AllDay85
Senior Don Juan
A serious love interest of mine is a professional fashion shopper. She keeps pressing to style me, and i keep saying no. She's good at what she does, but am i losing my man card if i allow it? Thoughts please.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Fashion professional girlfriend. Do i let her dress me?
- Thread starter AllDay85
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
thatfeel
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This is a tough one. My thoughts are you should be open to her ideas but don't necessarily commit to completely letting her dress you up. Like if she wants to take you shoe shopping because she doesn't think yours are in fashion, you go, let her get you some nice shoes and then what you do is you take what you now know about shoes and you begin to improve your style on your own. And not just with shoes but with everything. So basically if you allow this then let it trickle in, don't let her completely dress you from head to toe. That's emasculating.
I used to not care about shoes at all but since my gf opened me up with some pairs I now know for myself what I really like and coincidentally she's proud of the decisions I make for myself. A good looking shoe is something you can really be proud of as silly as it is. And from this experience I really started getting more into upgrading my wardrobe with more fashionable dress. Without her having to jump in at all. And she thinks I've come along way with my appearance.
I used to not care about shoes at all but since my gf opened me up with some pairs I now know for myself what I really like and coincidentally she's proud of the decisions I make for myself. A good looking shoe is something you can really be proud of as silly as it is. And from this experience I really started getting more into upgrading my wardrobe with more fashionable dress. Without her having to jump in at all. And she thinks I've come along way with my appearance.
HeadLightsOn
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I'll be honest, I would normally say no but - you could take tips from her and implement them yourself. Eg, she says dark colour open neck casual shirts suit you. Ok, she's a pro, take her advice and have a look at some of those shirts etc.
I think the trick here is to let her feel some sense of 'helping' you with your dress sense, but you call the shots in what you end up wearing.
I wouldn't be too stressed about this and in the past, I've actually picked up good dress tips from fashionable gfriends.
I think the trick here is to let her feel some sense of 'helping' you with your dress sense, but you call the shots in what you end up wearing.
I wouldn't be too stressed about this and in the past, I've actually picked up good dress tips from fashionable gfriends.
Konada
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I would say go with it, as you said she's a pro so it never hurts to get some tips on how to improve your dress sense. Ultimately as other posters said, it's your call whether you want to wear it or not.
Take it up a notch by bringing her lingerie shopping after that.
Take it up a notch by bringing her lingerie shopping after that.
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Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Rock Steady
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Say you'll play dress up with her if you get to play doctor afterward.
thatfeel
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W... What? I understand what you're getting at but that just sounds not right.
stevo
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You dress up a doll, not a man.
You dress up your puppy, not a man.
There is no way a girl is dressing me or rearranging my whole wardrobe.
She can buy me gifts, if it matches what I want to wear then fine if it doesn't, i'm re-gifting.
You dress up your puppy, not a man.
There is no way a girl is dressing me or rearranging my whole wardrobe.
She can buy me gifts, if it matches what I want to wear then fine if it doesn't, i'm re-gifting.
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RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
It's not a problem her showing you things she thinks might look good on you. BUT, do not agree to anything you REALLY don't like. She will smell this out and she will know you caved in. Again, if you like what she suggests than go with it, otherwise thanks, but no thanks.
I'd say go with it--but have clear boundaries to yourself on what you would wear, what you might wear, and what you would never wear. Basically, don't let her dress you up but make use of her suggestions to improve your look.
If she wants to boost your SMV, make use of that. Dress better, get more female attention, her competition anxiety shoots up. It's a win, win, right? Kind of the opposite of girl that say things like, "Oh, I like you better when you don't shave. I like you better with you're hair long. I don't like how muscular you are. Have some more dessert"--until by the time they dump your ass you've let yourself go. My exgf bought me a ton of clothes/boots (that mostly complemented but somewhat expanded my natural look) that served me well long after she broke up with me.
To the guys talking about frame... Yeah, holding frame is important--if your frame #1 is based around legitimate real world circumstances/experiences and/or #2 benefits you in the real world. For example, if your frame is "Every girl wants me" then that might not hold up against real world evidence, but it'll certainly benefit you in the real world. But if your frame is (like most guys) "I like the way I dress. I would never wear that"--but you're still wearing cargo shorts and baggy jeans and generic shirts, because at some point that's what you felt comfortable wearing because you lacked the confidence to do something different--your girl isn't going to respect you more for clinging onto a frame that's rooted in insecurity no matter how strong it became over time.
If she wants to boost your SMV, make use of that. Dress better, get more female attention, her competition anxiety shoots up. It's a win, win, right? Kind of the opposite of girl that say things like, "Oh, I like you better when you don't shave. I like you better with you're hair long. I don't like how muscular you are. Have some more dessert"--until by the time they dump your ass you've let yourself go. My exgf bought me a ton of clothes/boots (that mostly complemented but somewhat expanded my natural look) that served me well long after she broke up with me.
To the guys talking about frame... Yeah, holding frame is important--if your frame #1 is based around legitimate real world circumstances/experiences and/or #2 benefits you in the real world. For example, if your frame is "Every girl wants me" then that might not hold up against real world evidence, but it'll certainly benefit you in the real world. But if your frame is (like most guys) "I like the way I dress. I would never wear that"--but you're still wearing cargo shorts and baggy jeans and generic shirts, because at some point that's what you felt comfortable wearing because you lacked the confidence to do something different--your girl isn't going to respect you more for clinging onto a frame that's rooted in insecurity no matter how strong it became over time.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Maximus Rex
Banned
Is she buying the clothes?
Sprayarc
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Yeah man. Bend to her will and frame but do it secretly. Terrible advice.
It's good that your girlfriend approves of your progress of improving your fashion. If she didn't approve you best change yourself for her.
thatfeel
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I'm not saying bend to her will and frame. I'm saying be open to suggestions but don't flat out agree to everything with little to no resistance. Some guys honestly do need fashion advice; they dress like man children or just have no sense of style. I don't see what the big deal is.