Field Report: Mall Approaches

[Inc. ©]

So, I just got back from meeting up with another member of this forum at a mall in the LA area. I can't say we were that successful, but we did try some approaches and maybe got over the fear a little bit. It took us a while to get going. First, we said "hi" to a couple girls, then I later attempted 2 approaches.

Approach 1:

I tried the "which cologne is better" approach. Unfortunately the girl was in a rush and didn't seem interested. Plus I was nervous. Anyways, when I asked which cologne to buy, she just said "get [some brand]" and walked away. This approach was unsuccessful, but helped with the next one.

Approach 2:

We were getting discouraged and had to go. On the way out, I approached a girl coming out of Nordstrom. It went like this:

"Mind if I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Are you single?"
"No" <--- with a smile

So it wasn't successful, but I was glad I did it. I will probably try this approach again.


I wish I had more good news for you guys, but it's tough. Hopefully I'll get better at this. Wings help a lot too as far as motivation so if anyone else from SoCal wants to meet up, let me know.

 

[Alphathree]

I think cold approaches are bulls-h-i-t.

Can they be done right? Yes.

Are the worth the effort in any sense of the word? No.

If you HAPPEN to get rapport with a girl while you're out doing something else, great, make your move.

But going out explicitly to do cold approaches? Kinda sad and needy. It sets you up for a bad frame right away.

Do what you want; it's your life. But my general suggestion is that you should expand your social circle and display high value and social proof.

You won't have to do anything "cold", you'll have lots of options and people talking about you.

 

[muttley]

Originally posted by Alphathree
I think cold approaches are bulls-h-i-t.

Can they be done right? Yes.

Are the worth the effort in any sense of the word? No.

If you HAPPEN to get rapport with a girl while you're out doing something else, great, make your move.

But going out explicitly to do cold approaches? Kinda sad and needy. It sets you up for a bad frame right away.

Do what you want; it's your life. But my general suggestion is that you should expand your social circle and display high value and social proof.

You won't have to do anything "cold", you'll have lots of options and people talking about you.

true to extent but then your access to pvssy is limited. What if your network doesnt expand out to that hb9 hottie with big titz? your screwed then right?

cold approaching is a skill and i want to master it. plus its hella fun too

 

[Smooth Player 056]

Cold Approaching is probably one of the best skills you can have.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by Inc. ©
I wish I had more good news for you guys, but it's tough. Hopefully I'll get better at this. Wings help a lot too as far as motivation so if anyone else from SoCal wants to meet up, let me know. [/B]

That is good news that you're out there doing it. :woo: Yeah, having a wing definitely rocks.

I've done approaches in a mall before, so here's a few things I can suggest.

Instead of approaching girls in the main corridor area, approach them in stores (of course, not in clothes stores where they won't give sh*t about you...more casual places like the Brookstone store, for example). If you choose to do approaches in the main area, make sure they are at least sitting down. I think approaches when the woman is walking are very very difficult. Or, at least try the food court, where they may just be standing around in groups.

I think you'll need a lot more rapport than just "are you single?" but, it was a good effort nonetheless.

Keep in mind I've never succeeded in becoming intimate with a girl off a cold approach ...although I will someday for sure

-good luck man

btw, I used to live in SoCal...have you tried The Spectrum in Irvine? or The Block (though The Block is mostly a teenager, low-class place). South Coast plaza is really good, and also Laguna beach. I never actually sarged any of these places when I lived there, but looking back, they seemed great places for when I improved to that level. Also, closer to LA, try the 3rd Street Promenad...I did one approach there once...it's an awesome place for sarging.

I'm gonna be in SoCal in a couple of months...it would be cool to meet up

-h2o

 

[Centaurion]

Cold approaches are pure and simple bullsh!t. So you go out and approach 30 chicks - how many numbers do you get that leads to a hook-up?

Not many at all. Not many.

I don't think it's worth the time actually. Only thing they are good for is to get over that shyness and to build up some confidence.

Hell, go to a party, single out a chick and CHAAAARGE. heh No need for that 'oohh wait 3 days before calling her crap'.

