Feeling Guilty For Pushing A Guy Away

[Hayley79]

too cold i dont understand your point.

i dont think its ok for anyone to be seeing other people when you are months into a relationship where you are seeing each other every day and having sleep-over parties. call me old fashioned, but i'd never do that to someone, and i expect the same respect in return. none of this "unoffical" ****amany baloney.

anyway, i'm over this.... as you all say on this forum... NEXT!

in the meantime, thank you to the one or two people who did provide some constructive insight, and not just "you're a b!tch" or "you deserved it because you have male friends" or something equally ridiculous.

 

[NewMan]

You were expecting him to go 4 months without seeing you - without sex and attention. On top of this, if he's a decent guy, he's going to have options - women to bang, get laid with.

If you wanted to be with him, then you should have figured it out so that you wouldn't spend 4 months away on business.

If you were not willing to forgo the business - then you should realize that you can't expect a guy to wait around on you.

you should have known the risks from the start.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Hayley79
too cold i dont understand your point.

i dont think its ok for anyone to be seeing other people when you are months into a relationship where you are seeing each other every day and having sleep-over parties. call me old fashioned, but i'd never do that to someone, and i expect the same respect in return. none of this "unoffical" ****amany baloney.

anyway, i'm over this.... as you all say on this forum... NEXT!

in the meantime, thank you to the one or two people who did provide some constructive insight, and not just "you're a b!tch" or "you deserved it because you have male friends" or something equally ridiculous.

you didn't understand my point because you didn't read what i said.

 

[Bonhomme]

Speaking different languages

You guys are writing from a man's point of view, and Hayley (and the other women) are writing from a woman's point of view.

Women, for the most part, tend to have one man who they want exclusively, and if he does (or fails to do) something that causes her to lose that attraction, she'll set her sights on another man she wants exclusively.

Men, for the most part, are just not "wired" like that. We tend to be perfectly capable of falling in lust with many women at one time, and it can take a great deal of restraint and discipline to be exclusive with one woman if other opportunities are around us.

A woman should consider herself bloody fortunate if a "hot," sought-after man she's involved with doesn't have sex with another gal (defining "sex" as anything involving "going downstairs" in one way or another), much less just kissing.

In other words, it didn't mean nearly as much to him as it did to you. And that is why he (and most of the guys here) couldn't understand your reaction.

Writing from the point of view of a man, I don't think kissing another woman warranted that extreme a reaction. Such an extreme reaction only made matters worse.

I doubt that this can be salvaged, or even should. Yes, Hayley, you may have pissed away a good thing, and he may have. Live and learn...

**********

Do not construe this to mean I advocate "cheating" on women. In fact, I have yet to do so.

I know how much faithfulness means to a woman who's out of her head about a man, and would not want to ever do anything to hurt someone who's so good to me ...