First date report. Just a quick peck?

[RickTheToad]

This was a first, even for me. Met this lady for a drink and an appetizer at a local pub. She was laughing and smiling, so I assumed that was a good sign. Then the band started playing really loud, so I said we should leave. We walked back to her car, and said I hope you had a nice time, and she said she did. I gave her a hug and then went in for a kiss. I received a quick peck on the lips. A bit odd no? Not sure of her interest. She's 32, so wasn't expecting that reaction to a kiss.

Do I just move on?

 

[Serenity]

said I hope you had a nice time, and she said she did.

Don't ask if they had a nice time, I'll explain why.

When you ask them this it shows a few unfavorable things. One of them is being bad at reading others, it should be evident through observation whether or not she enjoyed it. Another is a lack of confidence/insecurity, but it kinda ties into the first point, if you're not sure you should at least assume she had a good time (because you know you're enjoyable). A third point is that you think too much about her and not enough about yourself, you should go first by telling her you enjoyed it (if you did of course) instead of making her go first (men lead). The natural response for them would be to tell you they enjoyed it too (if they did), so you'll get verbal confirmation without asking and losing frame. Doing it that way shows you care about yourself (this is attractive), leadership and that you don't fear judgement (by going first).

The difference is subtle, but it matters. She probably just didn't perceive you as emotionally strong (which is very attractive), I'll bet you made several similar subtle mistakes throughout the interaction and it was probably caused by a bad frame.

Move on and improve your frame with the advice I just gave you, better luck on the next one.

 

[RickTheToad]

Working on it. Not sure why I said that. Correction though, I said that after the peck. I guess I was thrown off from such a basic quick peck on the lips. Since we were both laughing and seemly having a good time, that was a bit of a shock. Didn't receive an text later; which in my experience, many women do send when they had a good time.

 

[spred]

You did good. Kiss = interested.

 

[MrWood]

the music was loud, you said lets leave...
and you ended the date... wtf Sir?

 

[Igetit!]

the music was loud, you said lets leave...
and you ended the date... wtf Sir?

Lol.....yeah....

My thought exactly.

 

[lizardking82]

Hug = too much romance right away.

 

[RickTheToad]

A live band started to play, so it was impossible to hear anything, thus, we paid and then left. It was fine until the band was playing. Wasn't aware that a live ban was going to be playing at a pub.

 

[sazc]

A live band started to play, so it was impossible to hear anything, thus, we paid and then left. It was fine until the band was playing. Wasn't aware that a live ban was going to be playing at a pub.

But why END the date? If you were having a good time you could just change venues, take a walk, etc etc etc. Why in the evening?

 

[RickTheToad]

Usually keep the 1st dates to two to three hours max. We were conversing for two and a half hours, then the band started to play. Seemed like a good time to exit. Already spent forty bucks on drinks and an appetizer. Not going to spend another twenty+ bucks at another venue. Plus, if a lady likes you, it shouldn't matter. A quick peck on the lips seems to show little interest. Not saying it ended the way I wanted, but that's the way it crumbled.

 

[lizardking82]

Usually keep the 1st dates to two to three hours max. We were conversing for two and a half hours, then the band started to play. Seemed like a good time to exit. Already spent forty bucks on drinks and an appetizer. Not going to spend another twenty+ bucks at another venue. Plus, if a lady likes you, it shouldn't matter. A quick peck on the lips seems to show little interest. Not saying it ended the way I wanted, but that's the way it crumbled.

You keep the dates going for as long as they feel right. You're still too robotic, with timeframes and all. Not enjoying yourself.

 

[RickTheToad]

Perhaps. But the band really threw me off. Plus, three different waitresses where coming over to us about every 5 minutes asking us if we wanted anything else. Considering there was only about 10 people at the pub, it was really annoying; which we both agreed with. Wasn't the greatest venue. So much for Yelp suggestions.

I was enjoying myself until the band really threw everything off. Then that led to leaving early and then the kissing peck fiasco.

Perhaps I am overthinking it, I do that. However, also surprised no text after the date. Not a very good sign.

 

[sazc]

So the question now becomes, should you reach out? If you should reach out, how much time should go by before you reach out?

@lizardking82 thoughts?

 

[RickTheToad]

That's what I do not know. Peck on lips plus no text after date. Not usually a good sign. I've had a peck on the lips years ago, but at least got a text after and she continued to text and reach out until our next date. This one, not sure. TBH, about the leaving after the band, we were basically screaming at each other as they were playing Blink 182. There was a bar down the street, but I didn't think of it at the moment. Rookie mistake. Again, still new to this re-dating thing. Still a bit rough around the edges.

 

[lizardking82]

So the question now becomes, should you reach out? If you should reach out, how much time should go by before you reach out?

@lizardking82 thoughts?

Depends on what day he had the date, still, I wouldn't try planning it much here, just go for it naturally. Wait 3-4 days, whe she crosses your mind again, say hi through text and if the flow feels right, invite out on a second date.

Again, on a first date and practically any date, you should lead the situation. Band started playing suddenly? Your planning mistake. Take chicks to places you know. You start exploring new places with a chick you already bang or have sth with so that even if the band starts playing suddenly or some other thing happens, you take it outside and have a walk and chill out and bang or whatever you wanna do. First few times you go out you wanna be in your own territory, at least since you're in the first few steps.

If you had the date tonight or last night, wait until Tuesday or Wednesday lunch time and text her sth in the lines of "Hey sweetie, was grabbing lunch just now and you crossed my mind. What you up to, how's the day going?" This is what I would do.

What you should do is what you feel like. That is the only way you learn.

 

[spred]

I can't believe that we are discussing a normal situation. Rick went on date, had fun, got a kiss.
Call her and ask her again.

Tomorrow we will discuss about why the Sun is rising.

Jesus.

 

[Reykhel]

I can't believe that we are discussing a normal situation. Rick went on date, had fun, got a kiss.
Call her and ask her again.

Tomorrow we will discuss about why the Sun is rising.

Jesus.

Exactly. Too much overanalyzing on this one.

The man was done with the date and pulled the plug......because he wanted to. (more than enough time spent on a first date)

Always best when the man says "ok enough".

Talking on the phone? Man says ok got to go.

On a date? Man says alright time to go.

Leave her wanting more, instead of her calling it a day because she has had enough.....

 

[Glassguy]

"I'm enjoying your company but its getting loud in here. Let's shoot over to such and such place or head to my place for a final drink......."

She probably didnt really kiss you because you cut a good date short and didnt escalate

 

[EyeBRollin]

"I'm enjoying your company but its getting loud in here. Let's shoot over to such and such place or head to my place for a final drink......."

She probably didnt really kiss you because you cut a good date short and didnt escalate

Naw he was right to end it. He actually stayed an hour too long. You guys are giving bad advice. You have to spoon feed your time, not linger for hours.

 

[Aspire]

You did good. Kiss = interested.

I have to agree,