"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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First Date Report: Middle School Teacher

B

BeDJ

Guest
5'2" Brunette (8) 29 Years old =\

We met at a piano bar for a drink and chit chatted for a while. She mentions how she wanted to try new exciting things, but given her age, she is on the cusp where settling down is a must. I lead the conversation with mostly talking about 'the future.'

- Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
- Do you see yourself doing anything else for work?
- Has owning a house came across your mind?

The mature talk. Good eye contact, pupils dilated - although no kino. My interest level in her increased tenfold when she said she didn't have a smartphone and rarely uses her phone.

Once she saw that I was goal oriented and mature, my plan was to engage her excitement side. I simply said, let's do something fun. When she agreed, I signed the check and headed towards the exit, assuming she was following. Next was checking to see if I had built enough comfort for her to hop in my car. Check.

We arrived at a low budget amusement park. Went sh!tty go kart racing, the ones that go 10 miles an hour with mothers driving their toddlers. I gave her a few high fives and stuck my hand out there to see if she would hold on to it, nada.

I just spent 2 hours with this chick and don't even know her attraction level. I said fvck it, either it's going to work or it isn't. After a game of air hockey, I went in for the kiss. I caught the side of her mouth, but she was smiling and said something very incoherent (I forgot.)

Throughout the night, when I initiated kino, she would reciprocate (ie: putting my hands around her waist, she would do the same) She would initiate as well. That kiss opened the floodgates, I would have never known unless I went for it.

I dropped her back at her car after a 5 HOUR first date. When I put it in park, she started rambling how she had a good time, if I wanted to hang out again, text her, etc for almost a minute. I pulled her neck in a gave her and french kissed her while massaging the nape of her neck.

After, she was just fvcking staring into space, not even at me, but at nothing for 30 seconds. This chick was in a trance. She snapped out of it and went in for a kiss. Of course I denied =)

She owes me a favor from a mini golf wager. I'm trying to think of something that will lead me back to her place next date.

Moral of the story, if you don't know where you stand with a given chick, kiss her. Lob that fvcking sh!t.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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TheException

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Both great contributions from DJ and Social...

Go for the kiss in the middle of the date...never at the end.

1.) You avoid the awkward "Is he going to kiss me/Is he not going to kiss me"

2.) Since you already got the kiss...the end of date = makeout instead of the first kiss(peck).
 
B

BeDJ

Guest
I have a week long business trip on Thursday so I decided to strike when the iron was hot. Texted her yesterday.

Are you free Tuesday?
No response.

Number deleted.

I got 2 first dates lined up tomorrow and one for Wednesday.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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BeginningDJ said:
I have a week long business trip on Thursday so I decided to strike when the iron was hot. Texted her yesterday.

Are you free Tuesday?
No response.

Number deleted.

I got 2 first dates lined up tomorrow and one for Wednesday.
I have a couple questions. What was the reasoning for deleting the number? Was it so you wouldn't text her again? What happens if she gets back to you within the next few days? Or booty texts you this weekend?

I understand you're not going to put up with that behavior.....so if she texts you and you're not sure if it's her or not are you just going to ignore it? Why so easy to delete? She said herself she doesn't use her phone that much.
 
B

BeDJ

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Peaks&Valleys said:
I have a couple questions. What was the reasoning for deleting the number? Was it so you wouldn't text her again? What happens if she gets back to you within the next few days? Or booty texts you this weekend?

I understand you're not going to put up with that behavior.....so if she texts you and you're not sure if it's her or not are you just going to ignore it? Why so easy to delete? She said herself she doesn't use her phone that much.
Deleting her number is my way of closing the book on a prospect. It puts her out of my peripherals so I can focus on other prospects. Perhaps like going No Contact with your ex. Out of sight, out of mind.

Even if she texts me back today, tomorrow or next week, the dating process is interrupted and starts back at Square One.

Regardless of what she says about using their phones, women don't wear watches.

How do they check time?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Peaks&Valleys

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I see, but if she texts you back eventually, don't you want to know it's her? I'm wondering because I want to do the same thing sometimes. It's an empowering feeling erasing a girls number. You're right, it does get her out of your mind so to say, at least to the point where you're somewhat not waiting/expecting to hear from her and it does allow you to put her behind you and focus on other things.

The only thing that stops me is the possibility or probability that she will text me back eventually. I'd like to know who it is that's texting me. Also, to erase a number after only one non-response could come across as a jaded and/or emotional response to not getting a reply.
 

TheException

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Deleting her number is my way of closing the book on a prospect. It puts her out of my peripherals so I can focus on other prospects.

I dont know...it almost hits me like your taking the "easy way out". Like I dont know why you have to delete the number to put her out of mind? Just dont text her again. For me...i RARELY delete numbers because youd be surprised who will hit you up after weeks, months, even a year of not talking to her. I dont think you mean to do it as a way to avoid blowing up her phone....but if your standards are so high that a girl that doesnt IMMEDIATELY return your text, gets "NEXT-ED"....well then....prepare to be disappointed often.
 
B

BeDJ

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TheException said:
I dont know...it almost hits me like your taking the "easy way out".....but if your standards are so high that a girl that doesnt IMMEDIATELY return your text, gets "NEXT-ED"....well then....prepare to be disappointed often.
Quite the contrary. Most guys will advise to hit her up in a week later, hoping to get another date. See: Scarcity Mentality. It is much harder to develop the mindset of premature nexting.

One Shot.
One Woman.
One Lifetime.

Same standards I have for them as well.

In addition, it's better to pursue high interest women than to turn a low interest prospect to a high one.
 
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