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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Field Report: Always be willing to walk away.

Datinglife26

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Okay so I made a thread before about a girl I had gone on 2 dates with. She cancelled our third date and didn't offer to reschedule. I reached out 10 days after that only because she had pushed for the 3rd date with me, she said she wasn't around so I took that and the lack of counter offers as the point to walk away.

It sucked and left me confused because she seemed so into me on our second date and texting afterwards. But whatever, women are fickle and I assumed she had moved on. 10 weeks go by and we don't say a peep to each other. I start dating a new girl (fwb) and hooking up so my mind is not on this other chick.

This past friday my buddy informs me over drinks that he is talking to her (friendzoned himself in highschool) because he is getting into a thing with her best friend and she is trying to set them up.

In their talking my friend "A" asks why nothing more happened between me and her "M". M responds say "I dont know, he invited me to his place on the third date and when I couldn't make it he didn't seem to care, he is really hot but I got **** boy vibes and don't want to be thrown aside after a couple of months of dating, like i didn't just want to be a booty call" (he played me the voice note she sent)
He showed me more voice notes from her asking him to do some detective work to see if I was still into her.

Anyway, the next night I am out with friends and completely hammered. My friend "A" is finishing work and calls me that he is inviting "M" and her friends to join us at a house later that night.

Fast forward a later in the am hours, I was drunk as **** at this house. The girls arrive and her friends instantly introduce themselves with the "Oh so you're Datinglife26.." One of them is kinda cool, the other girl is up her own ass and I made fun of her not saying hello to everyone before grabbing herself a drink. She laughed at my comment so instantly I had "M"s friends on my side and they went from offense to being chill when they saw I didn't give a ****.

"M" then comes over to me and very cautiously asks how I have been, she is guarded and has closed off body language. I remained cool and talk like nothing had happened in those 10 weeks. She then started to open up and joke around with me a little. Then she caught herself and suddenly put her guard back up and tried to bust my balls by saying something along the lines of "Oh im sure your handsome face has been very busy for the last few months talking to lots of girls" (keep in mind she is **** faced drunk too)

I just smiled and turned away and began talking to my friends, she was trying to hard to under my skin. I honest didn't care if she left if she was gonna have any kinda attitude.

This is where she then gets frustrated walks up to me grabs my hand and says "come on stop being ****ing a *****" leads me out of the kitchen and up to a bedroom.

We made out and fondled each other etc but I was way too drunk/no condom and she was not completely with it. So it was best we stopped.

Both of us then pass out and wake up beside each other butt naked the next morning. She did the usual "oh I am so embarrassed" thing. Blah blah blah "Oh I am so naked" (best body I've seen, a legit petite 9/10). But she was way more chill in the morning. Talked for a bit laughed and joked around before I gave her a lift to her friends house on the way back to my place.

She invited me in and made me coffee and sat on my lap, kept calling me handsome (not used to that tbh) and was affectionate as ****. Clearly got over the whole "im punishing you for walking away" thing.

Gonna message her soon to set something up and this time not be tired and drunk.

Not bad for doing nothing.
 
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dude99

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Okay so I made a thread before about a girl I had gone on 2 dates with. She cancelled our third date and didn't offer to reschedule. I reached out 10 days after that only because she had pushed for the 3rd date with me, she said she wasn't around so I took that and the lack of counter offers as the point to walk away.

It sucked and left me confused because she seemed so into me on our second date and texting afterwards. But whatever, women are fickle and I assumed she had moved on. 10 weeks go by and we don't say a peep to each other. I start dating a new girl (fwb) and hooking up so my mind is not on this other chick.

This past friday my buddy informs me over drinks that he is talking to her (friendzoned himself in highschool) because he is getting into a thing with her best friend and she is trying to set them up.

