First date and drinks?

[StrayCat]

You gotta escalate man. Best you can do is to bring her back to your place for more drinks. That don't mean fcking right away, just several hours of fun, and escalation. Then maybe fcking.

Since she practically opened you, and invited you for drinks - that's a dream girl man - you can fck up by one of several ways, 1) if you talk yourself into lowering her IL, and 2) if you don't escalate with her. She knows what's up, she wants to get fcked on first date. Be sure to take her back home for more drinks.

Also, take uber, don't drink and drive.

I plan to escalate. It's a wine & spirits place, not sure how much can be done in public. Hopefully there's a booth we can get instead of standing at the bar section. Doubtful she'll want to f-ck on the first what this is. She has school the net day. We're both meeting at this place. She's taking Uber as she's kinda local, whereas I live 20 mins away.

Why the pessimism?

After my divorce I dated a 23 year old (at the beginning) and I was 35. She was just finishing up grad school, I was recently divorced and have a daughter. She had no kids, never married. Size 4 body and super attractive. We dated for just under 3 years.

I was neither a 10, a multi millionaire or very powerful.

Let me say it again because you missed it on the thread I started yesterday:

Your looks have to be good enough to get in the door. After that, if your personality can take over its an easy road to travel with women. Regardless of age.

@StrayCat
Let me tell you this- I am almost 42 yrs old and the age of women that I date/spin are 26-32. I can tell you that the age game is NOT an issue unless you make it an issue. Just act like you 2 are the same age when you meet up with her.

Let her lead the conversation (as you should anyway) and you just smile and ask a question about something she says here and there to keep her talking. That way you can see what topics she brings up, etc.

More and more, younger women want an older man. They want someone that can still go out and have fun on occasion but they also want someone who is mature and knows how to lead the relationship.

Go meet up with her and have a good time. Dont try to be someone you're not, let her come into your frame. She is obviously attracted to you.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Will do. I am very direct and so is she. She said that was a thing she liked about me. I did think that a bit interesting.

This. Same experience. The only time this age gap matters is if you are using online dating, or I'd you haven't taken care of yourself. Don't bring up age, don't say anything that will make her think about it... Like references to things that would be before her time, or bring up generational topics, etc. I've found the latter can be tricky at first but make a conscious effort.

As for what to talk about, get her talking about things that will stir up emotions. I've found the best way to do this is by starting with a common general topic, and then drilling down in a specific way. Ask her where she works, but then don't continue that line of boring work questioning that most guys will. Instead ask her what the office politics are like. Ask her what she's good at, outside of work, then press her on why she is good and WHY she likes to do it.

She has a passion for music I guess and she was mentioning the office politics a bit. I would prefer to stay on positive subjects though, not negative. That's what I have to navigate.

Exactly right! I’m not the best looking guy BUT I’m plenty good looking enough to get my foot in the door with most (not all) women. My personality keeps them around for the long haul. Now, with that said, I’ve had to work hard on my transition from being the guy that could make women laugh to being the guy who knew wtf he was doing and not just the funny man all the time because that’ll get you killed in dating. You’ll become a side show for her and her friends. The laughter gets me the first date or two, then it’s time to take it up a notch. I know how to relax women and make them feel super comfortable around me, once that happens you’re almost home.

Makes sense.

She asked you out and asked for your number. That’s a date.
If she’s not making the age thing an issue, then follow her lead. If she wasn’t interested in drinks with a 43 year old man then she would not have asked you out.
As for what to talk about, tennis (maybe some pro tournaments currently happening) other sports she may like, her work. Just ask her questions about stuff you think she may talk about, based on what you have texted so far. She already mentioned being a music teacher which is actually not easy as it requires knowledge of music (I don’t mean top 40 hits lol) as well as patience to deal with a bunch of students. Invalidating her work by implying it’s not hard is a dumb move and will put you in a bad light so try not to say stuff that minimizes what she sees as relevant or important.
I always find that asking people about their interests and building on what they say seems to leave a good impression, even if you have zero interest in most of what they are saying lol.
Drinks will help make it less awkward for both of you.
Have fun

I realized that comment was dumb. I immediately said it came out wrong and it wasn't a criticism, she let it go. I did teach years ago in a college for a bit, I didn't think it was that hard. That was the only reason why I said that. I didn't want to extrapolate on that with other people around us. It wasn't meant as an invalidation, just what I experienced around the teachers I worked with.

