AllDay85
Senior Don Juan
A serious love interest of mine is a professional fashion shopper. She keeps pressing to style me, and i keep saying no. She's good at what she does, but am i losing my man card if i allow it? Thoughts please.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Fashion professional girlfriend. Do i let her dress me?
- Thread starter AllDay85
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
thatfeel
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2013
- Messages
- 714
- Reaction score
- 186
This is a tough one. My thoughts are you should be open to her ideas but don't necessarily commit to completely letting her dress you up. Like if she wants to take you shoe shopping because she doesn't think yours are in fashion, you go, let her get you some nice shoes and then what you do is you take what you now know about shoes and you begin to improve your style on your own. And not just with shoes but with everything. So basically if you allow this then let it trickle in, don't let her completely dress you from head to toe. That's emasculating.
I used to not care about shoes at all but since my gf opened me up with some pairs I now know for myself what I really like and coincidentally she's proud of the decisions I make for myself. A good looking shoe is something you can really be proud of as silly as it is. And from this experience I really started getting more into upgrading my wardrobe with more fashionable dress. Without her having to jump in at all. And she thinks I've come along way with my appearance.
I used to not care about shoes at all but since my gf opened me up with some pairs I now know for myself what I really like and coincidentally she's proud of the decisions I make for myself. A good looking shoe is something you can really be proud of as silly as it is. And from this experience I really started getting more into upgrading my wardrobe with more fashionable dress. Without her having to jump in at all. And she thinks I've come along way with my appearance.
HeadLightsOn
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2011
- Messages
- 419
- Reaction score
- 78
I'll be honest, I would normally say no but - you could take tips from her and implement them yourself. Eg, she says dark colour open neck casual shirts suit you. Ok, she's a pro, take her advice and have a look at some of those shirts etc.
I think the trick here is to let her feel some sense of 'helping' you with your dress sense, but you call the shots in what you end up wearing.
I wouldn't be too stressed about this and in the past, I've actually picked up good dress tips from fashionable gfriends.
I think the trick here is to let her feel some sense of 'helping' you with your dress sense, but you call the shots in what you end up wearing.
I wouldn't be too stressed about this and in the past, I've actually picked up good dress tips from fashionable gfriends.
Konada
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2011
- Messages
- 1,229
- Reaction score
- 649
I would say go with it, as you said she's a pro so it never hurts to get some tips on how to improve your dress sense. Ultimately as other posters said, it's your call whether you want to wear it or not.
Take it up a notch by bringing her lingerie shopping after that.
Take it up a notch by bringing her lingerie shopping after that.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Rock Steady
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2013
- Messages
- 10
- Reaction score
- 1
Say you'll play dress up with her if you get to play doctor afterward.
thatfeel
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2013
- Messages
- 714
- Reaction score
- 186
W... What? I understand what you're getting at but that just sounds not right.
stevo
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2014
- Messages
- 600
- Reaction score
- 250
You dress up a doll, not a man.
You dress up your puppy, not a man.
There is no way a girl is dressing me or rearranging my whole wardrobe.
She can buy me gifts, if it matches what I want to wear then fine if it doesn't, i'm re-gifting.
You dress up your puppy, not a man.
There is no way a girl is dressing me or rearranging my whole wardrobe.
She can buy me gifts, if it matches what I want to wear then fine if it doesn't, i'm re-gifting.
Last edited:
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
It's not a problem her showing you things she thinks might look good on you. BUT, do not agree to anything you REALLY don't like. She will smell this out and she will know you caved in. Again, if you like what she suggests than go with it, otherwise thanks, but no thanks.
I'd say go with it--but have clear boundaries to yourself on what you would wear, what you might wear, and what you would never wear. Basically, don't let her dress you up but make use of her suggestions to improve your look.
If she wants to boost your SMV, make use of that. Dress better, get more female attention, her competition anxiety shoots up. It's a win, win, right? Kind of the opposite of girl that say things like, "Oh, I like you better when you don't shave. I like you better with you're hair long. I don't like how muscular you are. Have some more dessert"--until by the time they dump your ass you've let yourself go. My exgf bought me a ton of clothes/boots (that mostly complemented but somewhat expanded my natural look) that served me well long after she broke up with me.
To the guys talking about frame... Yeah, holding frame is important--if your frame #1 is based around legitimate real world circumstances/experiences and/or #2 benefits you in the real world. For example, if your frame is "Every girl wants me" then that might not hold up against real world evidence, but it'll certainly benefit you in the real world. But if your frame is (like most guys) "I like the way I dress. I would never wear that"--but you're still wearing cargo shorts and baggy jeans and generic shirts, because at some point that's what you felt comfortable wearing because you lacked the confidence to do something different--your girl isn't going to respect you more for clinging onto a frame that's rooted in insecurity no matter how strong it became over time.
If she wants to boost your SMV, make use of that. Dress better, get more female attention, her competition anxiety shoots up. It's a win, win, right? Kind of the opposite of girl that say things like, "Oh, I like you better when you don't shave. I like you better with you're hair long. I don't like how muscular you are. Have some more dessert"--until by the time they dump your ass you've let yourself go. My exgf bought me a ton of clothes/boots (that mostly complemented but somewhat expanded my natural look) that served me well long after she broke up with me.
To the guys talking about frame... Yeah, holding frame is important--if your frame #1 is based around legitimate real world circumstances/experiences and/or #2 benefits you in the real world. For example, if your frame is "Every girl wants me" then that might not hold up against real world evidence, but it'll certainly benefit you in the real world. But if your frame is (like most guys) "I like the way I dress. I would never wear that"--but you're still wearing cargo shorts and baggy jeans and generic shirts, because at some point that's what you felt comfortable wearing because you lacked the confidence to do something different--your girl isn't going to respect you more for clinging onto a frame that's rooted in insecurity no matter how strong it became over time.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Maximus Rex
Banned
Is she buying the clothes?
Sprayarc
Banned
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2015
- Messages
- 303
- Reaction score
- 86
Yeah man. Bend to her will and frame but do it secretly. Terrible advice.
It's good that your girlfriend approves of your progress of improving your fashion. If she didn't approve you best change yourself for her.
thatfeel
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2013
- Messages
- 714
- Reaction score
- 186
I'm not saying bend to her will and frame. I'm saying be open to suggestions but don't flat out agree to everything with little to no resistance. Some guys honestly do need fashion advice; they dress like man children or just have no sense of style. I don't see what the big deal is.