In their talking my friend "A" asks why nothing more happened between me and her "M". M responds say "I dont know, he invited me to his place on the third date and when I couldn't make it he didn't seem to care, he is really hot but I got **** boy vibes and don't want to be thrown aside after a couple of months of dating, like i didn't just want to be a booty call" (he played me the voice note she sent)
He showed me more voice notes from her asking him to do some detective work to see if I was still into her.

Anyway, the next night I am out with friends and completely hammered. My friend "A" is finishing work and calls me that he is inviting "M" and her friends to join us at a house later that night.

Fast forward a later in the am hours, I was drunk as **** at this house. The girls arrive and her friends instantly introduce themselves with the "Oh so you're Datinglife26.." One of them is kinda cool, the other girl is up her own ass and I made fun of her not saying hello to everyone before grabbing herself a drink. She laughed at my comment so instantly I had "M"s friends on my side and they went from offense to being chill when they saw I didn't give a ****.

"M" then comes over to me and very cautiously asks how I have been, she is guarded and has closed off body language. I remained cool and talk like nothing had happened in those 10 weeks. She then started to open up and joke around with me a little. Then she caught herself and suddenly put her guard back up and tried to bust my balls by saying something along the lines of "Oh im sure your handsome face has been very busy for the last few months talking to lots of girls" (keep in mind she is **** faced drunk too)

I just smiled and turned away and began talking to my friends, she was trying to hard to under my skin. I honest didn't care if she left if she was gonna have any kinda attitude.

This is where she then gets frustrated walks up to me grabs my hand and says "come on stop being ****ing a *****" leads me out of the kitchen and up to a bedroom.

We made out and fondled each other etc but I was way too drunk/no condom and she was not completely with it. So it was best we stopped.

Both of us then pass out and wake up beside each other butt naked the next morning. She did the usual "oh I am so embarrassed" thing. Blah blah blah "Oh I am so naked" (best body I've seen, a legit petite 9/10). But she was way more chill in the morning. Talked for a bit laughed and joked around before I gave her a lift to her friends house on the way back to my place.

She invited me in and made me coffee and sat on my lap, kept calling me handsome (not used to that tbh) and was affectionate as ****. Clearly got over the whole "im punishing you for walking away" thing.

Gonna message her soon to set something up and this time not be tired and drunk.

Not bad for doing nothing.

"I dont know, he invited me to his place on the third date and when I couldn't make it he didn't seem to care, he is really hot but I got **** boy vibes and don't want to be thrown aside after a couple of months of dating, like i didn't just want to be a booty call."

Blah blah blah blah. I refuse to accept responsibility for messing this all up.

She canceled on you then never reached out for weeks and now wants to blame you.

Give her the guy she deserves. Nobody.
 

Datinglife26

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"I dont know, he invited me to his place on the third date and when I couldn't make it he didn't seem to care, he is really hot but I got **** boy vibes and don't want to be thrown aside after a couple of months of dating, like i didn't just want to be a booty call."

Blah blah blah blah. I refuse to accept responsibility for messing this all up.

She canceled on you then never reached out for weeks and now wants to blame you.

Give her the guy she deserves. Nobody.
She basically apologized by coming onto me.

I swear some times on these forums no matter which way things go the answer is always next.

My buddy and me have been invited to go to beach part with them next weekend.
 

derby1

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great hoovering skills by her,

I swear some times on these forums no matter which way things go the answer is always next.
thats because you have rewarded poor behaviour, that 3rd date offer was her chance to progress to your vice presidency job post you have available, she couldnt be bothered to turn up to.

she literally hasnt had to move off her sofa to confirm you still want her Vagina.

she knows she can go one month without speaking now, and a quick shake of the booty you fold like a tent.

you should have deemed her unworthy at the party for gross misconduct of your time.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

Let it ride. Be cool & chill when you see her again. She thinks you are attractive but she also thinks you are a player or a playboy. So be that. She’s interested but is insecure so she is disqualifying herself...that is different than low interest.