If she's interested already then all you gotta do is continue being yourself. You wouldn't believe the amount of guys who sabotage themselves in the interest of "keeping it interesting".

I'm probably too late with this response though?

Not at all. Still a few hours away. I'm always myself, never tried to be anyone else.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

She has a passion for music I guess and she was mentioning the office politics a bit. I would prefer to stay on positive subjects though, not negative. That's what I have to navigate.

Office politics can be positive or negative. Generally, I have found most women to speak in positive terms about office politics, and tell crazy stories of funny things that happened at the company Christmas party etc. This is what I'm going for. But yes, you are right to avoid negative subjects, and to divert the discussion if it goes into negative territory. She will associate you with whatever emotions you bring about in her.

 

[guru1000]

Good looking 27 year old girls only sleep with men in their 40s when the men are moviestars.

How about gorgeous 24 yos throughout the year, does that make me the OWNER of this “game”?

 

[StrayCat]

I do not think it went that well. She texted prior to the date looking forward to see you soon, so I thought that was a good sign. She came in and gave me a hug, and I bought a flight for us. She was very talkative and she seemed to have a good time, did some kino through the night. We were sitting pretty close, and she didn't push my hands away, but who knows. She had some salt on her lip (we shared a large pretzel - it was like as big as a full size pizza), so I was going to wipe it away, but she got it instead (I've used this before, most women just let me take care of it - I use it as a sign of interest). After about 2 hours, she was telling me she had an early morning concert and how she was excited about it with two other music teachers, so we left shortly after that. I walked her to her car, she said what a gentlemen (which, I thought that was a bit weird as she was joking during the date I turn things into sexual innuendos), and gave me a hug when I attempted to go for a kiss. No after date text either. So, I think that was a failure. Oh well. Feel like a fool, prob. going to skip tennis next week to regroup myself.

She handles alcohol better than me too. Which, I was surprised. At 5'7 or so, she couldn't had been more than 110 LBS. I asked her the most extreme thing she's done in her life, she laughed and would tell me. She said she's only told two people, and she's only known me for two weeks. I took that as a sign of disinterest as well. She was very talkative and smiling, but the hug and the no after date text I take it as disinterest. That's my recap.

 

[Glassguy]

I do not think it went that well. She texted prior to the date looking forward to see you soon, so I thought that was a good sign. She came in and gave me a hug, and I bought a flight for us. She was very talkative and she seemed to have a good time, did some kino through the night. We were sitting pretty close, and she didn't push my hands away, but who knows. She had some salt on her lip (we shared a large pretzel - it was like as big as a full size pizza), so I was going to wipe it away, but she got it instead (I've used this before, most women just let me take care of it - I use it as a sign of interest). After about 2 hours, she was telling me she had an early morning concert and how she was excited about it with two other music teachers, so we left shortly after that. I walked her to her car, she said what a gentlemen (which, I thought that was a bit weird as she was joking during the date I turn things into sexual innuendos), and gave me a hug when I attempted to go for a kiss. No after date text either. So, I think that was a failure. Oh well. Feel like a fool, prob. going to skip tennis next week to regroup myself.

She handles alcohol better than me too. Which, I was surprised. At 5'7 or so, she couldn't had been more than 110 LBS. I asked her the most extreme thing she's done in her life, she laughed and would tell me. She said she's only told two people, and she's only known me for two weeks. I took that as a sign of disinterest as well. She was very talkative and smiling, but the hug and the no after date text I take it as disinterest. That's my recap.

