"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

FB says she loves me - what to do?

powpow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
381
Reaction score
11
Location
Hawaiian Jungles
Kind of an awkward situation.

I met a girl at a bar a couple of weeks ago, took her back to her place, and ****ed her for about a day.

We have been dirty texting like every day, but nothing really special. Nothing about work, life, anything but just sex.

I get home from her house last night, open up my phone, and its a text saying that she loves me.

This is really my first FB... and I certainly dont love her. But as a gentleman, I do not want to hurt this girl. She is really sweet... Also 29. I thought she was in it for the same reason as me.

So how do I respond to this? Is this a huge red flag? I would like to keep up the sort of relationship weve been having, because she is excellent in bed, but I am not sure that that is possible now that her feeling have gotten involved.

Im also spinning more plates than I can handle right now anyway. Any advice?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

bukowski_merit

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
1,313
Reaction score
160
Location
Tri-State
If you're spending a good bit of time with this woman (i don't know from your description) and fvcking her good - then it's not abnormal for her to develop these feelings rather quickly.... I've heard it as quickly as 5 days before (with a girl that i spent 4 out of those 5 days fvcking for hours)...

Sex is much more of a bonding experience for women. And that experiences releases all kinds of chimicals and "feel good" through her body, which is what makes her "fall in love".

With each orgasm they have - chemicals in their body bond them to you even more. This is essentially natures attempt to keep women from being hoes.

The only protection from this (for the man) is to only see her occasionally. And to make sure she is seeing other people (and fvcking them). The problem is - MOST guys/girls cannot deal with having a FB/FWB who fvcks other people (madonna/***** complex). This is why most FB/FWB situations end up turning into relationships after some jealousy plotline pops up. Or one person developes a lot more feelings for the other one and the relationship ends (normally because the person who didn't develope the same feelings was not being exclusive).

Now, if you're only seeing her like once a week - then yeah, something isn't right here. But even fvcking a girl for a whole day can make her "fall" for you.



As far as keeping the relationship as you've had it: Yes, it is possible. But i'd bet good money on her beginning to sh!t test you now. And begin a process of trying to lock you down (which can include walking away in hopes you follow.)
 

vatoloco

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2010
Messages
1,408
Reaction score
65
powpow said:
I get home from her house last night, open up my phone, and its a text saying that she loves me.
Did you cuddle with her after sex or did you immediately leave? Cuddling after orgasms (when she's still releasing oxytocin, I believe) might lead her to develop the bonding feelings that b_m has already talked about.

Also, keep in mind that she might have texted that ILU bomb impulsively (while she was high on oxytocin) and might not really fully feel that way...

The way I'd play it off is to keep the FB relationship just the way it is. Act as if she never sent anything. If she doesn't bring it up, proceed as normal. If she does bring it up, do some light C&F ("Of course you do! You're a smart girl! ;)") and play it down.

But if you're planning to keep her as a FB for a while, I'd skip on the cuddling and "bonding" activities. Unless of course, you want her to get attached to you. ;)

Also, keep in mind that if this girl is Japanese, 29 is a critical age for an unmarried, childless woman in Japan. Proceed with caution.
 

powpow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
381
Reaction score
11
Location
Hawaiian Jungles
I get what both of you guys are saying and thanks a lot for the input.

Man hell yeah I cuddle. This girl takes it like a champ and after about and hour or two of hard pounding, man you just get tired and wanna relax for a second. granted, I see what youre saying, its a dangerous game to play.

Im gonna create some distance for a little while - hopefully she doesnt take it the wrong way. No more goodnight texts. You guys rock.
 

LoneWolf

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 23, 2011
Messages
398
Reaction score
6
i noticed you're from japan. she's gotta be hot right!? mmm japanese girls.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

powpow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
381
Reaction score
11
Location
Hawaiian Jungles
youre kidding bro.

Japanese women in general are not all that great, honestly.

but when they are hot, or cute, or a combination of the two, its b0ner city.

to answer your question, 8.5. and rich. like a gold plate.
 

LoneWolf

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 23, 2011
Messages
398
Reaction score
6
does she make those porn noises when u fuk her? those little cute high pitched moans? oohh yeah1
 

Thundernuts

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2010
Messages
391
Reaction score
16
Location
Sealy, Tx
LoneWolf said:
does she make those porn noises when u fuk her? those little cute high pitched moans? oohh yeah1
If you can't tell by now Lonewolf spends alot of time playing playstation. The only things japanese that he's exposed to is a little boy saying he's a girl, video games, and japanese porn.

Don't feed his addiction man.
 

LoneWolf

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 23, 2011
Messages
398
Reaction score
6
uhhhh no. already stated in my last thread it wasnt a boy. photo proof with my name on a paper she wrote it down along with something else. but whatever gets you off pal.
 

Thundernuts

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2010
Messages
391
Reaction score
16
Location
Sealy, Tx
Lonewolf, you have my word i will never say anything like that about you again, but damn after reading all that crap yesterday, i just couldn't help myself.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Top