"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Field Report: Approach in grocery store

K

ksoileau

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I spotted this HB8 in a grocery store, and decided to confront my discomfort with cold approaches. She was walking toward the door with flowers in each hand. I approached her from the front:

Me: Excuse me; I noticed you and wanted to introduce myself and get your name.

<She had an uncomfortable look on her face as I said it.>

HB8: Melissa.

Me: I'm ksoileau. Are you having a good Easter?

HB8: I'm about to. <Still with the uncomfortable look>

Me: OK

<then, I ejected>


Post-eject, I realized I might have done better by asking her about the flowers (duh). OK, it was a crash-and-burn but I still feel good about doing a cold approach. I think the next one will be easier.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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K

ksoileau

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Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ
Well...at least you have some confidence to at least try.

Keep it up.

Are you really 48?
Click to expand...
Yeah. But I look 38 (grin).
 
R

Reach

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It seems to me you'd be a lot better off making a neg hit first. Try something like "Woah, those flowers must set you back, oh I don't know, $2!" Download David Deangelo's ebook from morpheus.
 
A

Archaic

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or not even ask her name, just act like you already know her, strike up a friendly convo, then if you even want to know her name, ask it before she heads out, and give her yours too.
 
D

duttylove

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" Hi, how you doing"

or even just hi. you dont need to bother with an oppener.

i wouldnt neg hit her rite off the bat shell think your just some jerk. if she gives you attitude then then do it but remeber to smile and EC.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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T

theSpeculator

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A better approach would've been to ask about the flowers. Then start a genuine conversation about something relating to the flower.

For example:

"Hi, who are those flowers for?"
"They are for my garden"
"Oh, already started working on it so early huh?"
"Ha ha, yeah I guess"
"really, what kind of garden do you have?"
-------

"Hi, I wanted to come here and meet you and get your name" is a very corny and practiced line that will strike you as creepy. She was right to have that uncomfortable look when you talked to her.
 
K

ksoileau

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Originally posted by theSpeculator
A better approach would've been to ask about the flowers. Then start a genuine conversation about something relating to the flower.

For example:

"Hi, who are those flowers for?"
"They are for my garden"
"Oh, already started working on it so early huh?"
"Ha ha, yeah I guess"
"really, what kind of garden do you have?"
-------

"Hi, I wanted to come here and meet you and get your name" is a very corny and practiced line that will strike you as creepy. She was right to have that uncomfortable look when you talked to her.
Click to expand...
I liked your example of a possible convo about the flowers, thanks.
I don't agree that she was RIGHT to have that uncomfortable look. The RIGHT thing was for me to go up and approach her.
 
S

S0LID

Master Don Juan
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I hate it when grls have that uncomfortable, why you talking to me look on their face. It's all a numbers game though man, keep up the good work :)
 
L

Layla

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hmmm... I think that she may have been a bit uncomfortable because you didnt look so friendly?

I used to have a serious face all the time, but now that I smile, people feel more comfortable in my presence.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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