I dont think a woman would stick around for 2 hours and be talkative if it went poorly.

Relax man. It's a first date. The goal is to have a good time with no pressure. If that was the case, it went well.

Skipping tennis is not the right play here. A date outcome should not have bearing on anything.

Did you ask her to text you when she got home safely?

Reach out again in a day or so IF you haven't heard from her by then. That's when you set up the next date and then you'll know.

 

[StrayCat]

I dont think a woman would stick around for 2 hours and be talkative if it went poorly.

Relax man. It's a first date. The goal is to have a good time with no pressure. If that was the case, it went well.

Skipping tennis is not the right play here. A date outcome should not have bearing on anything.

Did you ask her to text you when she got home safely?

Reach out again in a day or so IF you haven't heard from her by then. That's when you set up the next date and then you'll know.

Not too sure Glassguy. I've had women stay around for a couple of hours or so and then just ghost. No, I didn't text to make sure she got home okay. I used to do that, but when a few of them didn't or gave me an attitude saying I'm not her keeper or she can take care of her self, thank you when I asked, I just stopped asking all together. She did ask if she'd see me at tennis next week, I said I didn't know. If I go, I'll be the same as I always am, I can keep that up. I've also waited a day or two to text and received and I'll let you know or I'll get back to you when I know what me week is like. I find the best success is if they reach out in some form. She did say she was open to coming to my town and check out the brewery near me and axe throwing; but who knows what's real or what's just talk. I'm not upset or stressed out about it, I didn't think an age range of 43 / 27 would work; but again, since she invited me, I agreed to go. I also paid for the two flights (which were very tasty btw) and pretzel (not so good). She did dress well for the even too, a bit better than me; though, she did say she liked my shoes. I think I should had responded, is that all you like? But I missed that opportunity.

She also said another thing that I wasn't too keen about. She told me she bumped me last week for yoga class that she hadn't gone to in a couple of weeks. Then she said, but I skipped it this week to come grab a drink with you. So, it's hard to read her true interest. I was thinking, possibly when I see her in person again to ask what she's doing over the weekend and maybe we'll plan an activity, but we'll see. They just opened an indoor skydiving place near her, so I thought that would be a cool experience for both of us. I also won free tickets from raffle, so it wouldn't cost me anything and then we can get drinks after.

All I can do is try. I guess we'll see.

 

[RangerMIke]

Already started some kino yesterday. Any other tips? 43 to 27, big age difference. What to girls this age talk about? She's not on social media, which was surprising to me.

I'm 52 and date women in their late twenties occasionally. Age is only a problem if you make it a problem. If she is going out with you, she doesn't care.. that is really all that matters. The only advice I have for you is not to try and be something you are not. There is nothing more unattractive than an older man trying to dress and behave like he is in his 20s.

Also don't try to be her 'dad' by offering her life advice, don't judge her... let her be a chick in her 20s. When you are out with a younger woman, you will get attention, people will stare at you, and some might even joke if she is your 'niece', you have to be completely nonreactive to that. Just ignore it. If she likes you, she will not care if you don't care... it's really that simple.

 

[StrayCat]

I'm 52 and date women in their late twenties occasionally. Age is only a problem if you make it a problem. If she is going out with you, she doesn't care.. that is really all that matters. The only advice I have for you is not to try and be something you are not. There is nothing more unattractive than an older man trying to dress and behave like he is in his 20s.

Also don't try to be her 'dad' by offering her life advice, don't judge her... let her be a chick in her 20s. When you are out with a younger woman, you will get attention, people will stare at you, and some might even joke if she is your 'niece', you have to be completely nonreactive to that. Just ignore it. If she likes you, she will not care if you don't care... it's really that simple.

I never tried to give any advice, so that wasn't an issue. Hard to tell. Usually, if a woman has a good time, they text you after.