If you guys are in the social groups going to beach parties and so forth just go. Enjoy yourself...flirt with her but also flirt with other girls. If she busts your chops tease her. Tell her “Listen. I asked you out a couple times...we had fun, then I asked you out again & you flaked...whaddaya do?” And smile & shrug your shoulders or throw your hands up...

If she thinks you are a playboy and she wants no part of that, she is insecure and that is her problem. Not yours. Tease her for flaking if you are bold enough. As in like this:

Her: You seem like a player...I’m not into players...

You: You seem like a flake. I’m not into flakes...

Then you smile & move onto someone else to interact with.

If your value is as you say a player reputation is not going to really hinder you. But you need to own it. Every girl wants to conquer the player/playboy. Every playboy eventually wants to find a great girl. But you need a chick who can handle herself (high self esteem) and therefore handle you.

There are many many many beautiful women out there who are insecure. Jealousy and insecurity are ugly and will get old fast no matter how beautiful the girl is. So you need to let it ride, own your value and require her to invest more.

You are doing fine. She doesn’t know quite how to handle you. Good. Focus your attention elsewhere and let her gravitate back to you. If she likes you, she will. If she doesn’t she’s too insecure & therefore more trouble than she’s worth.

Cheers
 

Robert28

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Women like her die alone.
 

Clamslammer

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Advice from the old lady:

Let it ride. Be cool & chill when you see her again. She thinks you are attractive but she also thinks you are a player or a playboy. So be that. She’s interested but is insecure so she is disqualifying herself...that is different than low interest.

If you guys are in the social groups going to beach parties and so forth just go. Enjoy yourself...flirt with her but also flirt with other girls. If she busts your chops tease her. Tell her “Listen. I asked you out a couple times...we had fun, then I asked you out again & you flaked...whaddaya do?” And smile & shrug your shoulders or throw your hands up...

If she thinks you are a playboy and she wants no part of that, she is insecure and that is her problem. Not yours. Tease her for flaking if you are bold enough. As in like this:

Her: You seem like a player...I’m not into players...

You: You seem like a flake. I’m not into flakes...

Then you smile & move onto someone else to interact with.

If your value is as you say a player reputation is not going to really hinder you. But you need to own it. Every girl wants to conquer the player/playboy. Every playboy eventually wants to find a great girl. But you need a chick who can handle herself (high self esteem) and therefore handle you.

There are many many many beautiful women out there who are insecure. Jealousy and insecurity are ugly and will get old fast no matter how beautiful the girl is. So you need to let it ride, own your value and require her to invest more.

You are doing fine. She doesn’t know quite how to handle you. Good. Focus your attention elsewhere and let her gravitate back to you. If she likes you, she will. If she doesn’t she’s too insecure & therefore more trouble than she’s worth.

Cheers
This is pure gold, this happens to me a lot and I use to think I was doing something wrong but in reality it was their insecurities. She may be a great girl but this flaw will not take you anywhere unless she works on herself to get her self esteem to be able to deal with you.

She is probably use to guys chasing them so when you didn't after she declined the 3rd date her insecurities took over. Sad to say this will likely not lead to anything positive.

Girls like this will end up with a loser who knows she can control. This is why you see a lot of beautiful women with men you would never expect them to be with based on how they look.
 

AttackFormation

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How old is this woman?
 

Modern Man Advice

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Okay so I made a thread before about a girl I had gone on 2 dates with. She cancelled our third date and didn't offer to reschedule. I reached out 10 days after that only because she had pushed for the 3rd date with me, she said she wasn't around so I took that and the lack of counter offers as the point to walk away.

It sucked and left me confused because she seemed so into me on our second date and texting afterwards. But whatever, women are fickle and I assumed she had moved on. 10 weeks go by and we don't say a peep to each other. I start dating a new girl (fwb) and hooking up so my mind is not on this other chick.

