"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Finding out Who you Really Are.

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SiYuan, I think your football coach tried to tell you that you should stop trying to be something you are not. I'm not saying you shouldn't be a football player, but simply stop trying to be one that you aren't.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a scientist. A researcher high up in his ivory tower, looking for the Truth in the Universe. I wanted to be like Einstein. Respected. Admired. Revered. Busy with discovering the beauty of existence.

A kid sees a superhero on TV and dreams to be like that from that point. He longs for the admiration and respect the hero begets for his daring deeds at helping people in misery. For years, he tries to be that superhero, only to meet failure every step of the way. He's trying to be someone and something that he's not. He trying to do things the way someone else does them, which are not his way.

I stopped wanting to be Einstein after 20 years when I really realized that I'm really good with people, not particularly so with numbers and abstracts. I stopped wanting to be Einstein when I stopped mistaking my interest in physics and my appreceation for the importance of people like him, for my own destiny in life.

The kid who wanted to be a superhero fell three stories from his apartment building when he was 20. He tried to jump to the next building, acting on his fantasy and convinced it was "not that far". He's been in a wheelchair ever since because he broke his neck, and now he's now standing up for people publicly to advocate facilities for the physically impaired.

He's using his strong inner desire to help people. Just not the way he always thought he should.

I stopped feeling a need to be respected like Einstein for unravelling the secrets of the Universe when I found out who I am and what I stand for and when I got respected for that. Now I am on my way to do my thing to unravel the most important Universe of all: the inner soul. No longer am I desperately looking to be loved and admired by trying to be someone I'm not and will never will be, because I mistook my desire for something for something else. I'm now respected and appreciated for who I am. And I no longer need that admiration and respect. I'm simply who I am and I believe in my value. I'm me. That comfort is all the love and respect I need.

Life teaches us the lessons we need to learn. How? By simply living it, we are taught. We finally learn by becoming quiet and attuned to our inner universe and listening to ourselves.

Don't try to be someone you're not. Just be you. Appreciate you. Appreciate your love for the things you love and find important. Regardless of what others think of them. By listening to yourself, you'll find out who you are. By becoming more like who you are, you find yourself. And as yourself, remaining respectful and humble to others without allowing them to trump all over you, you are able to be yourself.

That's the Truth of the Universe. Einstein discovered that too and in that, I'm exactly like him after all.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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izza

Master Don Juan
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SiYuan said:
I have no idea what's clustering at all. By googling it means writing whatever's on my mind at the moment? But right now I feel like I'm at the point where, I can't get myself to write it down because I'm not sure if it's really me, or the media and influences talking through me. Whether it's really what I am or is it what I fantasize about.
Hey SiYuan,

I know what you mean - it's hard to tell what's culture and what's at our core.

I actually think that would be a great way to start your first cluster.

http://bubbl.us/

Maybe you'll find this helpful. If you make a bubble for society's beliefs, one for your beliefs, and start sorting out which is which, maybe you'll find you like it. Also, don't dismiss this sort of thing until you've tried it three times.

Best wishes,
Izza
 

Da Realist

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I forgot where I read this story, but there was Japanese lord who had a tea maker that was on the best in Japan. One day, the lord dressed the tea maker up as a samurai and wanted him to run an errand. Of course the tea maker was suprised and frightened because he knew he could never be a samurai; plus he worried about what would happen if he met another samurai who would want a fight. Sure enough while he was out, another samurai saw him and challenged him to a duel. Not wantig shame his lord, the tea maker accepted the challenge eventhough he was scared out of his mind. Thinking he wasn't going to win, he went to see a swordmaster to learn how to die honorable. After the swordmaster found out the guy was a tea maker, he told him to make a cup of tea. As scared as the tea maker had been all day, he became serious and determined when he made tea because it was the one thing he was really good at. The swordmaster then told him if he would face the samurai with the same attitude, he would die honorably. The next day, the tea maker met the samurai for their duel. The day before, the tea maker seemed uncomfortable in his samurai garb, but today he looked serious and determined just like when he made tea. The samurai saw it and became scared before the duel began because of how the tea maker looked and kneeled down to beg for forgiveness. It turned out that the samurai only wanted a fight because the tea maker seemed weak, but when the tea maker set in his mind he was going to die as a tea maker instead of pretending to be a samurai, the man thought he would die instead.

The moral of the story is to play to your strength and stop worrying about what you're not.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DonGorgon

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Studying the fact that all lies contain fragments
You are nothing... nothing but a man competing with other men for females... you win some you loose some ten you grow old and die. Nature only bore you in hopes that you would procreate and keep the human race going... everything else is fluff than some like to talk and think about.
 