 

[RangerMIke]

I've had women stay around for a couple of hours or so and then just ghost.

Yep, the only way to be sure if the date went well in her mind is if she will see you again. We've all had dates that we thought went well and ended up nowhere... you just never know.

No, I didn't text to make sure she got home okay.

Good, never do this sh!t, especially with a younger women... it makes you sound like a dad, which is NOT what you want. If she texts you fine, respond... that is a good sign.

She did ask if she'd see me at tennis next week, I said I didn't know.

Not a bad sign, but really don't put too much value in that because it really all depends on HOW she said this. My best advice is if you hear a chick say something like this, imagine if this was one of you guy friends asking you this... if they way she asked you would question your friend's gender preference, than maybe you have something.

She did say she was open to coming to my town and check out the brewery near me and axe throwing; but who knows what's real or what's just talk.

Could be nothing, it really all depends on how it came up. If it was blerted out like a complete non-sequitur, then it could be a hint that she wants to see you again. Always pay attention to things chicks say that come right out of left field. Especially if it's something she thinks might impress you... when this happens you should always acknowledge that whatever she said is in some way impressive, you might not really care about it, but you should recognize that this is something that sets her apart. For example, the axe throwing... your best response here would have been "Ax throwing! Wow I don't know any women that would be interested in that, that's pretty cool." Even if you really don't give a fvck about ax throwing recognize that not too many women would want to do that. This is important for a couple of reasons: (1) It proves you are listening to her and you are responding to what she is saying. (2) She has to feel like she is worthy of your attraction... dudes fvck this up all the time... this is really important because she is actually starting to sell herself to you... and you have to let her do this so you think she is worthy of the chase. Guys typically are so concerned with selling themselves that they ignore signs that the chick is starting to sell herself to them.

She did dress well for the even too, a bit better than me; though, she did say she liked my shoes. I think I should had responded, is that all you like? But I missed that opportunity.

Good sign. On the shoes, that is a good sign as well. Chicks always notice the little things that we normally do not think about. You can have on a $1,000 suit, but she will notice if your socks don't match, or if your shoes aren't shinned. Impression is in the details.

She told me she bumped me last week for yoga class that she hadn't gone to in a couple of weeks. Then she said, but I skipped it this week to come grab a drink with you.

That really doesn't mean anything, all it really means is that yoga is important to her. For me, since I practice yoga it would have been a great opportunity to build some rapport. If you don't practice, then it was a good opportunity to ask her about it... how long she has been practicing? How she got into it? You can even say something like "I was wondering why you look so fit." Then have some fun with it... challenge her to show you some poses. You can turn this sexual with a little innuendo, you don't want to be a pig on a first date, but you do need to let the chick know you have a penis.

So, it's hard to read her true interest.

Reading a woman's interest is like predicting the weather... you really don't know what it is until you are standing outside.

I was thinking, possibly when I see her in person again to ask what she's doing over the weekend and maybe we'll plan an activity, but we'll see. They just opened an indoor skydiving place near her, so I thought that would be a cool experience for both of us. I also won free tickets from raffle, so it wouldn't cost me anything and then we can get drinks after.

The skydiving date is a good idea... you plan it, you tell her when you are going and invite her along... do not bring her into the 'planning' process. Women hate that sh!t. If she says no, ask another woman. When you are in a relationship with a woman, then yes... you have to plan things together but it's too soon to start asking her an opinion, you are requesting she take ownership of the date... she doesn't like this, because are requesting she commit to something she isn't sure about.

All I can do is try.

Wrong mindset brother. Always understand there is really nothing you can do to attract a woman, she's either into you or she is not. There is nothing you can do to drive up her interest, all you can do is fvck sh!t up and lower it. Her interest naturally goes up if she likes you and you continue to act like a man.

 

[StrayCat]

Yep, the only way to be sure if the date went well in her mind is if she will see you again. We've all had dates that we thought went well and ended up nowhere... you just never know.

