"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Field Report: Approach in grocery store

ksoileau

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I spotted this HB8 in a grocery store, and decided to confront my discomfort with cold approaches. She was walking toward the door with flowers in each hand. I approached her from the front:

Me: Excuse me; I noticed you and wanted to introduce myself and get your name.

<She had an uncomfortable look on her face as I said it.>

HB8: Melissa.

Me: I'm ksoileau. Are you having a good Easter?

HB8: I'm about to. <Still with the uncomfortable look>

Me: OK

<then, I ejected>


Post-eject, I realized I might have done better by asking her about the flowers (duh). OK, it was a crash-and-burn but I still feel good about doing a cold approach. I think the next one will be easier.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ksoileau

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Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ
Well...at least you have some confidence to at least try.

Keep it up.

Are you really 48?
Yeah. But I look 38 (grin).
 

Reach

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It seems to me you'd be a lot better off making a neg hit first. Try something like "Woah, those flowers must set you back, oh I don't know, $2!" Download David Deangelo's ebook from morpheus.
 

Archaic

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or not even ask her name, just act like you already know her, strike up a friendly convo, then if you even want to know her name, ask it before she heads out, and give her yours too.
 

duttylove

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" Hi, how you doing"

or even just hi. you dont need to bother with an oppener.

i wouldnt neg hit her rite off the bat shell think your just some jerk. if she gives you attitude then then do it but remeber to smile and EC.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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theSpeculator

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A better approach would've been to ask about the flowers. Then start a genuine conversation about something relating to the flower.

For example:

"Hi, who are those flowers for?"
"They are for my garden"
"Oh, already started working on it so early huh?"
"Ha ha, yeah I guess"
"really, what kind of garden do you have?"
-------

"Hi, I wanted to come here and meet you and get your name" is a very corny and practiced line that will strike you as creepy. She was right to have that uncomfortable look when you talked to her.
 

ksoileau

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Originally posted by theSpeculator
A better approach would've been to ask about the flowers. Then start a genuine conversation about something relating to the flower.

For example:

"Hi, who are those flowers for?"
"They are for my garden"
"Oh, already started working on it so early huh?"
"Ha ha, yeah I guess"
"really, what kind of garden do you have?"
-------

"Hi, I wanted to come here and meet you and get your name" is a very corny and practiced line that will strike you as creepy. She was right to have that uncomfortable look when you talked to her.
I liked your example of a possible convo about the flowers, thanks.
I don't agree that she was RIGHT to have that uncomfortable look. The RIGHT thing was for me to go up and approach her.
 

S0LID

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I hate it when grls have that uncomfortable, why you talking to me look on their face. It's all a numbers game though man, keep up the good work :)
 

Layla

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hmmm... I think that she may have been a bit uncomfortable because you didnt look so friendly?

I used to have a serious face all the time, but now that I smile, people feel more comfortable in my presence.
 
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