There's this girl I'll consider my 2nd lead (not as good looking as my primary chase, but she's pretty good to me in terms of looks), and I have no problems talking with her at school (nothing really flirtatious, just kind of chilling). But when I talked to her on MSN (GOD DAMN MSN!) today I felt nervous/butterflies in my stomach, and it made me wonder what the hells going on. Anyone ever get this feeling with a person they already know?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Fear on MSN, where have my balls gone?
- Thread starter itishe
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
That's why I was wondering, "what the hell is this?". After that it seemed only to go down hill with other females as well. It felt like I was trying to find the "perfect words" which would only flop. It felt like I was writing a script for a romance movie.
MSN I don't have the fear, but MSN/IM in general is a dehumanized way of talking. Keeping up conversings are harder because you don't have yourself talking to the woman and conveying yourself. It rellies heavily upon wording and trying to keep the convo interesting which can get tough.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Glad to hear you worked it out, I also found out if u need promise go into some chat room and pick any girl and try some of you pick up lines and so on. It really works with good practice on somebody you will never see again when you are not able to practice on real girls.
Nzo
Don Juan
Dude that realllllly creativeGlad to hear you worked it out, I also found out if u need promise go into some chat room and pick any girl and try some of you pick up lines and so on. It really works with good practice on somebody you will never see again when you are not able to practice on real girls.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I didn't want to create any unneeded threads, so I will just add this to this one.
I've been trying to be more confident (I was already pretty confident, I do alot of public speaking, etc), but I've ran into something. I'm beginning to think people see me as ****y. Teachers are seeming to come on down for no reason imaginable in my mind, and with this stigma I feel like "Who wants to talk to a ****y guy?", then I start acting weird by not talking much (I almost feel like if I were to add something it'd be out of place, which is extremely out of whack since I'm very talkative most of the time). I'm just trying to be myself and not an emotional fountain.
Second, there's this chick I sort of been going after but I'm trying to remain neutral in my showcase so I don't appear too needy or something. But today I asked to see a worksheet of hers so I could copy it and out of no reason she told me she liked "Joe" more than me. Don't know what she meant by it, but just shrug it off right?
I've been trying to be more confident (I was already pretty confident, I do alot of public speaking, etc), but I've ran into something. I'm beginning to think people see me as ****y. Teachers are seeming to come on down for no reason imaginable in my mind, and with this stigma I feel like "Who wants to talk to a ****y guy?", then I start acting weird by not talking much (I almost feel like if I were to add something it'd be out of place, which is extremely out of whack since I'm very talkative most of the time). I'm just trying to be myself and not an emotional fountain.
Second, there's this chick I sort of been going after but I'm trying to remain neutral in my showcase so I don't appear too needy or something. But today I asked to see a worksheet of hers so I could copy it and out of no reason she told me she liked "Joe" more than me. Don't know what she meant by it, but just shrug it off right?
Itishe I understand what you are saying about the confidence thing, myself I can hold a long conversation with any adult, I'm 16, but I can not get what to say to my peers. It does not make sence to me. The second thing you talked about seemed kinda like she was trying to make you like her more, I really do not know how I would of replied in a situation like this. It has never really happened to me like that before. I am also interested in knowing what to do in that situation though.
I think I said, "it's alright". Sort of to show her I don't care and won't get upset by her remarks. I'm sure it was just a test.
Kegger I had the same situation (almost exactly) I could talk to any adult and keep a conversation up as long as it weren't too out doorsy (since I'm not a huge hunter/fish, etc.), and I also noticed I was acting very wussy to my peers (females at least). Now it kind of seems the other way around, almost as if Adults see me as some ****y rebel teenager.
About that girl again, when I'm online I'm running out of things to say to her (could be a good thing and gives an impression of, huh doesn't this guy want to talk to me?), but no matter what she keeps initiating the conversation.
Kegger I had the same situation (almost exactly) I could talk to any adult and keep a conversation up as long as it weren't too out doorsy (since I'm not a huge hunter/fish, etc.), and I also noticed I was acting very wussy to my peers (females at least). Now it kind of seems the other way around, almost as if Adults see me as some ****y rebel teenager.
About that girl again, when I'm online I'm running out of things to say to her (could be a good thing and gives an impression of, huh doesn't this guy want to talk to me?), but no matter what she keeps initiating the conversation.
I wish I could get the girls to initiate the convo on msn or ect. I always have to push a convo to even get them to talk to me. I found that if you run out of things to say start a game of checkers, ect. This gives you something to talk about.
shadowfox
Don Juan
real guys dont use msn there out playing sport...
come on guys? msn? it's just showing the girl you have nothing better to do...
Converse with them on the phone and real life (the girls)
come on guys? msn? it's just showing the girl you have nothing better to do...
Converse with them on the phone and real life (the girls)
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.