"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Filling the Void
- Thread starter Casino
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Damian
Senior Don Juan
No seriously...reading sucks up a lot of time, and it may even be more productive. And heck, you can even use it as a pickup tool.
GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS
And, by OUT, i mean anywhere outside. Go arrange a football game or something. Maybe just walk around the city and chill. Go for coffee.
DO ANYTHING
Life is out there, just do it.
-Damian
organizedconfusion
Master Don Juan
take "mini-vacations" where you drive to neighboring cities
just to hang out.
Congratulations! You now have more free time than you know what to do with.
First things first. Sit back, take a deep breath, and relax.
TV is not good for you. You can't even figure out what to do when you're not watching it!
I found that it took many hobbies to replace TV. It's up to you to find some hobbies. In any case, I replaced my TV by finding hobbies so that I don't have any free time afterall. I keep myself busy as a way of deciding what I do with my own free time. Before, with TV, my schedule may have looked like this:
8-5 school/work/errands
5-6 after-work duties/TV if none
6-7 Dinner (while watching TV)
7-12 TV/internet (at the same time!)
That was the base schedule, unless something interrupted it - and friends often did. I just defaulted towards watching TV or getting on the internet unless I had something better to do.
To replace the downtime, I adopted a few time consuming hobbies and set goals for progress in those hobbies, then I set time aside for them. I know spend about an hour a day playing my guitar - sometimes more, sometimes not at all. I also work on programming at least three times a week, workout at the gym almost every other day, make sure to eat healthy, and at the same time mantain a healthy social life by inviting people out to dinner, lunch, drinks, etc. almost every night of the week. Combine this with work and school, and now I couldn't watch TV if I wanted to. I'd have to give something else up.
Just find something that you enjoy, and make sure you keep your attention by setting a goal related to it. In other words, don't just play the guitar. Make a goal to master the guitar. But also be realistic, and know that you wont master it right away, so set smaller goals as well - for example, to learn a song. And learn some scales, and some chords. Then make a goal to learn your favorite song. Or ten songs. Or to write a song. Just keep raising your expectations and then meeting them. The cycle becomes quite addictive.
Take up a few hobbies to spend your time on, and maintain a healthy social life. You will be a much happier and interesting person for it.
BrotherAP
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Lost In Translation
Master Don Juan
gardening
fishing
driving around listening to music
exercise
build something
go for a walk
wavejams007
Master Don Juan
BuckwildNYC
Senior Don Juan
bbestar
Banned
Listen to Classic Christian Bible on your nearest bbnradio.org station
Rec_rejection_phobic
Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2005
- Messages
- 80
- Reaction score
- 0
-go to the gym
-go clean up the garage (or work on something in the garage.)
-go to the mall and walk around the shops
-go to the hardware store and look around.
-see what your freinds are doing.
i got my tv time down to two hours a day. last week i didn't watch it for 4 days strait.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.