"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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fetish problem

blackatheart

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Is there anyway to remove a fetish? It's sad when I get aroused much easier by non-sexual images than normal sexual images, and I think it's going to hurt me in bed. This isn't even like a normal fetish (ex. foot fetish) - it's more of a submissive one that doesn't fit my personality. lol please don't tell me I need "years of expensive therapy" although if that's what I gotta do, that's what I gotta do. Thanks.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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blackatheart

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you know all that s&m bondage stuff- it's annoying how I like being on the receiving end of it lol. any ideas on how to stop liking it so much?
 

Jimbo2k

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Get some self respect and dignity my friend.
 

Celadus

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Haha.

It's going to be hard to stop liking it..I'm know psychologist but there is probably some underlying issue that causes you to like it. Research it on the internet. Probably has something to do with an overbearing mom? Beat that issue and you won't like it so much, I guess. Or you could just have fun with it...Do you like to give it too? Most people probably like it a little once in a little while. Is it the only thing you like to do?

Hehe
Celadus
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Titanium

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I think I once read that fetishes are usually imprinted during one's childhood.... by which there is connection formed between something observed, and something sexual (even if the two are unrelated).

I think we are sexual beings from the day we are born….and much of our expressed sexuality in adulthood was formulated when we were little. I am quite certain that the intriguing discovery of my dad’s extensive nudie magazine collection, eventually served to advance me beyond my years.
 

Le Parisien

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blackatheart said:
you know all that s&m bondage stuff- it's annoying how I like being on the receiving end of it lol. any ideas on how to stop liking it so much?
I think you are alright, if it was fetishism for animals or young children I would worry, but SM stuff, many people are like that. Guess it's just life.

Personally I find the SM stuff "goofy", and sometimes disgusting when it's too extreme. But overall Id' say you are much less stigmatized than people who are gay or worse: pedophiles.

Personally, I have somewhat a fetishism for girls with long and beautiful legs, especially when they are wearing silky stockings and nice delicate and classy high heel shoes.

I don't really feel ashamed of it although I'm aware of my little secrets.:D If I see a cute tall leggy girl, I won't miss out to check out her legs (any stocking or pantyhose?:rock: ) and her shoes...

Basically don't worry too much man...
 

blackatheart

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alright but I'm saying that it's hard for me to get aroused thinking about having sex with a girl, touching her naked body, etc. but when I think about the s&m stuff I get aroused like it's nothing. now that's a problem.
 

Celadus

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If you decide to accept it, you can go to alt.com and find people who share your fetish. Lots of dominmatrixs on there.

Celadus
 

CLOONEY

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Man, nothing wrong with it! My girlfriend dresses up as a nurse or a maid sometimes, and scraches, bites and pinches the fukc out of me while she rides like a bull on top! I love it! And liek you, I am the one in control in the relationship (it doesnt fit my personality at all), but when it comes to sex, the majority of the time its a massive turn on to have a chick in your room who is proud and confident who will just tell you whats up and get down and dirty, screaming like a pig! Why do people in the United States always think someone needs a shrink when they like something thats not "normal"? No wonder you guys have so many problems over there! Shrinks have more problems than anyone else statistically, at least Marriages ones do!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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madgame

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Personally, I have somewhat a fetishism for girls with long and beautiful legs, especially when they are wearing silky stockings and nice delicate and classy high heel shoes.
I always knew you had some embarrassing fetish like this!!! :-D but then again I'm into girls with tight jeans/mini skirts and boots...
 

ElChoclo

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Unfortunately for you there is apparently an excess of submissive males and not enough dominant women, so you will be competing for attention even more than the average man does.

I would suggest that you work on training yourself to get aroused in the normal way. Obviously men do not get erections every time they see a girl. If they did, life would be quite simple. There are perceptions which determine whether you do or don't get aroused. Therefore what you need to do is to associate the naked female form with arousal. You need to learn to perceive it as being a trigger for arousal. You might be able to use some of your existing tendencies, but the key is for you to always link a naked female form to your arousal so that the response becomes more automatic.
 

Skilla_Staz

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Just have some b*tch beat you to within inches of your life. You'll be scared into never doing it again lol.
 

Centaurion

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And I thought I was weird because of my watersport fetish.

:p
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Skel

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Nothing wrong with bondage fetish IMO.
 

blackatheart

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elchoclo thanks for the advice- I thought of that too but never gave it a try but now I will
 

Warboss Alex

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Fetishes are personal, private things which shouldn't be posted on a forum anyway. No-one has a right to belittle or commend you on your choice of fetish, if it's what makes you happy and it doesn't hurt other people, go for it. Are you and your partner having a good time? That's all that's needed!

I have a really bizarre fetish about my missus. I think I might even be sexually atracted to her. :cool:
 

Big Eee Zee

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see, your missing out on the positives here. you can enjoy sex, and if you have enough experience trust me you wont have trouble getting a hardon. then when you do, sex is a nicety, but it isnt as arousing as your fetishes.

so...that means you can go forever without cumming. women will bow down and kiss your feet if you can get them off 5 times in a row. and when you get really good, your set for life.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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