I meet all my hook-ups through my social circle. Think about it. They've already been 'screened' to a degree.

 

[Life-Trainee]

The point of cold approaches is to get over social anxiety and fear of rejection.

 

[Inc. ©]

h20,

We were at South Coast Plaza. Let me know when you're gonna be in the area for sure.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Talk to the female employees. You can always come back another time. Then the approach is not 100% cold.

And here's a mall/retail tip: If you plan to go to a specific store and ask a girl for her number, know the number of the store itself beforehand, so you won't be fooled by her giving you the store number.

 

[h2o]

Hey Inc. ©, clean out your PM box...I cleaned mine out too.

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by Alphathree
I think cold approaches are bulls-h-i-t.

Can they be done right? Yes.

Are the worth the effort in any sense of the word? No.

If you HAPPEN to get rapport with a girl while you're out doing something else, great, make your move.

But going out explicitly to do cold approaches? Kinda sad and needy. It sets you up for a bad frame right away.

Do what you want; it's your life. But my general suggestion is that you should expand your social circle and display high value and social proof.

You won't have to do anything "cold", you'll have lots of options and people talking about you.

NO bro
YOU are setting yourself up for FAILURE.

DO NOT put your NEGATIVE vibe ON OTHERS.
IF U GOT NO POSITIVE
stay quiet
DO U UNDERSTAND

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by 007~JC
Hey man great going. You've taken a step in a direction that most people will never do! And you will fail a lot. However you WILL get really good if you keep it up. And you should man.

Centaurion and Alphathree don't know what they're talking about. Poor guys. And that's too bad because I had a different perception of Centaurion until now...

-007

ya alphatree needs help
AND somehow, when he stops being negative, I will be there
how about you?:woo:

 

[Centaurion]

Originally posted by 007~JC
Centaurion and Alphathree don't know what they're talking about. Poor guys. And that's too bad because I had a different perception of Centaurion until now...

-007

I think that every aspiring DJ goes through several phases, I've simply 'outgrown' cold approaches. I used to do them back in the days when I was unsure of my game, but now I've realized that my chances of hooking up with chicks when they are in my social circle are much much higher. But that's just me. Sure there are people out there that totally rock when it comes to CA.

BUT that doesn't mean I won't approach a hot chick if the oppertunity presents itself. It's just that I don't go out and activily do CAs.

 

[Inc. ©]

Originally posted by Centaurion
BUT that doesn't mean I won't approach a hot chick if the oppertunity presents itself. It's just that I don't go out and activily do CAs.

Well, if you are past your fear, that's great. I'm just doing it to get past the fear and possibly something will come of it, who knows.

 

[KnightRyder]

Originally posted by Inc. ©
So, I just got back from meeting up with another member of this forum at a mall in the LA area. I can't say we were that successful, but we did try some approaches and maybe got over the fear a little bit. It took us a while to get going. First, we said "hi" to a couple girls, then I later attempted 2 approaches.

Approach 1:

I tried the "which cologne is better" approach. Unfortunately the girl was in a rush and didn't seem interested. Plus I was nervous. Anyways, when I asked which cologne to buy, she just said "get [some brand]" and walked away. This approach was unsuccessful, but helped with the next one.

Approach 2:

We were getting discouraged and had to go. On the way out, I approached a girl coming out of Nordstrom. It went like this:

"Mind if I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Are you single?"
"No" <--- with a smile

So it wasn't successful, but I was glad I did it. I will probably try this approach again.


I wish I had more good news for you guys, but it's tough. Hopefully I'll get better at this. Wings help a lot too as far as motivation so if anyone else from SoCal wants to meet up, let me know.

how exactly do you define a 'cold approach'..


do you just just up to any girl without any signals...or do you wait if she gives you a smile or something and then approach

 

[TubularBells28]

Cold approach is when you are in an everyday scenario or place and "attempt" to start up a convo with a girl that you don't know and never talked to before.

