For the last year of my life I have pretty much taken myself out of the game. This past week I started going out more and on Monday I met a very cool girl then again on Saturday I met another. What is weird about the one on Saturday is this, I have met her at least 10 times before. But she saw me in our crowd of mutual friends and walks up "I don't think we've ever met." I say "sure we have". Well we start talking and I knew she had a boyfriend so I ask about him. All she says is that "he moved". We then make plans to hang out on my b-day, which she insisted that I call her on that day. Strange thing is that I resemble her man from what I remember. Will I just be filling in for him?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Filling In?
- Thread starter Disco
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
Meet up with her and find out...and have a bit of fun while youre at it 
biker_gixxer
Master Don Juan
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Exactly....Originally posted by dearsappho
Meet up with her and find out...and have a bit of fun while youre at it
Do you already think that you want a long term and meaningful relationship with her after a tenth meeting and one b-day get together? With a response to the boyfriend inquire such as "he moved", it doesn't sound like that's what she's expecting out of you.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.