"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
First date vday. Good idea?
- Thread starter Konada
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
There's also the fact that everything will be over-price that day (Last year I went out with a potential gf for valentine day, it cost me 114$)
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Yes, hamsters need love too!
Maximus Rex
Banned
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Building_and_Loan
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Plus it's a weekend, I'd try to avoid taking a girl I just met out on the weekend, and try to make plans for Wednesday or Thursday.
Mot1veProgress
Banned
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Why not Vday? Let's say you don't take the chance you have now.. and she spends her VAlentine's with another guy.. Not only is he more likely to get the kat, but he has every advantage considering a woman's brain faculties respond well to things that are conducive to romance, sex, power, wealth. V-day would be conducive to sex, romance, passion.
However it is early on in meeting her to ask her out.. BUT read below.
***NOTE: I'm not saying you should ask her out on Vday. I'm saying if she gives you a sign that she's open to spending her Vday with you, take that opportunity.
Afterall, you're not in America. In America, it might be too early. But in your country, it might be the perfect time to start things.. and have that chick tellin all her friends " we had our first date on valentines day.. it was so amazinggg"
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
...agreed.
If you meet her on V-Day, she instantly knows you have no other options, attraction drops, game over before it begins. She needs to thinks she's in competition.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I'm not saying to necessarily care about what she thinks... but being free on V-Day is not going to get her hamster spinning... but to be fair my game is more about quick lays... so depends what OP is looking for.
This is simply a way for him to subtly make her think she has to qualify herself to him... which puts him in control.
Telling a man asking for directions, "Just go where you want, sir!" isn't very helpful is it? Sometimes a little guidance is necessary.
Mot1veProgress
Banned
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I think @Last of the Alphas meant more in the sense that don't base your experience with a woman based off textbook "should do's" or "shouldn't do's".. If it feels right, why not? Why wait till she goes out with some other guy on V day and beats you on leaving a good impression on her.. especially on a day conducive to passion / romance.. He met her on the 7th. Vday is on the 11th.
Here are some variables in play:
- What kind of connection they have
- What did they do when they first met (goes with above)
- What kind of IOI's is she showing
- Did she give an indicator of being single / wanting a relationship
- or is she just looking for sex and a good time?
- Is she showing openness to hanging on Vday (ie: mentions how she has no one to spend vday with. asks you if you have someone to spend your vday with)
Now if she gives you signs that she wants to spend Vday with you.. OP would be stupid to say "ehh nah im busy".. Tells the girl 1 of 2 things.. That he's got another chick he wants to spend Vday with, or that he's not interested in her more than friends. This could potentially ruin it unless she knows the demo and is just lookin for fun/sex.
OP does not live in America or UK. So it's not the same dynamic of dating. In America, it would be kind of a corny thing to have a 1st date on Vday.. But whats the big deal? I mean its not like OP will cry if she says no.. At least I hope not! xD