Good, never do this sh!t, especially with a younger women... it makes you sound like a dad, which is NOT what you want. If she texts you fine, respond... that is a good sign.

Not a bad sign, but really don't put too much value in that because it really all depends on HOW she said this. My best advice is if you hear a chick say something like this, imagine if this was one of you guy friends asking you this... if they way she asked you would question your friend's gender preference, than maybe you have something.

Could be nothing, it really all depends on how it came up. If it was blerted out like a complete non-sequitur, then it could be a hint that she wants to see you again. Always pay attention to things chicks say that come right out of left field. Especially if it's something she thinks might impress you... when this happens you should always acknowledge that whatever she said is in some way impressive, you might not really care about it, but you should recognize that this is something that sets her apart. For example, the axe throwing... your best response here would have been "Ax throwing! Wow I don't know any women that would be interested in that, that's pretty cool." Even if you really don't give a fvck about ax throwing recognize that not too many women would want to do that. This is important for a couple of reasons: (1) It proves you are listening to her and you are responding to what she is saying. (2) She has to feel like she is worthy of your attraction... dudes fvck this up all the time... this is really important because she is actually starting to sell herself to you... and you have to let her do this so you think she is worthy of the chase. Guys typically are so concerned with selling themselves that they ignore signs that the chick is starting to sell herself to them.


Good sign. On the shoes, that is a good sign as well. Chicks always notice the little things that we normally do not think about. You can have on a $1,000 suit, but she will notice if your socks don't match, or if your shoes aren't shinned. Impression is in the details.

That really doesn't mean anything, all it really means is that yoga is important to her. For me, since I practice yoga it would have been a great opportunity to build some rapport. If you don't practice, then it was a good opportunity to ask her about it... how long she has been practicing? How she got into it? You can even say something like "I was wondering why you look so fit." Then have some fun with it... challenge her to show you some poses. You can turn this sexual with a little innuendo, you don't want to be a pig on a first date, but you do need to let the chick know you have a penis.


Reading a woman's interest is like predicting the weather... you really don't know what it is until you are standing outside.

The skydiving date is a good idea... you plan it, you tell her when you are going and invite her along... do not bring her into the 'planning' process. Women hate that sh!t. If she says no, ask another woman. When you are in a relationship with a woman, then yes... you have to plan things together but it's too soon to start asking her an opinion, you are requesting she take ownership of the date... she doesn't like this, because are requesting she commit to something she isn't sure about.

Wrong mindset brother. Always understand there is really nothing you can do to attract a woman, she's either into you or she is not. There is nothing you can do to drive up her interest, all you can do is fvck sh!t up and lower it. Her interest naturally goes up if she likes you and you continue to act like a man.

I did respond about the axe throwing when she said cool, let's do it, interesting. When I meant try, I meant try as in I can approach again and see if she wants to do something. If I go to tennis next week, I was just going to say, hey I'm going indoor skydiving on Saturday around 7:30. You should come. If she says, she can't or has other plans, I was going to say cancel them. You'll have more fun with me anyway. If she declines, I would just say no worries. If you change your mind, you have my number and leave it at that. I wouldn't offer an invite moving forward. Though, I did nudge her jokingly about being bumped for Yoga and her b-tchiness when we first met. She seems like react positively to the aggressive and direct approach that way. However, she said she was ticklish, so I tickled her a little, and she seemed to get annoyed, but with a smile and smirk. So it was hard to say. She certainly has an edgy side to her. She shown me who she dressed up as for Halloween, wow.

I did ask her about yoga, and I do yoga as well. I did some terms were eluded to sex through yoga and during other things, she did state you like to turn things sexual don't you? I just smirked. I threw out the sexual innuendoes to gear the date towards a more sexual tone so she knows where I stand and what I want. I read Mode One, and it says to be more direct and go after what I wanted, so I was pretty blunt. I also had six shots of their flights so I was buzzed. She did as well, but she handles liquor better than me. I do not usually drink. I am sure I looked blazed a bit. If she would had texted, I'd feel a bit more confident on where we stand. Right now, I'm not feeling to positive about it.

