Field Report: Time Constraint & Abundance

[Konada]

I had 3 dates lined up for this week, 1 lined up on Friday and 2 lined up on Saturday. 2 HB8s and 1 HB6, both of the 8s flaked which means probably my SMV isn't high enough yet. Thanks to @guru1000 to putting me on this road.

Its pretty amazing since I don't remember much of what I said. Just knew that I turned up looking good and didn't read so much into signals of interest. I maintained a very present attitude that I lived in abundance and had the time constraint of meeting my friends later for drinks (though I didn't tell her this).

We had coffee and then took a nice walk along the riverside. Perhaps its a sign of being present in the moment because I literally cannot remember any moment where I was in my head thinking about the signs of interest or what not. I was focused on enjoying myself and expressing how I feel at that time. Kino never came easier for me than today, literally everything was like clockwork, I wasn't particularly aware of how I escalated but I just knew I did.

Probably the corniest thing I told her, with boldness is 'Let me tell you a secret. I would totally kiss you right now, but there's too many people around.' She laughed, 'Why would you want to kiss me?' I gave her a smile and kept silent. Twenty minutes later, we were making out on the garden rooftop. I had an gut feeling I could've pulled the trigger way earlier but my head got in the way during the earlier part of the date. Lots of sh!t tests along the way but this time I was so centered around my own frame that it practically didn't register in me. I responded when and how I wanted to. The major sticking point why she agreed to go out with me was simply because I was bold and direct in asking her out and it felt pretty good to hear someone say 'You're interesting' after all the years of work I have put into myself to develop my personality.

Alas, I cut the date short and she clearly seemed into me, hugging me, wrapping her arms around me. We made out a few more times along the way to the subway where we parted ways, with her occasionally hinting at future meetups. Could've gotten way more from what I felt but logistics were quite bad this time.

I then went to meet my friends and that's where I received a text from her trying to make conversation. Overall, I think I played this one out perfectly not by intention, but just being present.

Possible date 2 f-close, however I don't want to pursue this lead because she wants a relationship while I see no potential in having one with her (red flags came up for me). Some guys might advocate me to just have fun but I see no point in 'dangling the carrot' for something I'm not willing to commit to (at least with her.)

Overall,
Abundance Mentality - Check
Time Constraint - Check
Kiss Close - Check

 

[marmel75]

Stop wasting time on coffee dates...alcohol gets things flowing...you might have missed an opportunity to push the envelope. These days, kissing is the BARE MINIMUM that's expected on a date, and with some women, that's not even the minimum they expect.

 

[guru1000]

I had 3 dates lined up for this week, 1 lined up on Friday and 2 lined up on Saturday. 2 HB8s and 1 HB6, both of the 8s flaked which means probably my SMV isn't high enough yet.

If your SMV wasn't high enough, you wouldn't have scheduled. Flaking happens to all. Hence, double- or triple-booking. As your game becomes stronger, flaking ratios drop.

Its pretty amazing since I don't remember much of what I said. Just knew that I turned up looking good and didn't read so much into signals of interest. I maintained a very present attitude that I lived in abundance and had the time constraint of meeting my friends later for drinks (though I didn't tell her this).

The "battle" is won or lost in the mind. Once you relinquish what a DJ "should" do, then you get out of your head and pay attention to what's actually going on; thus, reading each unique situation on its face as opposed to compartmentalizing within DJ ideologies (such as "must keep the frame," "must do kino now," etc.).

We had coffee and then took a nice walk along the riverside. Perhaps its a sign of being present in the moment because I literally cannot remember any moment where I was in my head thinking about the signs of interest or what not. I was focused on enjoying myself and expressing how I feel at that time. Kino never came easier for me than today, literally everything was like clockwork, I wasn't particularly aware of how I escalated but I just knew I did.

As it should. And the rest is clockwork. No thoughts necessary. You had the correct impetuses in place, abundance and time constraint. The real Konada came through, and you closed the subject. Build on this momentum now for next weekend, double- and triple-headers.

Possible date 2 f-close, however I don't want to pursue this lead because she wants a relationship while I see no potential in having one with her (red flags came up for me). Some guys might advocate me to just have fun but I see no point in 'dangling the carrot' for something I'm not willing to commit to (at least with her.)

Just tell her you're not seeking a relationship, but let's see where "this" goes. Don't conceptualize your subjects' needs. You'd be surprised of the disparity between what a girl says she wants and what arrangement(s), though seemly counterintuitive, she would be willing to entertain.