"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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First approach

Mbuckets82

Don Juan
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Alright, so I went to an upper end grocery store in my area and saw one attractive female there, so I approached. After I talked about the store and making a joke about what was in her cart, I froze and went blank. I wanted to at least ask her name and number. Didn’t even do that.

Im guessing more of this and i won’t be a broken robot.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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badboyjmm

Senior Don Juan
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Exactly. Practice makes perfect !
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
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You did a cold approach. That's more than a lot of folks do. Plus, it's a start and with each situation (no one bats 100%) we learn and improve our odds. Keep it up!
 

biggoal

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Speaking of grocery stores, what do you think about being an employee at one and chatting it up with customers? I rarely do that.

My reasoning is because I look like a min wage loser in my uniform. I work part time a couple days a week at the local grocery store still just for some extra cash while my business grows. I mean, for a 20 year old that's not a big deal working in a grocery store and flirting with young girls, but someone in their 30s working at a grocery store and they will think you're a loser even though I own a small business. granted the customers think I'm a kid when they look at me.

I think this is a problem too. The RARE instances I see someone in my area on OLD I never get a reply. We only have two grocery stores in this town. So there is a good chance the girl on OLD has seen me working there and thinks loser. Because I have no problems getting replies from HB7s on up outside of this town, it's just in this town I get hardly any replies. Hell, I can message someone 50 miles away and they will talk to me or will go on a date with me in a few cases.
 

GrowingPains

Master Don Juan
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My reasoning is because I look like a min wage loser in my uniform.
You don't look like one. You feel like one. Sup cutting yourself as a loser.

Anyways, good stuff OP. Keep the momentum up. Practice makes permanent. You can't be perfect in every situation. But you can be increasingly comfortable by exposing yourself to a lot of new situations. So that when they come around the next time, you are familiar and know how to execute. So get another one, and another one, and.. you get the jist.

Failure (freezing, rejection, saying something stupid) is part of the game. Don't fear it. Without failure, success has no meaning.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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xplt

Master Don Juan
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You don't look like one. You feel like one. Sup cutting yourself as a loser.
That's self limitting Belief. Sets you up for self-fulfilling prophecy.
How you think is how you are is how you present yourself and interact with others.
 
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