 

[StrayCat]

@RangerMIke, I was reviewing your post here (https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/top-5-signs-of-high-interest-and-low-interest.239492/), and a brief time towards the end she did cross her arms and legs. She was still looking and facing me, but her arms were crossed and her legs were crossed but now leaning towards the right.

1. Eye contact. - Yes - Always direct.
2. Nervous behavior. - She was mostly smiling and laughing, she may had been a bit nervous, but not sure.
3. Appears to be interested in what you say. - Yes.
4. Works to keep your attention. Yes - When there was dead silence, she was the one who usually broke it.
5. Touching - More me to her, but there was some.

Low Interest -- Pretty much the opposite of above.
1. Looks around the room not at you. - No.
2. Disinterested behavior. - No.
3. Not paying attention to what you say, not asking questions. No. Always was animated and interested in what I said.
4. Plays with her phone, Easily distracted. - No. She just shown me her music class stuff and what she dressed up as Halloween (I asked the question, but she offered to show me)
5. Some chicks just don't touch. If she isn't touching you doesn't really mean anything. But if you is giving you negative BL, (Arms crossed, turning away from you) is low interest. - Some touching and hand holding, but the arms and legs crossed at the end was a bit bothering.

 

[StrayCat]

In my opinion you went from sure-lay to ousted orbiter, because you seem to think that you can simply kino your way into her pants, which I imagine she expects...especially from most 27 year olds.

Your attempting to wipe food from her mouth is odd to me. What makes it odd to me is that you initiated it, and that she refused your effort.

So, when you're on a date with a hot chick and she mentions she has to get up early tomorrow, you have likely already WAY overextended your welcome, so you IMMEDIATELY tell her that you're gonna get the check and make sure she gets home ASAP. You end the date immediately. You take charge. You show that she is NOT that important to you.

Always be the one who ends the date. ALWAYS.

Be the man that made her ask you out to begin with. A 27-year-old chick, whom I assume is beautful, asked YOU out. Asked for YOUR number...yet you asked us for pointers?? Something about that doesn't make sense to me.

Limit your kino to the beginning of the date: non-creepy, respectful hug, and at the end of the date: a kiss goodnight after walking her to her car. Do NOT get carried away when you kiss goodnight. Reach for tits ass and vagina only if she welcomes a few rounds of your long hot kisses. If you reach for those spots and she resists, (much like your food-wiping attempt)...do NOT try it again until SHE invites you there.

Also again: YOU be the one to end the makeout session because you have to get up early...NOT her.

Listen 80% speak 20%.

Limit first dates to 90 mins. NO EXCEPTIONS. (Well, one exception: she wants to take you back to her place to fvuck).

Not sure what's doesn't make sense. I am a year or so out of my divorce and I am dating again. I've not dated for nearly 10 years. It was from 7:10 - around 9pm. I didn't go for her boobs, butt or vag, just the occasional brush against the hand, arm or leg; nothing risque. She didn't as for my number, she asked me if she wanted to go to this wine & spirits place with her. I said ok, text me your number, and she took her phone out and texted me right there.

I do not know why I attempted to wipe the salt away from the lip, I had six shots, I was a bit tipsy. I was about to call it a night, when she said she had to get up at 5am the next morning for music rehersal and then went into what she was doing and why she was getting up early. So I said let's get out of here, I grabbed our coats, put her's on, she said said wow, such a gentleman, I put mine on and I walked her to her car. She repeated again that I was a gentleman to walk her to her car. She turned and we hugged and I walked to my car.

So I should basically bail on this one, just do nothing and just show up to tennis on Monday and move on?

