Female friend from school just messaged me...

[asaproc]

Hey everyone,

Now keep in mind, since my teens when I first started dating, I have never been platonic friends with a female and then tried to hook up with her. Females for me have been in two categories: girls I'm hooking up with and platonic "friends" (use that term loosely) from school, work wherever who I talked with casually and weren't interested in pursuing either due to lack of mutual attraction, a boyfriend or whatever.

So this concept is relatively foreign to me...

I just finished dental school recently and met a girl who was in a couple of my classes throughout the last couple years. Girl is cute and we got along well but she always had a boyfriend. In retrospect, we use to talk about sex and dating in general once in awhile but usually our conversations were related to school and studying.

After she graduated, we would randomly message each other here and there to catch up, share a funny story etc. but far from regular conversation.

My birthday is this Friday and I mentioned to her a few weeks back I was having a relatively big party to celebrate both my birthday and graduation from dental school with everyone. I told her to come with her bf as again, its been pretty platonic and I was planning on bringing a girl I've been seeing and she said "she'd let me know but wasn't sure her boyfriend would like the idea since he apparently use to get mad about us studying when school was going on"

Well two things since then happened over the next couple weeks.

I stopped seeing the girl I was going to bring to my birthday and she messages me an hour ago telling me asking if I'm still having my birthday. I say yes and she tells me she is newly single and wants to come. I tell her thats interesting cause I literally just stopped seeing the girl I was with too. She says shes looking forward to coming and wants me and her to drink and get ****ed up.

Now again, I'm pretty green when it comes to girls that I've known this long without anything happening sexually so I'm wondering if she may be interested in a rebound lay. I'm thinking its possible because:

- Social media shows she has a large group of friends she regularly goes out with and could go out with but she reached out about my party I told her about couple weeks back

- Her recently ex bf doesnt like me lol

- We've talked about sex a decent amount at school, she told me she thinks im attractive, would be a good lay and other banter etc.

Just curious what people who have been in similar professional/working platonic relationships think about this. I am almost definitely going to make a move but would love any related input

 

[marmel75]

It's looking positive, but no way to know until you make a move. Make a move and see what happens.

 

[dustmuffin]

Make a move. Make your intentions known.

 

[Tictac]

Harry's around somewhere. But this is from his post 'signature'. Sorta sounds right for your situation.

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/The-Friend-Zone-Escape-Plan.pdf

 

[Serenity]

Do not advance if and when you feel what you're about to do threatens the established good connection. If you want to take this further you must figure out if she does too, then get it out in the open to each other and proceed. You also gotta view it as an extension of what you two already have, not one thing replaces the other.

Don't fvck her if you can't risk sacrificing your friendship, especially if you don't have the intention of starting a relationship.