Hi everyone,
I'm a longtime lurker who feels I have cause to post, although nothing herein is rocket scientist. A bit about me: I'm 24, a student, average looking but I do alright. However, I've been out of the picture for a while. I haven't had occasion to post here yet, but I thought tonight was worth mentioning. I tend to be verbose, so if you're looking for a short read, this isn't it.
I met a girl off the internet. Yes, perhaps not the coolest way, but it's what I'm comfortable with. We exchanged a couple emails, talked via instant messenger once, and then spoke on a the phone a couple times. Tonight we met at a mainstream coffee joint for about an hour and 45 minutes. She's pretty, my age, a single mother (which she admitted during the initial correspondence), and seemingly bright (even though she evidently has made poor decisions).
The meeting: I got there a couple minutes before she did, but when she walked in, I put my hand over my mouth (in an oh my god manner) and jumped up and down a couple times. She laughed, we shook hands, I bought each of us a drink, and we sat down. She was wearing normal clothes and showing modest cleavage, obvious but nothing obscene. The conversation generally flowed, she laughed a lot, maintained eye-contact, didn't withdraw her hand when I commented on a ring, bla bla. She asked some questions about my personal life, ranted a bit about hers, and brought up some things we had talked about during our non-person-to-person conversations.
Then we went outside so she could smoke a cigarette. We then went back inside. I had plans later this evening with buddies, so I wanted to wrap it up. I essentially told her I enjoyed our meeting and wanted to see her again. I told her I wasn't one to engage in innuendo and subtle hints, and then asked if she was interested. Maybe a chumpy thing to, but I'm not inclined to be cleverly coy. She said yes, she'd be interested in seeing me again. I said - it had been said before but I felt obligated to reiterate - that like her, I was poor and cheap, that my hobbies were not mainstream and that I'd try to push them on her but wouldn't be disappointed if they didn't take (said jokingly), and that if we ended up hitting it off, I wouldn't mind meeting her kid but that such a scenario was far in the future. I also told her I was 24 years old and STD-free, and that was the way I planned on remaining. I didn't *****foot around the subject, but she said she understood, and although she was STD-free, she'd be willing to get a test.
She nodded, said she was still interested. I said, "Great! Let's go outside, spin around in circles a couple times [as we had earlier spoken of doing as children] and seal the deal with a PG-rated, no-tongue kiss! Whaddya say? She smiled and shyly said, "Maybe." I said, "That's a yes, let's go." So we went outside, agreed to spin three times, did so, I pulled her to me, we kissed for a couple seconds, she giggled, I then said in my best but still woefully inadequate Bogart voice, "Hell, let's do it again," kissed again, she giggled. Then I made some rather meandering small-talk about I'd get in touch with her or she'd get in touch with me. I then walked her to her car, made some comments about how immaculate her car was, had her laughing, kissed her once more, said "Nice meeting you, X, I'll be in touch" and walked off.
Post-Date analysis:
My initial impressions of her are favorable. She's attractive, she's well-spoken, she's funny and amenable to me being funny, and seemingly-sweet-tempered. From what I can tell, she seems like a pretty good mother. She strikes me neither as being interested only in sex nor in being a father figure for her kid. I might be wrong about either or both, though. The fact that she agreed to kiss me, allowed me to hold her body against mine while we kissed, and said, without prompting on my part, that she'd be willing to get an STD-test suggests to me that she doesn't think I'm a total dog.
Going into the date, I thought I'd be wildly enthused if I successfully kiss-closed her. I wasn't. Don't get me wrong, it was nice (and better than being rejected) but nice is about the boldest adjective I'd use. I think that's probably where I want to be, interested, but not obsessed.
Questions:
Where was I not so smooth? I feel like I shouldn't have said "Nice meeting you" at all, considering we had kissed and agreed to see each other again. I like to think I can pull off cheesy in a charming fashion, but one man's cheesy is another man's idiotic/desperate.
I'm not much of a texter, but I thought I'd text her (or call her) and wish her a Merry Christmas on the 25th and call her later this week. Good or bad idea?
Any other observations, advice, or comments? I'd be happy to answer any follow-up questions.
Thanks!