 

[RangerMIke]

@RangerMIke, I was reviewing your post here (https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/top-5-signs-of-high-interest-and-low-interest.239492/), and a brief time towards the end she did cross her arms and legs. She was still looking and facing me, but her arms were crossed and her legs were crossed but now leaning towards the right.

Really all those as signs when you first meet a woman... if you already have her on a date then her interest is high enough. So I'm not surprised she was giving you signs of interest... all that means if she is doing that on a date is that you didn't mess up. So good for you.

When you are actually on a date it's a little different, because it really all depends on how you behave and what you are doing... you've been out of dating for awhile, so you're going to be rusty. And it takes time to get over a divorce, you get used to dealing with one woman for awhile and things get stale. After my divorce I didn't try to date for a year and a half, and it took me 3 months to knock the rust off... my first few dates after I started back up again were epic disasters. But like in all things, the more practice you get the easier it comes.

Things like is she asking you questions about you, is a good sign. If she shares personal things about herself... also good. She touches you first, laughs at your attempts at humor, shows up looking good. Hints at seeing you again... you had fun, the most important, because if you aren't having fun, then why would you do it again?

But really none of that matters, I have had awesome first dates and later couldn't get the chick out again to save my life. The reason is that chicks are all about the moment... you could have an awesome date with lots of chemistry, and after she might meet a dude she likes better and then you take a back seat.... or she gets a text from her mom telling her her sister is getting divorced... or is pregnant.... or is getting married... and everything changes. It's not just you and her... it is you and her + all the other sh1t going on in her life.

You try to make a second date and if she says anything other than a definitive yes or a legitimate counter to see you again, assume it's no and back off... try again later if you want, sometimes it works, usually it doesn't... but just wait for her to reach out again and then try to set up another date.

Meanwhile, don't sit around waiting for her emotional soup to settle in her brain, go meet other women and make other dates. It's really a numbers game, not every chick is going to want you are selling, you have to keep looking for customers.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

You are killing your vibe with over-analysis here. Seriously. If you like her you wait a day or two and you text her. You could say something as simple as "Tennis actually works in my schedule after all this week. See you there." Nothing more. That communication is not requesting a response. You are making a direct statement about what YOU are going to be doing. If she responds then communicate further. But know that less is more.

Chill and quit worrying so much over this date. Better yet, get out there this weekend on your own and talk to people and be social. Immerse yourself in the social scene. You don't even need to stay out late. In fact, you are more mysterious if you don't. If you meet one or two other women over the weekend you'll boost your confidence and you'll relax a bit. The impression I get is super excited bouncing puppy dog vibe. That will kill your chances even if she was the one who started off things.

I don't mean to be quite so blunt (well, yes, actually I do), but you need to understand that cool and chill and nonchalant wins the day here. I don't care how hot she is. You gotta play it cool. Get her selling herself to you. But also be the man an lead; initiate. That's the point of the text I suggested above. Wait til Sunday to send it. Let her wonder what you did this weekend.

 

[StrayCat]

I know my antics sound strange, and it's not like being or acting like an exciting puppy dog, but I see how it can come across like that. Sometimes my analytical mind goes into overdrive and I go through different versions in my head on how a situation can come out. I do this business too; which it helps at times because I can then have an automatic reaction to any possible scenario that can occur. The unfortunate part is that it sometimes spills into my personal thoughts. That's when I run all different scenarios in my head on how to react to each situation instantaneously w/o thinking. Works in business, but can drive a person crazy in one's personal life.

Anyways, I understand what bot @RangerMIke and @BeExcellent are telling me, and I appreciate it. Tennis is Monday night, so I will text her Sunday night just saying I had a great time and see if she wants to join me for an activity Saturday night. I haven't determined which yet, as there are a few in the area that I wanted to go to. If she says no or can I let you know, I'll just withdraw and say another time then and active CCC on Monday the best I can. Just an awkward position for me to be in.