SiYuan

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Alexander the Great said:
SiYuan, I think your football coach tried to tell you that you should stop trying to be something you are not. I'm not saying you shouldn't be a football player, but simply stop trying to be one that you aren't.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a scientist. A researcher high up in his ivory tower, looking for the Truth in the Universe. I wanted to be like Einstein. Respected. Admired. Revered. Busy with discovering the beauty of existence.

A kid sees a superhero on TV and dreams to be like that from that point. He longs for the admiration and respect the hero begets for his daring deeds at helping people in misery. For years, he tries to be that superhero, only to meet failure every step of the way. He's trying to be someone and something that he's not. He trying to do things the way someone else does them, which are not his way.

I stopped wanting to be Einstein after 20 years when I really realized that I'm really good with people, not particularly so with numbers and abstracts. I stopped wanting to be Einstein when I stopped mistaking my interest in physics and my appreceation for the importance of people like him, for my own destiny in life.

The kid who wanted to be a superhero fell three stories from his apartment building when he was 20. He tried to jump to the next building, acting on his fantasy and convinced it was "not that far". He's been in a wheelchair ever since because he broke his neck, and now he's now standing up for people publicly to advocate facilities for the physically impaired.

He's using his strong inner desire to help people. Just not the way he always thought he should.

I stopped feeling a need to be respected like Einstein for unravelling the secrets of the Universe when I found out who I am and what I stand for and when I got respected for that. Now I am on my way to do my thing to unravel the most important Universe of all: the inner soul. No longer am I desperately looking to be loved and admired by trying to be someone I'm not and will never will be, because I mistook my desire for something for something else. I'm now respected and appreciated for who I am. And I no longer need that admiration and respect. I'm simply who I am and I believe in my value. I'm me. That comfort is all the love and respect I need.

Life teaches us the lessons we need to learn. How? By simply living it, we are taught. We finally learn by becoming quiet and attuned to our inner universe and listening to ourselves.

Don't try to be someone you're not. Just be you. Appreciate you. Appreciate your love for the things you love and find important. Regardless of what others think of them. By listening to yourself, you'll find out who you are. By becoming more like who you are, you find yourself. And as yourself, remaining respectful and humble to others without allowing them to trump all over you, you are able to be yourself.

That's the Truth of the Universe. Einstein discovered that too and in that, I'm exactly like him after all.

Right now I'm in this crossroad where I'm not sure what's me and what's not. After that homework set by my coach I realized that I have been completely living an identity for which I do not know what.

I will love to be just me, if I know what I am. I can be a total geek or nerd and I'd love it. But I do not know, whether it's me saying that I'm really that, or me wanting to be that.
 

SiYuan

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izza said:
Hey SiYuan,

I know what you mean - it's hard to tell what's culture and what's at our core.

I actually think that would be a great way to start your first cluster.

http://bubbl.us/

Maybe you'll find this helpful. If you make a bubble for society's beliefs, one for your beliefs, and start sorting out which is which, maybe you'll find you like it. Also, don't dismiss this sort of thing until you've tried it three times.

Best wishes,
Izza
Cheers mate will do that now and report it back here.
 

Blue Phoenix

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Take a look:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/2546/Understanding-Your-Fears-Helps-You-Know-Yourself
http://www.universallawstoday.com/ebooks/KnowYourOwnMind.pdf

Actually the books I´ve read have helped me understand myself better. I used to say yes to everyone, thus I had a problem (and kind of have still) of assertiveness. I used to say bad things about myself without ever thinking. I used to blame myfelf for every bad outcome, etc. There are many things in yourself that you can go fixing, of course there´s no end to it (as we´re human beings), but´s that´s the idea. You have to find out where you´re weak, then you go after the solutions (books, etc). Each person has a tendency, you may be too aggressive, or too passive, both are equally "not good".
 

TheDoctor

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In Reality
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Warrior74

Master Don Juan
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You are what you choose to do in times of stress. In a crisis, do you run? Do you stand brave? Do you shirk responsibility? To you take the lead when no one else will lead? When you are tested will you stand up and do what is best for youself? Your family? Your friends? Your team? Your tribe? Who do you put first?

I had a crazy night last night and these thoughts were on my mind when I got home. I saw the true character of some people and I saw a lot about my own and I know what sort of person I am in a time of crisis and I know what's right and what's wrong and I know that my choices are my own. No excuses, no bull**** with myself.
 
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