This past friday my buddy informs me over drinks that he is talking to her (friendzoned himself in highschool) because he is getting into a thing with her best friend and she is trying to set them up.

In their talking my friend "A" asks why nothing more happened between me and her "M". M responds say "I dont know, he invited me to his place on the third date and when I couldn't make it he didn't seem to care, he is really hot but I got **** boy vibes and don't want to be thrown aside after a couple of months of dating, like i didn't just want to be a booty call" (he played me the voice note she sent)
He showed me more voice notes from her asking him to do some detective work to see if I was still into her.

Anyway, the next night I am out with friends and completely hammered. My friend "A" is finishing work and calls me that he is inviting "M" and her friends to join us at a house later that night.

Fast forward a later in the am hours, I was drunk as **** at this house. The girls arrive and her friends instantly introduce themselves with the "Oh so you're Datinglife26.." One of them is kinda cool, the other girl is up her own ass and I made fun of her not saying hello to everyone before grabbing herself a drink. She laughed at my comment so instantly I had "M"s friends on my side and they went from offense to being chill when they saw I didn't give a ****.

"M" then comes over to me and very cautiously asks how I have been, she is guarded and has closed off body language. I remained cool and talk like nothing had happened in those 10 weeks. She then started to open up and joke around with me a little. Then she caught herself and suddenly put her guard back up and tried to bust my balls by saying something along the lines of "Oh im sure your handsome face has been very busy for the last few months talking to lots of girls" (keep in mind she is **** faced drunk too)

I just smiled and turned away and began talking to my friends, she was trying to hard to under my skin. I honest didn't care if she left if she was gonna have any kinda attitude.

This is where she then gets frustrated walks up to me grabs my hand and says "come on stop being ****ing a *****" leads me out of the kitchen and up to a bedroom.

We made out and fondled each other etc but I was way too drunk/no condom and she was not completely with it. So it was best we stopped.

Both of us then pass out and wake up beside each other butt naked the next morning. She did the usual "oh I am so embarrassed" thing. Blah blah blah "Oh I am so naked" (best body I've seen, a legit petite 9/10). But she was way more chill in the morning. Talked for a bit laughed and joked around before I gave her a lift to her friends house on the way back to my place.

She invited me in and made me coffee and sat on my lap, kept calling me handsome (not used to that tbh) and was affectionate as ****. Clearly got over the whole "im punishing you for walking away" thing.

Gonna message her soon to set something up and this time not be tired and drunk.

Not bad for doing nothing.
Cool, thanks for the update. Good job keeping cool and collected.

Modern Man Advice
 

dude99

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She basically apologized by coming onto me. Did you smash? Or did you get played?

I swear some times on these forums no matter which way things go the answer is always next. Why eentertain a time waster?

My buddy and me have been invited to go to beach part with them next weekend. Let us know if she cancel again.
See comments in bold.

The reason we say next is because guys on this forum don't believe in wasting their time.

Let us know how things go at the beach party. I'm curious
 
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Datinglife26

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Derb got a good point. Also with the no smash.
Interesting to see this play out. This happened to me in the late 90s. Very similar.
I think the no smash in the morning might be a bigger turn off to her then calling her out about not respecting your time.
No condom and not smashing isn't the end of the world to be honest. I'd rather **** her properly when I'm firing on all cylinders than to have a scarcity mindset of "if I don't do it now I might never do it" because if I don't then so be it. She isn't the only woman in the world

Reality is id rather know I smashed properly and with no regret of being ****ed up (like I drank enough I am still paying for it 2 days later) then to half ass it and not feel good about it lol

But yeah I'll see how it goes.
 

Datinglife26

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See comments in bold.

The reason we say next is because guys on this forum don't believe in wasting their time.

Let us know how things go at the beach party. I'm curious
I didn't smash because A no condom and B i was so drunk that i couldnt even feel my feet let along my **** lol

But I could have smashed I we were about to until the aforementioned reasons.
 

