I figure I’ll take her out again this time around and then if I like her enough to have a third date, we will make dinner at my place.

This girl just takes her time responding. Likely playing hard-to-get a little bit, which I’ve seen in other women before who actually ended up having pretty high interest and it showed on our second dates and beyond. I’ll take her initiating after the first date as the positive indication here that she has good interest.
Just make sute the bar or activity is close to either your pad or her's. You need options; just in case.
 
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