"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Feeling extremely intimidated by this girl (Advice?)

Brighty

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Basically, I went out with this one girl for Valentines' Day. Let's call her Karen. This was our first date and we agreed to ignore that it was Valentines' Day and the date went well (These girls wanted to take a picture of me proposing to her for some magazine thing... and later we pretended we were married and we almost bought an apartment, it was hilarious). We both had fun and we both agreed we'd do it again sometime. Now, I realize that the following is going to sound horribly, horribly cliche... but it's true.

Karen is one of the more popular girls in school. She is one of the most beautiful girls in our grade, she's every guys' wet dream, she got into Georgetown University, and she's got a very bubbly personality. She doesn't really know what she wants to do for a career, but she wants to be a doctor.

Brighty, on the other hand, is slightly behind her in terms of popularity. Not to sound shallow, but I'm probably one of the more attractive dudes in our grade (however, looks doesn't mean **** if you don't have the confidence to go alongside it). In addition, my grades aren't all that hot and I'm conflicted as to where I'm going to college (The way money is right now, I think I'll have to go to a Community College until I can pay for a 4 year University). I am deadset on becoming a movie director/producer.

She likes me, but I just feel so - for lack of a better word - intimidated by her. It kind of hit me today when I was talking to two girls during a class when I casually mentioned that I went out with her last weekend. Immediately the girls did a double take and asked who I went with besides her and they didn't believe me at first that I went out with her. And then there's her friends - I'm friends with about half of them, the other half I really don't feel that comfortable around... they strike me as too preppy. For instance, I was invited over to a bonfire Sunday night with that group because of Karen and once I was there I couldn't really relate to some of the people.

When I'm isolated with her, I feel comfortable and right at home and that she's attracted to me... however when I'm at school when she's around her friends... I feel like I somehow don't deserve to be with her or something and I hardly give her a passing glance in the hallway today. I'm always second guessing myself if she's really attracted to me and I feel as though all eyes are on me. The anxiety of possibly going to Community College coupled with this stress of feeling almost inferior to her does not make a good mindset for me to escalate things with this girl.

Have any of you guys been in this scenario before? I know, this is totally putting her up on a pedestal... but it's so hard not to when all of my friends refer to her as the "golden girl". I originally was pretty relaxed about her hanging out with me, but steadily I'm being psyched out and I'm not even the one doing it.

Do you guys have any way I can put things into perspective?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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slaog

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Whose the man here? You're putting this girl on a pedestal. You're talking about all the reasons why (you think) shes better then you. How about you focus on the reason why shes lucky to have you?


Your mindset is all wrong and you better take her off that pedestal quickly or it's over.


What I would do in your situation is to simply remember to treat her like a little girl. Tease her, have fun with her, find things she says cute etc. The key to this is always remembering that you're the man. You're the one who leads the relationship. Don't be a little boy and wait for her to lead you. Good luck :up:
 

Julian

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You are putting the puzzy on a pedestal. You need to dead that attitude asap.

Like a quote I live by "She might be a dime, but I'm a hundred dollar bill."
 

Brighty

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slaog said:
Whose the man here? You're putting this girl on a pedestal. You're talking about all the reasons why (you think) shes better then you. How about you focus on the reason why shes lucky to have you?


Your mindset is all wrong and you better take her off that pedestal quickly or it's over.

I know man, I know. I wasn't doing this originally - it's just that everyone I've talked to about it just keeps on saying "Oh man no way you're talking to her?" and "she's so perfect" and calling her the "golden girl" is just adding fuel to the fire and it's getting to me.
 

slaog

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Brighty said:
I know man, I know. I wasn't doing this originally - it's just that everyone I've talked to about it just keeps on saying "Oh man no way you're talking to her?" and "she's so perfect" and calling her the "golden girl" is just adding fuel to the fire and it's getting to me.

This is good! She may be the golden girl to most others but theres no reason why you can't be the golden man. If you show her she's not above you then it means that you've high value too. In fact show her you're higher value then her (This is all done subconsciously).


Don't pay attention to others. They all put her on a pedestal but you don't have to follow the sheep.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Brighty

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slaog said:
This is good! She may be the golden girl to most others but theres no reason why you can't be the golden man. If you show her she's not above you then it means that you've high value too. In fact show her you're higher value then her (This is all done subconsciously).


Don't pay attention to others. They all put her on a pedestal but you don't have to follow the sheep.

Yeah, you do have a legitimate point. Thank you. It's just odd that there are people that oppose me pursuing this girl.
 

Igetit!

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slaog said:
They all put her on a pedestal but you don't have to follow the sheep.
Exactly. In fact,them putting her on a pedistal is the reason they don't have her,and you not putting her up on one is why she's with you. I know that you say that all these comments from other people are starting to get to you,but pull it together man. If you start to believe what everyone is saying to you about her being all that,and how they can't believe you're with her,then those beliefs in your mind will start to seep out into your behaviors and interactions with her.....and you won't even know it. You won't realize what's going on until it shows up in her behavior. She'll start to spend less time with you,break dates,give you excuses/flaky behavior etc. And because you don't realize that these behaviors from you are what's causing this,you'll end up scratching you head,and trying to figure out what went wrong.

So block out all the trash coming from other people. Continue to lead,be the man,be in control,and she'll continue to follow you.
 

Brighty

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Igetit! said:
Exactly. In fact,them putting her on a pedistal is the reason they don't have her,and you not putting her up on one is why she's with you. I know that you say that all these comments from other people are starting to get to you,but pull it together man. If you start to believe what everyone is saying to you about her being all that,and how they can't believe you're with her,then those beliefs in your mind will start to seep out into your behaviors and interactions with her.....and you won't even know it. You won't realize what's going on until it shows up in her behavior. She'll start to spend less time with you,break dates,give you excuses/flaky behavior etc. And because you don't realize that these behaviors from you are what's causing this,you'll end up scratching you head,and trying to figure out what went wrong.

So block out all the trash coming from other people. Continue to lead,be the man,be in control,and she'll continue to follow you.
So... don't really even acknowledge my friends when they're on her jock?
 
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