Datinglife26

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great hoovering skills by her,



thats because you have rewarded poor behaviour, that 3rd date offer was her chance to progress to your vice presidency job post you have available, she couldnt be bothered to turn up to.

she literally hasnt had to move off her sofa to confirm you still want her Vagina.

she knows she can go one month without speaking now, and a quick shake of the booty you fold like a tent.

you should have deemed her unworthy at the party for gross misconduct of your time.
She spent the week leading up to it asking my friend if I would still talk to her if she put herself forward.

She came to a house I was at.

She came up to speak to me.

She came onto me.

If that isn't the goal.

I literally did nothing other than not let her get under my skin and she was sucking on my balls lol

I'm all for standing my ground. But I've given up nothing and haven't had to put effort in and this chick is showing she can't understand where I am at so it puts her all over the map.

I'm not over thinking this. Sometimes these rules too much about over analysing things.

I heard the voice notes she got insecure that I might be a player. And players can hurt girls feelings. She backed off to test. She is pissed I didn't chase. But she showed her cards that she has been thinking about me to the point that it would even make her feel any kinda of emotions.

All that time I've been hooking up with another girl.

No time wasted on my end bar her cancelling a date she asked for. I'm not bitter. **** happens. She didn't hurt me.

I'm gonna go to the beach and have fun.

Simple
 

derby1

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I heard the voice notes she got insecure that I might be a player. And players can hurt girls feelings. She backed off to test. She is pissed I didn't chase. But she showed her cards that she has been thinking about me to the point that it would even make her feel any kinda of emotions.
shes living in your head rent free bro and she has give you NOTHING.

she knows your self respect act is a facade.

your gossiping about a girl who discarded you, it doesnt matter her victim reason, she wasnt worried to lose you.
She should be seeking your approval now, travelling over but shes not.


imagine if I was trying to figure out how to put a woman back in my life who just messed me about and ghosted me? what brutal words would you have for me?
 

RangerMIke

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This woman has zero confidence. You do not want to waste time with a chick that has no confidence.

If you are going to bring a woman into your life she has to have three things going for (1) She has to really like you and put effort into getting you. (2) She has to fit in your life and you like her beyond physical attractiveness, you do this by being honest about who you are and what you want (3) She has to be a normal functioning woman.

The problem with too many men is the only thing they fvcking care about is if she is physically attracted to them. Is she hot, if the answer is yes, they the stupid man is all in.... They ignore that she isn't really into them or that she is showing signs that she might not be normal. The these stupid men get emotionally attached and end up twisting themselves into a pretzel to keep her around.

Now if all you care about is banging chicks... none of this matters.
 

derby1

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This woman has zero confidence. You do not want to waste time with a chick that has no confidence.
totally agree, they will ghost you over the most ridiculous thing, with a false allegation. claiming you said something you didnt.

And theres lot of these women around.
 

Datinglife26

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totally agree, they will ghost you over the most ridiculous thing, with a false allegation. claiming you said something you didnt.

And theres lot of these women around.
This woman has zero confidence. You do not want to waste time with a chick that has no confidence.

If you are going to bring a woman into your life she has to have three things going for (1) She has to really like you and put effort into getting you. (2) She has to fit in your life and you like her beyond physical attractiveness, you do this by being honest about who you are and what you want (3) She has to be a normal functioning woman.

The problem with too many men is the only thing they fvcking care about is if she is physically attracted to them. Is she hot, if the answer is yes, they the stupid man is all in.... They ignore that she isn't really into them or that she is showing signs that she might not be normal. The these stupid men get emotionally attached and end up twisting themselves into a pretzel to keep her around.

Now if all you care about is banging chicks... none of this matters.
I wanna smash her 9/10 ass

Who the hell said she has earned any more of my time now than beyond me wanting to smash her. She is hot as ****.

Lol at thinking I'm taking her on dinners. We are hanging out on a beach somewhere
 
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