"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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feeling down/advise please

Jeremymichael

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Hello guys,

Good morning. Well I'm feeling a bit down today and need some inspiration to bounce back.

There is a girl who comes to my local bar that I have a good rapour with. She comes in on a Sunday when there is live music. She really is lovely. Anyway about three weeks ago I ask her for her number to exchange contact details and she agreed. This is were I probably messed up, I don't know?.

Since then I have not seen her for over three weeks. The first Sunday after we exchanged number she did not turn up, the second I was in Switzerland on business. Last week she sent me a text saying "Hey how are you?, wondering where you are tonight?, the band is playing". I sent a text back saying I was in Switzerland and would be back for this Sunday and mentioned we should go for a drink on my return. Since then no reply and no turn up last night either.

So here I am at work, three weeks on and no progress. Some would just call her but I don't know if she sees me just as a friend. If she had sent me a text saying yes I agree let's meet up I would have felt more confident. Now I feel I might have scared her off?.

Any advice. Part of me feels that I won't bother even going to bar this Sunday because I'll be sat there wondering if she will turn up :confused:
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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window

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Man you did the right thing asking for the number. But you didn't call her ??? so she has to send a message asking what's up. I'd say when you asked her out via text for a drink you weren't specific and did not suggest a time or place. I'd suggest calling her and asking her out properly instead of seeking permission and wondering whether she'll approve of you or not. You are worrying too much what she thinks. This is a big turn off for women. It's even affecting your behaviour as you're contemplating not doing something you enjoy.

I would ask her one more time (by phone) but be specific and if she doesn't go for it at least you wont die not knowing...no big deal. Plenty of girls in the sea.
 

Jeremymichael

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Many thanks, I forgot I was a bit drunk last night and sent a late night text message. Something like "Hi hope you are well, sorry you didn't make it to the bar tonight, You were missed". How embarassing!.

I don't think I can call her now, I think she wouldn't answer. What do you think?:rolleyes:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Jeremymichael

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Window, do you think she might be interested?. Should I make the call, or would I be stalking. Maybe should wait until I next meet her at the bar?
 

Zaraza

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Call her, because if you call her and she still has interest in you then you can take it from there. But if you do not call, and choose to not contact her at all... well then you are QUITTING!
 

jophil28

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Jeremymichael said:
Since then I have not seen her for over three weeks. The first Sunday after we exchanged number she did not turn up, the second I was in Switzerland on business. Last week she sent me a text saying "Hey how are you?, wondering where you are tonight?, the band is playing". I sent a text back saying I was in Switzerland and would be back for this Sunday and mentioned we should go for a drink on my return. Since then no reply and no turn up last night either.
:
This is what happens when women create an "opening" or give the guy a
green light" and he does not push down on the accelerator.

What are you waiting for here ? More green lights ? One is enough .
 

NewMan

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Don't call her right away now you sent a text last night etc.

I'd wait till wednesday - then call her and ask her out for a drink.

In the future, grasp the moment.
 

window

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yes you must go through the window when it is open. If you don't you move into the friend zone pretty quickly and she sees you as long term material if there is any romantic feelings from her side. still call her though. she'll give you a yes or a no. you may have messed this one up though. see how now you're coming from behind and it is harder...whereas initialy you had the better position when she was waiting for you to call.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Jeremymichael

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thanks for the advice guys. I'm not sure why she has been missing from the bar so much recently, and not responding to my text messages. I thought she would have come back with some comment. I'll go to the bar sunday and see if she is there and gauge her interest then. I think a phone call out of the blue might catch her off guard?
 

Vulpine

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Jeremymichael said:
thanks for the advice guys. I'm not sure why she has been missing from the bar so much recently, and not responding to my text messages. I thought she would have come back with some comment. I'll go to the bar sunday and see if she is there and gauge her interest then. I think a phone call out of the blue might catch her off guard?
Yeah, buddy, call her a couple more times. Send her flowers with a note that says "Please call me!"

She's not at the bar because she is in some dude's bed getting DP'd while another guy films it.

Go to ANOTHER bar and meet OTHER women. CHRIST! OBSESSED MUCH?

You are the one screwing yourself over, Mr. Jeremymichael McDesperateneedypants.
 
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