Sun Ra
I'm a longtime lurker who feels I have cause to post, although nothing herein is rocket scientist. A bit about me: I'm 24, a student, average looking but I do alright. However, I've been out of the picture for a while. I haven't had occasion to post here yet, but I thought tonight was worth mentioning. I tend to be verbose, so if you're looking for a short read, this isn't it.
I met a girl off the internet. Yes, perhaps not the coolest way, but it's what I'm comfortable with. We exchanged a couple emails, talked via instant messenger once, and then spoke on a the phone a couple times. Tonight we met at a mainstream coffee joint for about an hour and 45 minutes. She's pretty, my age, a single mother (which she admitted during the initial correspondence), and seemingly bright (even though she evidently has made poor decisions).
The meeting: I got there a couple minutes before she did, but when she walked in, I put my hand over my mouth (in an oh my god manner) and jumped up and down a couple times. She laughed, we shook hands, I bought each of us a drink, and we sat down. She was wearing normal clothes and showing modest cleavage, obvious but nothing obscene. The conversation generally flowed, she laughed a lot, maintained eye-contact, didn't withdraw her hand when I commented on a ring, bla bla. She asked some questions about my personal life, ranted a bit about hers, and brought up some things we had talked about during our non-person-to-person conversations.
Then we went outside so she could smoke a cigarette. We then went back inside. I had plans later this evening with buddies, so I wanted to wrap it up. I essentially told her I enjoyed our meeting and wanted to see her again. I told her I wasn't one to engage in innuendo and subtle hints, and then asked if she was interested. Maybe a chumpy thing to, but I'm not inclined to be cleverly coy. She said yes, she'd be interested in seeing me again. I said - it had been said before but I felt obligated to reiterate - that like her, I was poor and cheap, that my hobbies were not mainstream and that I'd try to push them on her but wouldn't be disappointed if they didn't take (said jokingly), and that if we ended up hitting it off, I wouldn't mind meeting her kid but that such a scenario was far in the future. I also told her I was 24 years old and STD-free, and that was the way I planned on remaining. I didn't *****foot around the subject, but she said she understood, and although she was STD-free, she'd be willing to get a test.
She nodded, said she was still interested. I said, "Great! Let's go outside, spin around in circles a couple times [as we had earlier spoken of doing as children] and seal the deal with a PG-rated, no-tongue kiss! Whaddya say? She smiled and shyly said, "Maybe." I said, "That's a yes, let's go." So we went outside, agreed to spin three times, did so, I pulled her to me, we kissed for a couple seconds, she giggled, I then said in my best but still woefully inadequate Bogart voice, "Hell, let's do it again," kissed again, she giggled. Then I made some rather meandering small-talk about I'd get in touch with her or she'd get in touch with me. I then walked her to her car, made some comments about how immaculate her car was, had her laughing, kissed her once more, said "Nice meeting you, X, I'll be in touch" and walked off.
Post-Date analysis:
My initial impressions of her are favorable. She's attractive, she's well-spoken, she's funny and amenable to me being funny, and seemingly-sweet-tempered. From what I can tell, she seems like a pretty good mother. She strikes me neither as being interested only in sex nor in being a father figure for her kid. I might be wrong about either or both, though. The fact that she agreed to kiss me, allowed me to hold her body against mine while we kissed, and said, without prompting on my part, that she'd be willing to get an STD-test suggests to me that she doesn't think I'm a total dog.
Going into the date, I thought I'd be wildly enthused if I successfully kiss-closed her. I wasn't. Don't get me wrong, it was nice (and better than being rejected) but nice is about the boldest adjective I'd use. I think that's probably where I want to be, interested, but not obsessed.
Questions:
Where was I not so smooth? I feel like I shouldn't have said "Nice meeting you" at all, considering we had kissed and agreed to see each other again. I like to think I can pull off cheesy in a charming fashion, but one man's cheesy is another man's idiotic/desperate.
I'm not much of a texter, but I thought I'd text her (or call her) and wish her a Merry Christmas on the 25th and call her later this week. Good or bad idea?
Any other observations, advice, or comments? I'd be happy to answer any follow-up questions.
Thanks!
Sun Ra
