StrayCat
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2018
- Messages
- 176
- Reaction score
- 48
- Age
- 48
I plan to escalate. It's a wine & spirits place, not sure how much can be done in public. Hopefully there's a booth we can get instead of standing at the bar section. Doubtful she'll want to f-ck on the first what this is. She has school the net day. We're both meeting at this place. She's taking Uber as she's kinda local, whereas I live 20 mins away.You gotta escalate man. Best you can do is to bring her back to your place for more drinks. That don't mean fcking right away, just several hours of fun, and escalation. Then maybe fcking.
Since she practically opened you, and invited you for drinks - that's a dream girl man - you can fck up by one of several ways, 1) if you talk yourself into lowering her IL, and 2) if you don't escalate with her. She knows what's up, she wants to get fcked on first date. Be sure to take her back home for more drinks.
Also, take uber, don't drink and drive.
Will do. I am very direct and so is she. She said that was a thing she liked about me. I did think that a bit interesting.Why the pessimism?
After my divorce I dated a 23 year old (at the beginning) and I was 35. She was just finishing up grad school, I was recently divorced and have a daughter. She had no kids, never married. Size 4 body and super attractive. We dated for just under 3 years.
I was neither a 10, a multi millionaire or very powerful.
Let me say it again because you missed it on the thread I started yesterday:
Your looks have to be good enough to get in the door. After that, if your personality can take over its an easy road to travel with women. Regardless of age.
@StrayCat
Let me tell you this- I am almost 42 yrs old and the age of women that I date/spin are 26-32. I can tell you that the age game is NOT an issue unless you make it an issue. Just act like you 2 are the same age when you meet up with her.
Let her lead the conversation (as you should anyway) and you just smile and ask a question about something she says here and there to keep her talking. That way you can see what topics she brings up, etc.
More and more, younger women want an older man. They want someone that can still go out and have fun on occasion but they also want someone who is mature and knows how to lead the relationship.
Go meet up with her and have a good time. Dont try to be someone you're not, let her come into your frame. She is obviously attracted to you.
Good luck and keep us posted.
She has a passion for music I guess and she was mentioning the office politics a bit. I would prefer to stay on positive subjects though, not negative. That's what I have to navigate.This. Same experience. The only time this age gap matters is if you are using online dating, or I'd you haven't taken care of yourself. Don't bring up age, don't say anything that will make her think about it... Like references to things that would be before her time, or bring up generational topics, etc. I've found the latter can be tricky at first but make a conscious effort.
As for what to talk about, get her talking about things that will stir up emotions. I've found the best way to do this is by starting with a common general topic, and then drilling down in a specific way. Ask her where she works, but then don't continue that line of boring work questioning that most guys will. Instead ask her what the office politics are like. Ask her what she's good at, outside of work, then press her on why she is good and WHY she likes to do it.
Makes sense.Exactly right! I’m not the best looking guy BUT I’m plenty good looking enough to get my foot in the door with most (not all) women. My personality keeps them around for the long haul. Now, with that said, I’ve had to work hard on my transition from being the guy that could make women laugh to being the guy who knew wtf he was doing and not just the funny man all the time because that’ll get you killed in dating. You’ll become a side show for her and her friends. The laughter gets me the first date or two, then it’s time to take it up a notch. I know how to relax women and make them feel super comfortable around me, once that happens you’re almost home.
I realized that comment was dumb. I immediately said it came out wrong and it wasn't a criticism, she let it go. I did teach years ago in a college for a bit, I didn't think it was that hard. That was the only reason why I said that. I didn't want to extrapolate on that with other people around us. It wasn't meant as an invalidation, just what I experienced around the teachers I worked with.She asked you out and asked for your number. That’s a date.
If she’s not making the age thing an issue, then follow her lead. If she wasn’t interested in drinks with a 43 year old man then she would not have asked you out.
As for what to talk about, tennis (maybe some pro tournaments currently happening) other sports she may like, her work. Just ask her questions about stuff you think she may talk about, based on what you have texted so far. She already mentioned being a music teacher which is actually not easy as it requires knowledge of music (I don’t mean top 40 hits lol) as well as patience to deal with a bunch of students. Invalidating her work by implying it’s not hard is a dumb move and will put you in a bad light so try not to say stuff that minimizes what she sees as relevant or important.
I always find that asking people about their interests and building on what they say seems to leave a good impression, even if you have zero interest in most of what they are saying lol.
Drinks will help make it less awkward for both of you.
Have fun
Not at all. Still a few hours away. I'm always myself, never tried to be anyone else.If she's interested already then all you gotta do is continue being yourself. You wouldn't believe the amount of guys who sabotage themselves in the interest of "keeping it interesting".
I'm probably too late with this response though?