 

[h2o]

Re: Re: Field Report: Mall Approaches

Originally posted by KnightRyder
how exactly do you define a 'cold approach'..

do you just just up to any girl without any signals...or do you wait if she gives you a smile or something and then approach

there seems to be differing opinions of what exactly a cold approach is. In my opinion, a cold approach is basically approaching a girl you don’t know because you want to **** her. Making eye contact and smiling before you approach does not refute the fact that it was a cold approach. If you approach without sexual intentions, it was not a cold approach…and if you approach, then lose interest and do not attempt to close, it is still considered an approach.

 

[GropeDope]

Originally posted by Centaurion
I think that every aspiring DJ goes through several phases, I've simply 'outgrown' cold approaches. I used to do them back in the days when I was unsure of my game, but now I've realized that my chances of hooking up with chicks when they are in my social circle are much much higher. But that's just me.

I didn't think you could outgrow cold approaches. Meeting friend through a friend of a friend gets boring as f*ck. At least I know it did for me. That worked for me in middle school and high school but now my social circle has been destroyed, as 95% of the people I knew in my childhood have gone off to other colleges far, far away. I'm left with roommates I couldn't care less about, and 2 old friends that bore the hell out of me if I chill with them too often.

People in my situation have no other choice but to practice cold approaches and network since they're not used to meeting strangers. Why are you trying to put a negative twist on this? People that do cold approaches aren't "just" doing it to try and get laid. It's to develop confidence and realize that you can make it out there on your own without having a group of friends to hold your hand.

I don't like the message you and alphatree are trying to get across here. Basically the hidden message I'm picking up from both of you is that when you're outside of your social circles...you're pretty screwed. Maybe I'm interpreting it wrong but that's what I'm getting here. That's not confidence that's cowardice. That keeps you needy of the same people. That makes it sound like without your friends you are sh!t.

 

[Centaurion]

Originally posted by GropeDope
I didn't think you could outgrow cold approaches. Meeting friend through a friend of a friend gets boring as f*ck. At least I know it did for me. That worked for me in middle school and high school but now my social circle has been destroyed, as 95% of the people I knew in my childhood have gone off to other colleges far, far away. I'm left with roommates I couldn't care less about, and 2 old friends that bore the hell out of me if I chill with them too often.

What ever works for you man.

I live in a pretty big party city and attending University with 45.000+ students, so my social circle is quite larger then yours. I don't need to go out and ACTIVLY do CAs in order to get poon. Right now I can pick up the phone and within 15mins I'll find a party where I can meet chicks.

Originally posted by GropeDope
People in my situation have no other choice but to practice cold approaches and network since they're not used to meeting strangers. Why are you trying to put a negative twist on this? People that do cold approaches aren't "just" doing it to try and get laid. It's to develop confidence and realize that you can make it out there on your own without having a group of friends to hold your hand.

Hey Braniac, read my first post where I said that CAs are a great way to get over that shyness and building up some confidence.

Originally posted by GropeDope
I don't like the message you and alphatree are trying to get across here. Basically the hidden message I'm picking up from both of you is that when you're outside of your social circles...you're pretty screwed. Maybe I'm interpreting it wrong but that's what I'm getting here. That's not confidence that's cowardice. That keeps you needy of the same people. That makes it sound like without your friends you are sh!t.

Listen, I'm a man, I got a pair of balls dangling. I don't have any 'hidden messages'. Unless you are outgoing, confident and willing to take the necessary steps, then yes, you are f*cked if you're out of your social circle. Therefore you should always try to expand your social circle.

And how do you do that?

Yes, it's quite possible to use CAs to build up a social circle, but it takes more time/effort compared to going to a party and meeting people there. I dont know what you are doing, but I'm in a college setting. Meeting new people here is as easy as taking a dump.

 

[Centaurion]

Originally posted by Alphathree
I think cold approaches are bulls-h-i-t.

Can they be done right? Yes.

Are the worth the effort in any sense of the word? No.

If you HAPPEN to get rapport with a girl while you're out doing something else, great, make your move.

But going out explicitly to do cold approaches? Kinda sad and needy. It sets you up for a bad frame right away.

Do what you want; it's your life. But my general suggestion is that you should expand your social circle and display high value and social proof.

You won't have to do anything "cold", you'll have lots of options and people talking about you.

I agree with every single ****ing word in this post.