Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Field Report - Asked woman out and had a date with another woman tonight.

like2jam

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So, I finally manned up and asked this woman out tonight that I have been crushing on.

I've seen her a number of times and conversed with her seriously 2 to 3 times. Tonight, she was really being friendly, asking me questions, like what my plans are this weekend. Lots of eye contact, smiling etc.

I said, hey, we should grab a beverage sometime. She said, yeah that would be fun. ( looking down ) Then... I go for the number. She says, I should tell you, I'm seeing someone. So, if it's not like 'that', then yeah, we could hang out.

I took her number anyway and played it smooth. Just said ok. Chatted a bit then said have a nice weekend and left.

Either she IS seeing someone or she was being nice in rejecting me. She's pretty hot and young (HB7.5/8 ), so I wouldn't be surprised if she is seeing someone.

I don't plan on contacting her. But I may bump into her again in a couple of weeks. I'll just play it smooth and act like I never asked her out.

Meanwhile, had yet another date with a 31 year old woman from OKC. Pretty cute. HB7 territory. The date was HORRIBLE. She was totally self centered and it was obvious we weren't into each other. We had one drink and a few awkward exchanges. I walked her out, gave her a hug and that was that.

All in all, not the best night. However, I feel good that I finally asked a woman out again. FFS. It's been too long. I'm on the road now to getting comfortable doing this all the time.

...and on a somewhat positive note, I have a dinner date with this other woman this weekend. Which will at the very least lead to some heavy duty making out and likely a f close. She does have roommates and I know she has to get up early the next day, so we'll see how long I stay and if I enter the bedroom. :D
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Night-hawk

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Cool.
 

Night-hawk

Master Don Juan
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Cool, guy.
 

jjacob

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Flirty girl was either baiting you to ask to feed her ego or that was a pretty solid hurdle she put up that you possibly smacked right into. Shoulda said "Of course it's like 'that'. Your new guy should watch out, I'll hit you up soon" Then just walked away.
 

like2jam

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jjacob, interesting. I was wondering what a good move might be in that situation. I had no game at that point so yeah, I sorta failed there a bit. I still got the number anyway, but I don't have intention on using it at this point.

I do sort of feel like she was baiting me along. She could have easily mentioned her boyfriend when I asked her if she had anything happening this weekend ( after she asked me about my weekend first ). She knew I was into her, no doubt.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Wolfgang D

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Sounds good! I'd say you can ask that first girl out anyway; maybe a week later, ask her about a specific date. If she says she is busy then, you can drop it. Then maybe pick it up again half a year later - that has worked for me.

Wow, that date with the 31-year-old really crashed and burned, then? I don't think that has happened to me, heh. Usually I keep the conversation going anyway, for maybe forty minutes. Typically leave the coffee/drink place early to go for a walk with the gal instead.

Good luck this weekend!

I am going to a dinner at a girl's place this evening. Did everything exactly right to get this date, pretty proud actually. I should write a Field Report, but I am being lazy.

like2jam said:
jjacob, interesting. I was wondering what a good move might be in that situation. I had no game at that point so yeah, I sorta failed there a bit. I still got the number anyway, but I don't have intention on using it at this point.

I do sort of feel like she was baiting me along. She could have easily mentioned her boyfriend when I asked her if she had anything happening this weekend ( after she asked me about my weekend first ). She knew I was into her, no doubt.
Maybe she enjoyed talking to you. She could have thought of going out with you. You know, girls who want to break up with their boyfriend and find someone new often stays with the old one until they are sure of a replacement; some girls just don't like being single for long, or at all. Oh well, no need to think too hard about just one.
 

like2jam

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The place I was at with the 31 yr old had live music and she is a musician, so she just wanted to listen to that mostly. It was very small and really hard to talk while the singing was going on. Not the best place for a first date. Noted.

We did stay for about 45 minutes to an hour. Still, not too much chatting was done. It's ok though, I wasn't as attracted to her in RL as I thought I would be. A little too tall for me with her body type. I only care about how I handled myself in the situation and how I can improve upon it next time. This process is also making me much more careful about who I will and won't go out with from the dating site.

As for the first girl. I'm going to wait and see how she is 'if' I ever see her again at the place where I met her. I dunno. She's not really on my mind much atm, so that's good.
 

like2jam

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In such a situation as with the girl who has a bf, if she happens to ask me in the future, "hey, I thought we were going to go get a drink sometime?" I'm thinking... ask her if she's still seeing someone and then if she says yes, I'll say well, let me know when that changes.

What would you do?
 
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