"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Fear of Success

Virtú

Don Juan
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I want to start a discussion on the fear of success.

The fear of success is defined as:

Fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't be happy, content, or satisfied once you reach your goal.

Belief that you are undeserving of all the good things and recognition that come your way as a result of your accomplishments and successes.

Opposite of fear of failure, in that fear of failure is the fear of making mistakes and losing approval. Fear of success is the fear of accomplishment and being recognized and honored.

Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the accomplishments you have achieved in your life.

Fear that your accomplishments can self-destruct at anytime.

Belief that no matter how much you are able to achieve or accomplish, it will never be enough to sustain success.

Belief that there are others out there who are better than you, who will replace or displace you if you do not maintain your performance record.

Belief that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your interest and/or commitment.

Fear that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the motivation to continue will fade.

Fear that you will find no happiness in your accomplishments; that you will be perpetually dissatisfied with life.

You know you want to succeed, yet you have a fear of success. One part of you is trying like heck to work hard, make all the right moves, and get that competitive edge...
While at the same time, another part of you is trembling with fear doing everything possible to sabotage your efforts. The harder you try - the harder this sabotage rears its head, chopping you off at the knees once again.

You know your life will improve if you are more confident, able to create wealth, be powerful and persuasive - yet, you keep giving up just when you get close. Or you make stupid mistakes. Or maybe you lose your motivation and just get lazy, even though you know you are a high achiever.

No matter how successful you are, or what you have accomplished, if you have a deep seated belief that you are unworthy, your subconscious mind will help you comply with your deepest belief that you are not worthy of that kind of success.

Even though you consciously want to succeed for all the right reasons, your subconscious mind probably has a ton of evidence that you are not good enough that is deeply rooted.

Your are not worthy

You do not deserve success

Nobody wants to hear what you have to say

You are not good enough

You may know, on a conscious level, that you are good enough, educated enough, smart enough. But your inner mind is not convinced. When you were very young your mind was an open slate. You had no evidence to the contrary when you formed your first, and most profound beliefs


It's something that I think I suffer from and I'd like to hear about other guys' experiences with it and how they overcame it.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Double

Master Don Juan
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yup, looking back I must say that I sabotaged myself a lot to not achieve what I could have achieved. how to overcome? ignore all set backs and ALWAYS work on a postive mindset....but if u had a negative attidude for years than it can take really long....
 

Virtú

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bump
 

Fenderules

Master Don Juan
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Age
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Alberta
New self: 3



Old self: 9



Wow i really did sabatage myself b4 i started seeing it.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

theSpeculator

Senior Don Juan
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Dec 16, 2004
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I scored a -2. Don't know what that means, but it said that I'm "basically okay."

You'll find your answer if you buy the book "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Branden.

It basically said that your fear of success, along with many other things, can be traced by to low self-esteem. And it will go into detail the characteristic of healthy self-esteem.

I'm begining to feel like a promoter of this book. Ha. Seriously, the book truly gave me an epiphany on the subject. So go Buy IT.
 
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