 

[Murk]

You’re over thinking, I wouldn’t even text her if she hasn’t texted me. Rock up to tennis, engage other people, when you see her and talk say you has a great time and then go into your plan of inviting her out, in person.

After that you’ll know.

 

[RickTheToad]

Going to have agree with @Murkserious. Since she invited you in person, you should really do the same. I get you are concerned that she didn't text you, but that could be one of three things. One, she doesn't want to seem overly interested and is still gauging your interest. Two, following some rule book that she wants to hear from you first. Three, didn't have a good time; which doesn't seem true. Shows more balls if you do it in person. The ladies like bold and spur of the moment activities. Plus, you not contacting her for almost a week will also a work in your favor. If she's attractive as you say she is, I am sure the other dudes she's fvcking with contact her with no avail. If she says no or can't, yes, you can say cancel them or something, as that would look very bold. If she says let you know, say, something to the regard that I see you're busy, and withdraw the offer. No other offers moving forward and let her run after you. Also, follow Alpha Male Strategies on Youtube. You not contacting her so fast and being bold by asking her in person, would look much better than text. You can call her to, but I do not think many ladies in their mid 20's use their phones for talking (weird, I know). Being aloof and mysterious, such as @BeExcellent suggests will only build on her interest. Let her miss you and wonder what is @StrayCat doing? It seems like a decent date, the salt thing, I don't know. You're on a date, and you are not really strangers, I do not think it was that big of a deal. Be bold and unpredictable. Oh, you pick her up, don't meet her there if she agrees to go with you. Again, as @RangerMIke suggests, say you are going and offer to take her along. You want to do this to show hey, I'm going to have a good time, with you are not. If you want to have an experience with me, come along. If not, that's okay. The way to get a lady interested and raise her interest level is to connect with them on an emotional level. If you can go with something that would be an experience, you'd get a lot more cred than drinks again.

Plus, just thought of this, it seemed pretty bold for her to ask you in person, asking on text, she might lose respect for you. Her interest level is prob. around a 6. Depending on how you play this, you can raise it easily to an 8 or drop it below a 5. Below a 5, she will not go out with you. 8 or higher, she'll fvck you. I assume that's the end game. The only way to do this is being chill, nonchalant and say it off the cuff. Now, if she reaches out to you, that's a different story. It seems both of you are keeping things to your chest waiting to see who moves first. Remember, she's the 27 y.o., you are the 43 y.o. That means YOU MAKE THE MOVE. She'll prob. hold you at a higher standard than a dude her age because of this. I disagree respectfully with @Espi. As long as you didn't grab her ass or other lady parts, you are fine. Regardless, you have to take a shot or guaranteed you'll get no where with her. Just my thoughts.

 

[StrayCat]

Just an update. This one is dead. She responded pretty quickly, but said she had plans next Saturday. I suggested for her to cancel, she said she can't but said maybe another time (unlike the first time when she gave an alternative date). Not a good response. Can't say I didn't try. Feel like a fool, so going to skip tennis for a couple of weeks to regroup.

 

[Mazer]

Go to Tennis. Sounds like this one is done. Based on my experience (100+ dates) when a woman mentions getting up early the next day for whatever, it’s never a good sign. She didn’t text you when she was home is also a bad sign. Put your head up high and go play tennis. Don’t let this woman who you had one date with control your life. You feel like a fool because you were rejected, it’s normal. Move onto the next woman, you will be rejected many more times, it’s part of the process, learn from each rejection and work on your game. You will get to a point where you will laugh off rejection because you know there will always be another woman right around the corner. You aren’t there yet but you will get there.

 

[Mazer]

Just an update. This one is dead. She responded pretty quickly, but said she had plans next Saturday. I suggested for her to cancel, she said she can't but said maybe another time (unlike the first time when she gave an alternative date). Not a good response. Can't say I didn't try. Feel like a fool, so going to skip tennis for a couple of weeks to regroup.

There you have it.