hi, i just need a male perspective on something.
i dated a guy since march. he was probably everything i could ask for in someone. it was great, till i left for business for a month in may. the day i cam back, he confessed that he cheated on me the night before when some girl "kissed him" in a bar. 2 days of groveling and he had me back. a couple times after i brought it up again, because i thought he'd understand that rebuilding trust doesnt happen overnight, but he got angry, told me to "let it go" and so i never brought it up again. till i checked his phone (i know, very very wrong) and found the girl's number. he said he never used it, except to text her the next day and tell her it was a mistake. apart from this, the relationship was really really great. he called me every day and took me out all the time, brought me food when i was too busy or stressed to eat, paid for mostly everything, complimented and supported me.
but then we were to be apart for 4 months, starting june, because of business. he decided that we shouldn't officially be together during this time, since the relationship was still new, and we would be apart for so long. he would still call me every other day, but i found it hard talking to him and at the same time wondering if he was seeing someone else. he told me he wasn't interested in seeing someone else, and i told him the unofficial set up upset me, but nothing changed. he told me to just have fun and he wouldn't be jealous if i dated someone else. this really hurt me, so after about 2 months of the whole "unofficial" thing, i started pushing him away, because i thought, if he were really into me then he'd wouldn't be so wishy washy. anyway, a month went by and i spoke to him maybe only 3 or 4 times, plus a few emails and im conversations. during a couple of our conversations, i made a couple *****y remarks. i over reacted about a few thigns too, such as finding out his ex would be in town for the next 6 months.
i became a person i didn't like being, and thought i should cut it off, even though i really liked him. he beat me too it though, and said he lost feelings for me because i didnt talk much to him in the past month and when i did i said a couple of not so nice things. i am usually really benign, he didn't know i had it in me to say the things i did. i started to feel really guilty about the way i acted. i usually try hard to make relationships work, but in this case i pushed him away. i wrote an email apologizing about it.
anyway, i am feeling bad about how i acted. i am wondering though- does it sound like this guy was into me and i screwed something up good, or is it better that i am not with him?
i dated a guy since march. he was probably everything i could ask for in someone. it was great, till i left for business for a month in may. the day i cam back, he confessed that he cheated on me the night before when some girl "kissed him" in a bar. 2 days of groveling and he had me back. a couple times after i brought it up again, because i thought he'd understand that rebuilding trust doesnt happen overnight, but he got angry, told me to "let it go" and so i never brought it up again. till i checked his phone (i know, very very wrong) and found the girl's number. he said he never used it, except to text her the next day and tell her it was a mistake. apart from this, the relationship was really really great. he called me every day and took me out all the time, brought me food when i was too busy or stressed to eat, paid for mostly everything, complimented and supported me.
but then we were to be apart for 4 months, starting june, because of business. he decided that we shouldn't officially be together during this time, since the relationship was still new, and we would be apart for so long. he would still call me every other day, but i found it hard talking to him and at the same time wondering if he was seeing someone else. he told me he wasn't interested in seeing someone else, and i told him the unofficial set up upset me, but nothing changed. he told me to just have fun and he wouldn't be jealous if i dated someone else. this really hurt me, so after about 2 months of the whole "unofficial" thing, i started pushing him away, because i thought, if he were really into me then he'd wouldn't be so wishy washy. anyway, a month went by and i spoke to him maybe only 3 or 4 times, plus a few emails and im conversations. during a couple of our conversations, i made a couple *****y remarks. i over reacted about a few thigns too, such as finding out his ex would be in town for the next 6 months.
i became a person i didn't like being, and thought i should cut it off, even though i really liked him. he beat me too it though, and said he lost feelings for me because i didnt talk much to him in the past month and when i did i said a couple of not so nice things. i am usually really benign, he didn't know i had it in me to say the things i did. i started to feel really guilty about the way i acted. i usually try hard to make relationships work, but in this case i pushed him away. i wrote an email apologizing about it.
anyway, i am feeling bad about how i acted. i am wondering though- does it sound like this guy was into me and i screwed something up good, or is it better that i am not with him?
