First Date: SoSuave Tells Me What To Do

[BeDJ]

HB 7, 22 years old - Uni grad, graphics designer. Asian 5' 5/6"

High interest, less than 10% chance of flaking. We are meeting up the wine bar near my house at 8PM tomorrow.

Rules:

No stupid things like dipping my nut sack in her merlot.
Options will reflect posts in chronological order
Votes open for 24 hours.
I don't care if I get laid, slapped, insulted, embarrassed, second date, kissed, etc.

Field Report Guaranteed.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

When you're at the bar ask her if she's hungry. Then if she says yes, take out your wiener and, while giving her a serious look, say:"I got something for you to snack on right here." Then see what happens!!

 

[Dgwizdal]

Tell her you like Asian food. Then ask if she's ever had cream-of-sum-yun-gai. Then proceed to F close. Done.

 

[VikingKing]

Act distracted, glancing at the door and around the room nervously. After she notices this behavior apologize and tell her you think your ex-girlfriend has been following you, and that you have been finding dead rodents, and birds on your doorstep.

 

[Wolfgang D]

Show up with a big bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolate

 

[TheException]

Say "Im sorry but..." at the beginning of every single sentence.

 

[Dan08]

Randomly slip swear words into sentences throughout the date

 

[SgtSplacker]

Maintain an erection throughout the whole date.

 

[apprenticedj]

Wine bar should be sufficient, bar hop from there. Don't do dinner though, drinking wine and eating equals sleepytime and yawns (for both of you), sleepytime = no sex.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Ask her what the French butcher asked the Japanese lady in Hannibal Rising (does the asian pvssy run sideways?)

 

[BeDJ]

Awesome. I'm going to find ways to inject all the suggestions above into the date.

Personally, I like Social_Leper's suggestion the best and it will absolutely be done.

 

[Albatross953]

Don't forget the field report if you can use the internet in jail!

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

2+ hours to go, C'mon poster #1!!

 

[BeDJ]

Maintain an erection throughout the whole date.

Taking 2 Extenzes' right now.

2+ hours to go, C'mon poster #1!!

No. I'm a grower, not a show-er with my inch and quarter.

I'm calling it out now.

8:15 Wine bar
9:00 Isolation
10:00 My place
10:30 Clothes off
10:35 Clean up

Anyways, who has roofies??

 

[BeDJ]

Fail.

We met at the wine bar and she was definitely reserved compared to the last time we even though she drove 20 minutes to see me.

- Lives with parents and older brothers
- Does not drink (1 beer limit)
- Over-protective parents
- Curfew at 10PM
- Lives 25 minutes away

The crowded bar could have altered how the hour long date progressed. Although good conversation and laughter were had, I could sense that the 'connection' or fvck wasn't there. It was just 2 people talking and getting to know each other, god damn it. After about 40-45 minutes, I asked if she had a curfew and threw out another venue. She said her curfew was 10 and she had to stick by it.

If is woman is interested in you sexually, she would bend the rules for you. She was not. Next.

Sorry to disappoint, I thought this one was in the bag.

 

[foreverAFC]

you should have dipped your sack in her merlot

 

[Wolfgang D]

Too bad it's over, I have another one: Bring a laptop and keep showing her The Office clips from YouTube. Or Parks and Recreation, either works.

 

[DonGorgon]

um just get her to your house to watch movies then make moves and F