For the last year of my life I have pretty much taken myself out of the game. This past week I started going out more and on Monday I met a very cool girl then again on Saturday I met another. What is weird about the one on Saturday is this, I have met her at least 10 times before. But she saw me in our crowd of mutual friends and walks up "I don't think we've ever met." I say "sure we have". Well we start talking and I knew she had a boyfriend so I ask about him. All she says is that "he moved". We then make plans to hang out on my b-day, which she insisted that I call her on that day. Strange thing is that I resemble her man from what I remember. Will I just be filling in for him?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Filling In?
- Thread starter Disco
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
Meet up with her and find out...and have a bit of fun while youre at it 
biker_gixxer
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 3, 2004
- Messages
- 688
- Reaction score
- 0
Exactly....Originally posted by dearsappho
Meet up with her and find out...and have a bit of fun while youre at it
Do you already think that you want a long term and meaningful relationship with her after a tenth meeting and one b-day get together? With a response to the boyfriend inquire such as "he moved", it doesn't sound like that's what she's expecting out of you.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.