"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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feeling down/advise please

J

Jeremymichael

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Hello guys,

Good morning. Well I'm feeling a bit down today and need some inspiration to bounce back.

There is a girl who comes to my local bar that I have a good rapour with. She comes in on a Sunday when there is live music. She really is lovely. Anyway about three weeks ago I ask her for her number to exchange contact details and she agreed. This is were I probably messed up, I don't know?.

Since then I have not seen her for over three weeks. The first Sunday after we exchanged number she did not turn up, the second I was in Switzerland on business. Last week she sent me a text saying "Hey how are you?, wondering where you are tonight?, the band is playing". I sent a text back saying I was in Switzerland and would be back for this Sunday and mentioned we should go for a drink on my return. Since then no reply and no turn up last night either.

So here I am at work, three weeks on and no progress. Some would just call her but I don't know if she sees me just as a friend. If she had sent me a text saying yes I agree let's meet up I would have felt more confident. Now I feel I might have scared her off?.

Any advice. Part of me feels that I won't bother even going to bar this Sunday because I'll be sat there wondering if she will turn up :confused:
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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W

window

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Man you did the right thing asking for the number. But you didn't call her ??? so she has to send a message asking what's up. I'd say when you asked her out via text for a drink you weren't specific and did not suggest a time or place. I'd suggest calling her and asking her out properly instead of seeking permission and wondering whether she'll approve of you or not. You are worrying too much what she thinks. This is a big turn off for women. It's even affecting your behaviour as you're contemplating not doing something you enjoy.

I would ask her one more time (by phone) but be specific and if she doesn't go for it at least you wont die not knowing...no big deal. Plenty of girls in the sea.
 
J

Jeremymichael

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Many thanks, I forgot I was a bit drunk last night and sent a late night text message. Something like "Hi hope you are well, sorry you didn't make it to the bar tonight, You were missed". How embarassing!.

I don't think I can call her now, I think she wouldn't answer. What do you think?:rolleyes:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Jeremymichael

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Window, do you think she might be interested?. Should I make the call, or would I be stalking. Maybe should wait until I next meet her at the bar?
 
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Zaraza

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Call her, because if you call her and she still has interest in you then you can take it from there. But if you do not call, and choose to not contact her at all... well then you are QUITTING!
 
J

jophil28

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Jeremymichael said:
Since then I have not seen her for over three weeks. The first Sunday after we exchanged number she did not turn up, the second I was in Switzerland on business. Last week she sent me a text saying "Hey how are you?, wondering where you are tonight?, the band is playing". I sent a text back saying I was in Switzerland and would be back for this Sunday and mentioned we should go for a drink on my return. Since then no reply and no turn up last night either.
:
Click to expand...
This is what happens when women create an "opening" or give the guy a
green light" and he does not push down on the accelerator.

What are you waiting for here ? More green lights ? One is enough .
 
N

NewMan

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Don't call her right away now you sent a text last night etc.

I'd wait till wednesday - then call her and ask her out for a drink.

In the future, grasp the moment.
 
W

window

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yes you must go through the window when it is open. If you don't you move into the friend zone pretty quickly and she sees you as long term material if there is any romantic feelings from her side. still call her though. she'll give you a yes or a no. you may have messed this one up though. see how now you're coming from behind and it is harder...whereas initialy you had the better position when she was waiting for you to call.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Jeremymichael

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thanks for the advice guys. I'm not sure why she has been missing from the bar so much recently, and not responding to my text messages. I thought she would have come back with some comment. I'll go to the bar sunday and see if she is there and gauge her interest then. I think a phone call out of the blue might catch her off guard?
 
V

Vulpine

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Jeremymichael said:
thanks for the advice guys. I'm not sure why she has been missing from the bar so much recently, and not responding to my text messages. I thought she would have come back with some comment. I'll go to the bar sunday and see if she is there and gauge her interest then. I think a phone call out of the blue might catch her off guard?
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Yeah, buddy, call her a couple more times. Send her flowers with a note that says "Please call me!"

She's not at the bar because she is in some dude's bed getting DP'd while another guy films it.

Go to ANOTHER bar and meet OTHER women. CHRIST! OBSESSED MUCH?

You are the one screwing yourself over, Mr. Jeremymichael McDesperateneedypants.
 
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